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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

My teenage daughter wants to have a piercing

88 replies

MarieMM · 17/01/2024 20:09

For a few years I have refused my teenage daughter to have a piercing. Not because I have something particular against piercings, but because she wanted a piercing through her nle. And I just felt that this would be such a bad signal for her to send, since it would be bound to show through clothing, and I suspect that she wants this to be the case. But now that she turned 18, she claims that I can no longer prevent her from having that piercing done. I guess she is technically right, but I am also beginning to doubt myself. Am I overreacting? Am I seeing something seualized where there isn't any? I could really use some inputs!

OP posts:
helpmum2003 · 17/01/2024 20:14

Hi OP, I would feel exactly the same. I would not discuss it any further in the hope that your lack of interest/opinion makes it a less exciting thing to do.

ApoodlecalledPenny · 17/01/2024 20:17

Get one to match and see how fast she goes off hers.

QueSyrahSyrah · 17/01/2024 20:18

Her nipples, her choice now she's 18.

FWIW a friend of mine has both done and I've never noticed them through her clothes.

Original poster
MarieMM · 17/01/2024 20:19

helpmum2003 · 17/01/2024 20:14

Hi OP, I would feel exactly the same. I would not discuss it any further in the hope that your lack of interest/opinion makes it a less exciting thing to do.

Yeah, I am also trying my best to not make it "interesting" for her to discuss it. But what if she one day comes home with such a piercing? I really don't want to end up losing my temper and demand she take it out, or something similar. 😢

OP posts:
OneMoreTime23 · 17/01/2024 20:20

MarieMM · 17/01/2024 20:19

Yeah, I am also trying my best to not make it "interesting" for her to discuss it. But what if she one day comes home with such a piercing? I really don't want to end up losing my temper and demand she take it out, or something similar. 😢

Show quote history

She’s an adult and it’s her body. You have NO RIGHT to make any demands of it.

ginoclocksomewhere · 17/01/2024 20:20

Why would you lose your temper over something she's chosen to do to her body? Bit weird.

She's an adult, she can get her nipple priced if she wants. Be grateful it’s not her clit.

BarelyLiterate · 17/01/2024 20:20

Your daughter is an adult, therefore she can do whatever she wants to her own body and it’s really none of your business. If, when I was 18, my mother had tried to tell me I couldn’t get a part of my own body pierced, she would have received a very blunt two-word response.

Original poster
MarieMM · 17/01/2024 20:20

QueSyrahSyrah · 17/01/2024 20:18

Her nipples, her choice now she's 18.

FWIW a friend of mine has both done and I've never noticed them through her clothes.

Yes, that is the thing. Do you think I'm seeing a problem that isn't there? I just don't want people to think badly of her.

OP posts:
StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 17/01/2024 20:20

Her body her choice.

How do you think her having a piercing will affect you in the slightest? You won't even see it.

Emmelina · 17/01/2024 20:20

Nipple nipple nipple nipple.

lets just get the word out there, shall we?

She’s 18, let her get on with it. It’s her body.

I have a nipple pierced, the only one to actually see it is my husband. Certainly none of the parents of the school I teach at are any the wiser tucked away under my top and bra!

NIPPLE.

TeenLifeMum · 17/01/2024 20:21

I’d be concerned about infection but her body her choice. I’m not a fan of piercings but prefer them to tattoos… but again, my dc can make their own choices.

StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 17/01/2024 20:22

MarieMM · 17/01/2024 20:20

Yes, that is the thing. Do you think I'm seeing a problem that isn't there? I just don't want people to think badly of her.

Show quote history

If anyone is looking that closely at her nipple without her consent then you should be thinking badly of them

Dotchange · 17/01/2024 20:22

Emmelina · 17/01/2024 20:20

Nipple nipple nipple nipple.

lets just get the word out there, shall we?

She’s 18, let her get on with it. It’s her body.

I have a nipple pierced, the only one to actually see it is my husband. Certainly none of the parents of the school I teach at are any the wiser tucked away under my top and bra!

NIPPLE.

<nipple>

QueSyrahSyrah · 17/01/2024 20:22

You're absolutely seeing a problem that isn't there OP. What difference would it make even if someone did one day notice it?

FWIW the double pierced friend has an extremely professional job and earns more than just about any Woman I know. Pierced nipples have not held her back in life.

FirstFallopians · 17/01/2024 20:23

It’s a nipple piercing, presumably covered by a bra and/or a top for 99.9% of her waking day?

I’m a massive square and even I’m failing to see the issue with an adult getting a consensual, removable piercing? It’s not like it’s a forehead tattoo.

FriendsDrinkBook · 17/01/2024 20:25

Imo the best thing you can do is talk to her about it , even help her find a tattoo/piercing shop with good reviews to use. She might go somewhere crappy and get it done behind your back if you're not careful.

Original poster
MarieMM · 17/01/2024 20:25

ginoclocksomewhere · 17/01/2024 20:20

Why would you lose your temper over something she's chosen to do to her body? Bit weird.

She's an adult, she can get her nipple priced if she wants. Be grateful it’s not her clit.

Edited

Because I care about her and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. Why would I be grateful about that? If she wanted a clitoral piercing then at least I wouldn't have to know about it!

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 17/01/2024 20:26

None of your business as it's her body

dementedpixie · 17/01/2024 20:27

Why would anything bad happen to her from getting her nipple pierced?

TinyYellow · 17/01/2024 20:29

You are in control of your temper, she is in control of her nipples. That’s just they way it is and if you don’t accept that she can do it if she wants then you are in the wrong.

You’re lucky she hasn’t had a piercing already. My mum told me I wasn’t allowed my nose pierced at 15, it didn’t stop me doing it!

Guavafish1 · 17/01/2024 20:30

I won't be happy too but she no longer needs your permission.

Original poster
MarieMM · 17/01/2024 20:30

StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 17/01/2024 20:22

If anyone is looking that closely at her nipple without her consent then you should be thinking badly of them

Show quote history

This is actually a point that I hadn't considered. Thank You.

OP posts:
User1706 · 17/01/2024 20:31

I had a nipple piercing for years (not sure why you edited the word nipple out btw it's just another part of the body.) It wasn't visible through clothing, even in a thin bra and t-shirt (I never had a ring so can't comment on that). I went on to then breastfeed with no issues. That was the reason I eventually let it heal as I got bored of taking it in and out for baby.

I think you're perhaps over-sexualising breasts/nipples and worrying unnecessarily. As long as your daughters is going to a professional piercer and looks after the piecing whilst it heals I would say there is little to worry about she's an adult now after all.

sprigatito · 17/01/2024 20:32

She's 18, so it's entirely up to her. It's her body. It's that simple. If you're still telling her what she can and can't do at 18, you're in the wrong.

By all means have a dialogue with her and discuss your concerns... she's more likely to engage with that if you're not inappropriately giving orders.

strawberryswizzler · 17/01/2024 20:33

There’s nothing you can do to stop her. I would however warn her it’s a risky piercing, my friends got ripped out when she took her bra off and it wasn’t pretty 🥲