My teenage daughter wants to have a piercing

[MarieMM]

For a few years I have refused my teenage daughter to have a piercing. Not because I have something particular against piercings, but because she wanted a piercing through her nle. And I just felt that this would be such a bad signal for her to send, since it would be bound to show through clothing, and I suspect that she wants this to be the case. But now that she turned 18, she claims that I can no longer prevent her from having that piercing done. I guess she is technically right, but I am also beginning to doubt myself. Am I overreacting? Am I seeing something seualized where there isn't any? I could really use some inputs!

I would research reputable piercing places and discuss with her all of the negatives - possible infections, peoples perceptions, long term scaring. Then it’s up to her. She’s 18 you can’t tell her what to do any more.

She's an adult. She could come home with her entire face looking like Pinhead, &, well, it is her adult, autonomous face.

A nipple piercing is actually a good option from your POV because it's not on display. Facial piercings are visible to everyone - you should be more worried if she was covering herself in those. Bar through a nip? No one will know or care.

FWIW, I have quite a few friends who had nipple piercings, back in the day, & they mostly removed them eventually because a) got in the way of BFing b) tended to catch on clothes.

Much as I removed my nose stud because I got fed up with jabbing myself in the septum.

We are a bunch of 50 somethings who are just left with an arguable excess of metal in our ears these days!

Ultimately, your 18yo adult dd can have whatever piercing she likes. You are wasting your time trying to control this.

just here to say nipples nipples nipples nnipples
vagina vagina vagina vagina
clitoris clit clit
breasts breasts breasts
do not censor the words for our own anatomy. The female body s amazing and not something to be censored!!!

Its a pierced nipple. She's an adult. When I was 18 I got my clitoral hood pierced, and the world did not end. Its only a bit of jewellery, I really don't think this is a battle worth fighting.

Bloody hell. If my daughter comes to me at 18 saying she wants her nipple pierced I'd say go for it!

I had both mine pierced and I don't think anyone could tell under my clothes. If they could, it also meant they could surely see my nipples when cold which is surely worse and more "provocative" (God forbid anyone is exposed to the knowledge women have nipples).

Also, I never had anyone think negatively of me for having them pierced. If anything it was pretty badass and cool.

Maybe I should get them repierced...

Yeah, I am also trying my best to not make it "interesting" for her to discuss it. But what if she one day comes home with such a piercing? I really don't want to end up losing my temper and demand she take it out, or something similar. 😢

You can't do this op, she's an adult, you can't demand she does anything.
I wouldn't like it either but as she's 18 it's her body to do with as she wishes

I’m surprised she’s mentioned it to you and hasn’t just gone and got it done. Shes 18. I have mine done so of course I wouldn’t be concerned if it was my adult dc.

The fuck is a n/e??

She's 18, stop thinking you have any control over what she does to her body!! There is nothing wrong with having a nipple piercing and if anyone notices it so be it. The subtext being that you think nipple piercing is 'slutty' and you don't want people thinking your daughter is a slut right??

You've a very odd way of thinking? Do you judge women who wear short skirts, blame them if they're assaulted?
Why would you assume you can demand your adult daughter does what you say?
Get out the 1950s

@RowanMayfair
n**ple, the OP is so uptight she can't even type nipple on an anonymous forum.

I got my belly button pierced when I was 19 and my mum intimidated me into taking it out. I hated her for it and (due to other reasons too) have as little to do with her as possible now.

So what? Not your choice is it? It wouldn't bother me. She's an adult.

My DD had hers pierced at 17 and told me a couple of months later! Her body, her decision.

She's 18 it's nothing to do with you , my dd has her nose , tongue and belly button done none of my business I was just fascinated how a tongue piercing doesn't hurt but apparently it doesn't.

🤣

I think you need to have a think about where your head is about female bodies op.

Firstly, hers is literally nothing to do with you. You have no right whatsoever to demand, or to lose your temper etc. This is all hideous modelling to your daughter. Your job is to empower her. To teach her that her body is hers alone and noone has any right over it. Noone should use any kind of abusive tactic to attempt to exert power over it (including you).

Secondly, why are you blanking out nipple. Seriously? Give yourself a shake!

Thirdly, who would think anything of her other than a judgemental asshole? And you apparently. Are you being a judgemental asshole is the question to ask yourself?

But I would really think about what messages you are sending her, because from here, they look worrying.

What would people think badly about?

You don't have to censor the word nipple, for a start.

Also it's her body, she can do what she likes with it, you have zero say unless you're specifically asked for your opinion.

She's an adult! I got mine done at 18 and remember feeling liberated. Couldn't be without them now
For me it's her body her choice, whatever makes her feel most happy and comfortable within reason, which this is!

If 'something bad' happens to her it isn't because she has a nipple piercing.

I got my nose pierced and a tattoo at 18. My mum told me I looked like a slut and nobody at University would think I was decent 😂 😂

Amazingly nobody recoiled in horror and I made friends fine.

Make sure your daughter knows that it is never the fault of the female in cases of sexual assault against them. Nothing they wear / do / say makes somebody assault them.

Yes, I actually agree! I just didn't want to give the wrong impression here, so I wanted to be on the safe side. But I can see why it would stand out as well. Sorry about that.

I have one of mine pierced and no body has ever said they've noticed it through my clothing.

Honestly can’t see the issue here, there are always tshirt bras if she’s in any way concerned about them showing but if she’s not then it’s up to her at 18. Facial piercing I’m not keen on and facial tattoos even less but anything else I couldn’t get stressed over. She’s an adult and she can do what she likes now and you don’t have to approve or like it.

DD1 is 18 and has multiple piercings in her ears, through her nose and belly button. For all I know she could have other piercings I don't know about. She has her own money (working FT on a year out) and is an adult. I'm not fond of the nose ring tbh but she has a pretty face and suits it. She can't wear it at work anyway.

DD2 is 14 and is of course governed by what school allow. No point having lots done if you have to take it out.

You couldn't even write the word nipple - are you a massive prude?

She's 18 - she can do what she likes.