My teenage daughter wants to have a piercing

[MarieMM]

For a few years I have refused my teenage daughter to have a piercing. Not because I have something particular against piercings, but because she wanted a piercing through her nle. And I just felt that this would be such a bad signal for her to send, since it would be bound to show through clothing, and I suspect that she wants this to be the case. But now that she turned 18, she claims that I can no longer prevent her from having that piercing done. I guess she is technically right, but I am also beginning to doubt myself. Am I overreacting? Am I seeing something seualized where there isn't any? I could really use some inputs!

Really not a battle worth picking. Also I don't think nipple piercings are easily visible through clothes

I wouldn't like it either. I'd worry about infection/damage/getting caught on clothes.

It's all very well saying 18 is adult, but it isn't in all contexts. When I was young the state paid less income support to 18 year olds than it did to those who were 25. The state still expects parental support for university students. The brain is still developing until a person is mid 20s. And to me, you aren't an adult until you aren't living with your mum and are financially self sufficient. So yes, I think the OP has a right to discourage this.

When I was 18 I had my belly button pierced and a tattoo without even consulting my DM. She liked them but even if she didn't wouldn't have made any difference. My DD is 14 and has 3 lobe piercings and wants her belly done once she is 16...I'm quite liberal with things like that as I also have multiple piercings so wouldn't mind. If she wants more when she is 18 so be it...by then it's up to her so my opinion wouldn't matter anyway.

I have my nipples pierced and can assure you, nobody has ever known about them unless I want them to......especially my mum.

You are being ridiculous. Her body, her decision.

Also, would you also say you wouldn't want her to go out in revealing clothes because you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her? You sound very controlling.

I've heard of a nipple piercing being ripped out, when a defibrillator has to be out on. Can't have the metal over this area, no time to unscrew. Unlikely to happen, but maybe mention it to her. It's enough to put me off.

It's frankly none of your business. If you go around losing your temper and demanding she removes things on a regular basis she's not going to discuss things with you like safe places to get pierced. I'd rather have an open and respectful relationship with my daughters where they can ask me for advice, not hide things. The issue here is you, what you think of nipple piercings is irrelevant.

That's very well put.

Op it's clear that the way you are viewed, and in your mind by extension your daughter is viewed by others, is important to you.

This is the bigger issue here, rather than the piercing. Feeling reassured by the fact that people are saying it's fine, rather than it's awful is to some extent normal, but this sort of thought process means that rather than consolidating our own beliefs we leave ourselves vulnerable to being led by other's values.

Aside from the fact that your daughter is an adult and can make her own choices, by showing her that how she is viewed by others is more important to you than how she views herself, is a bit problematic.

OP you seem very concerned about what strangers think. Worried people (which people?) will somehow think badly of your Daughter for a piercing they won't know about unless she has her top off in front them, worried that the internet strangers here would get the wrong impression if you used the word nipple in full.

Top tip: Strangers by and large don't waste a second of their time thinking about you. You may spend a lot of time judging people you don't know for spurious reasons, but lots of us have our own lives to be getting on with and wouldn't give any of these a passing glance.

NIPPLE

Ah, just let her get on with it and don't think about it anymore. For what it's worth, I had mine done at 18, and it lasted all of 2 months before I got sick of it getting caught when I was dressing/undressing. I went piercing and tattoo crazy at her age because my mum was so strict about them. I turned out OK 👍

This is absolute nonsense. Stop believing everything you read in Take A Break.

I've lived in England for a long while now but this is apart of the culture I can't imbibe. Was discussing this with my DMIL last night. As long as you live with your parents you obey them. End of.
Even guests who stay temporarily abide by the host's requirements while in their home. 18 and 21 are not magic numbers.

Absolutely ridiculous that they rip them out to put de fib pads on. In my training we were taught to just place the pads not on them and if it was unavailable a slight skin burn was preferable to a dead patient. Ripping them out was not a course recommended!

Legally they are but funny how you've never thought that as long as you live in a country you 'obey' their cultural norms...

Hahaha comment of the day 👏😂

Yes this is exactly what you are doing. You are making a massive deal out of nothing. It is her body so her choice.
If I were your daughter, I would honestly be quite upset and disappointed that you were more worried what over people thought. Says more about you than her.
It's not a massive face tattoo, she can just take it out if she changes her mind later!

This is possibly one of the most "mums-netty" posts I've ever seen! 😂

@MarieMM The fact you cant bring yourself to type the word NIPPLE speaks volumes TBH. What on earth do you think might happen to your daughter with a nipple piercing -- that wouldn't happen to her if she remains piercing free??

You dont even need to know if she's had it done or not! Unless you regularly check out your own daughters breasts??? (Which I presume you dont!)

When my daughter was 16 she wanted a septum piercing. Not really my thing but she'd been on about it for years. So I said to her i would pay for her to have it done if she got good grades on her GCSE's (as an incentive measure) She did really well so we went together to get her Septum piercing. At the appointment I surprized her by having my navel pierced at the same time! Was a great mother daughter bonding moment! 😂

Why dont you go and have your NIPPLE done at the same time??? 😱

I've got both mine done

People only know if I tell them. Only DH has seen them (and the piercer obv)

You can't see them through clothes

Your DD is 18. Unsure what message you think it sends? Well I am, but your wrong

I got mine done at 18 and redone at 35, no issues as long as you follow aftercare instructions and get it done somewhere reputable. You absolutely cannot see it through clothes unless you don't wear a bra, but even then people shouldn't be staring at her nipples to notice. Her body, her choice.

I don't like them myself but the only piercing I would be sad about is the one in the ear where you end up with a big hole. A friend of ds was thinking of having one of those and one of his teachers (who had one) talked him out of it as he said he really regretted it himself.

Dd has stuck to her ears for now, seconds, helix & industrial. I don't like the industrial but it's her body.

@HairyToity
Seriously? you think paramedics rip someone's nipples??
The defib pads don't go anywhere near nipples.
They walk among us 🙄🙄

Why the hell would pierced nipped cause anything bad to happen to her?