DC 14yo wants an Iphone!

[DamnUserName21]

Just a vent really.

My 14yo has been nagging me, bombarding me, arguing with me, throwing strops, tears and the odd tantrum because she wants me to get her a £600 Iphone on finance through Apple. She said she'd give up her allowance (which is more than the monthly payment) and will do more chores to pay for it.

The thing is - we aren't an Iphone family. I don't buy into all the new or Apple tech. DC is generally unspoiled and not into gadgets and 'stuff' and does not usually ask for much. She has a Samsung currently, which was second-hand from another family member as she broke her previous mobile.

I'm at my wits end and find it all so wearying. I don't know -- am I being unreasonable? I just find a 14yo with an expensive mobile phone so unnecessary. Plus the chances of damage are high!

For those of you that have been through this--what are your experiences? How did you handle things?

Probably at her wits end with all the tantrums about it

If she wants an iPhone I'd get her one but £600 would be a no. Don't like them myself, I've never rates the battery life so I have Samsung as do the pre teens. Both adult ds' have iPhone though

No need to be unpleasant.

@TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow

Probably at her wits end with all the tantrums about it

There didn't need to be any tantrums. It's a totally reasonable request and should be open to negotiation.

I'm not condoning the behaviour of the teen but I can absolutely see where it's come from.

I have an iPhone SE and brought my daughter one - no upfront costs. Younger one can have this when I upgrade. I don’t do tech but I like Apple. Get her to save her allowance for 6 months with no spend eg Christmas time and then do it just after eg Jan 2024 and just do it but get insurance etc

I've never spent more than £100 on a phone for myself, the idea of a teenager having a £600 phone just sounds mad and daft to me but if its her money, have at it I guess.

My DC have iphones - I was a mug and bought DD's new from John Lewis - jut the basic, entry level model they do.

Got DS the same phone but from Backmarket and you honestly can't tell the difference - other than it was significantly cheaper (as in 100s).

I've never had an iPhone and neither has DH. We have mid range Samsungs.
DD insisted she wanted one probably age 13, and her last 2 phones have been second hand iPhone a on a sim only contract. (Both were xmas presents) I gave her the choice of a new non iPhone or a 2nd hand iPhone (for same budget) and she chose the iPhone.
Most of her friends have iPhone but their parents upgrade frequently and they get their "old" ones which are newer than her 2nd hand one.
DS has a Google pixle phone which he thinks is better than an iPhone. It was a joint xmas/birthday present

Then you must be omniscient as well as presumptuous.

I have not said no to my child. I told her I would look into it. However, some children demand a yes straightaway, which was the source of the strops and tantrums.

How about a second hand iphone from somewhere like magpie or giffgaff. You can still pay monthly for the phone.

That is what my dc's and I have. No problems with the phones at all.

I don't really get why you're against it. She may want to use FaceTime with her friends. Anyway, my DD18 and DS11 have them - she has top of the range, he has second hand refurbished, as do I. One other advantage is you can check locations on find my iPhone,

@DamnUserName21

Then you must be omniscient as well as presumptuous.

I made my comments based on the information you gave.

I wasn't making a dig at you but you didn't say you had agreed discussion and teenagers have form for acting like toddlers when they don't get heard. Clearly my comments were wrong as you have now added further detail.

I wish you well.

Doesnt really sound like the expected behaviour of the generally unspoiled child who doesn’t ask for much from the OP.

I gave my DS my old iPhone 7 when he was 12 as it's still on my account and has a PAYG sim in it.

I asked him if he wanted to upgrade to a cheaper new Samsung phone for his 15th birthday but he says he's happy with the old iPhone. Its battery is rubbish now but he only switches it on briefly and keeps the screen on low.

I prefer Apple products generally as they're easier to use and seem less prone to viruses or other malware. I also can easily keep an eye on any Apps he might want to use as it's still linked to my account.

What is it that you specifically object to OP?
Is it the price? Or DD having an internet phone? Or just the Apple brand?

At 14 she is not being unreasonable to want a phone like her friends have.

If your objection is Apple, then I think that’s unreasonable. Just because you don’t like Apple, it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be able to have that brand.
If it’s the price - well there are plenty of cheaper options - second hand, lower spec etc.

And house insurance generally covers phone loss or damage. I claimed for DS when he broke his, and we actually ended up getting more money than the phone was worth.

Most teenagers do seem to have iPhones and some will view anything else as just not acceptable. We have usually bought refurbished phones from music magpie.

This is what I was thinking to do subject to her behaviour and saving some of her allowance to put towards it.

I think you’re being quite controlling.

She is willing to pay for it herself but you just don’t want her having one because it’s not something you want.

Her behaviour is completely unacceptable but you’re also being very unfair for no reason, so it’s not wonder she’s getting so frustrated.

Price, Mumbles. It's a lot of money. Contrary to the pile on, I don't give a fig that it's an Apple. Nor would I refuse my DC something purely based on what brand it is.

Genuine question. I can understand the sentiment of them learning about saving up for something special, but how does a teenager save up when they're not earning money? Presumably, that can't really happen until they're in employment?

My teen (15) doesn't get given pocket money and as he has no other relatives (grandparents etc.) he doesn't receive gifts of cash from anywhere else. We live very rurally and nearest town is 7 miles away so no chance of a P/T job either.

Thankfully, he's not interested in shopping or buying stuff so we've not had to deal with the problems the OP has encountered so far.

Controlling? To query financing a £600 phone on credit for 14yo?

@ClumsyNinja How does your son get money to do anything if you don't give him pocket money? Most young people could earn money by doing extra chores in the house or garden. There are boys where I live who go door to door washing cars, they charge extra for hoovering it inside. There are lots of ways (but I understand it might be difficult if you live very rurally)

The “we are not an iPhone family” is an interesting comment hence everybody picking up on it. You mean that you and her dad use Android really because it’s not really a choice that she consciously made. If you’d said that Android phones are higher spec for the same price or more robust then you would have had fewer comments.

The younger you are, the more likely you are to have an iPhone rather than Android. I can see why she might want to fit in and pick iPhone or is curious if it’s better. I wouldn’t buy the £600 one because you don’t want her to learn that bad behaviour is how she gets what she wants from you but there is a compromise to be had here.

Such an unnecessary and unhelpful comment.

Even unspoiled children have off days. She's 14yo. They can be hormonal and/or emotional and definitely unreasonable sometimes.

Hi @ClumsyNinja

DD had pocket money as soon as she wouldn't eat it! So 3 years old. Always, the amount was around her age every fortnight. But I didn't buy sweets, toys, magazines or any crap. I think it's really important for children to manage money.

DD is 13 now, has her own bank account with a card, saves well. She loves it and is good at it. I don't think you can go from zero money management easily to leaving home and doing it all.

My 13 year old DD has one and she has for a few years. She’s mature for her age. All her friends have one too. Kids just do at that age these days. I didn’t want her to be singled out. She looks after hers better than I do mine!