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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Day 1 of holiday with teens arrghh

101 replies

CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 07:50

One my own (going through a divorce) with two teens, 19 and 15. On a Greek Island for 10 nights.
Day 1 and youngest has just got up (09:45) which is fine as I had to get them up yesterday at 03:30 for the flight. Eldest got up moaning about his bed at 09:00. I made his breakfast and his has moaned constantly. He has left his cup of tea and breakfast and gone back to bed. I’m sat here waiting to go out for the day. I told him to go to bed early and get up early as some days he is in bed until 1pm!! I can’t live like that, being an early bird, and it’d wasting my holiday time and money. I’m in a stressful job at home with no help with the younger child (her dad doesn’t have her more than 2-3 hours a week nor pays any child support).

I am already wanting to go home! I hate being with teenagers now. 9 nights to go!!!!

There dad hasn’t taken them anywhere and the youngest just let slip that he’s has gone to Italy with friends while we are away!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 07:51

I will excuse today due to the long day yesterday but I won’t tolerate sitting in an apartment room for 50% or my holiday. It’s not on!

Give me strength.

Next year, I’m going without them.

OP posts:
Original poster
CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 07:52

*Their dad

OP posts:
bigbadbarry · 22/08/2023 07:54

He’s 19? Go out for your lovely day and leave him in bed

Ylvamoon · 22/08/2023 07:54

Leave them to it?
Just tell them what your plans are for the next day during the evening meal. Then leave it to them to join or not.

Timeless01 · 22/08/2023 07:56

That’s normal for a teenager and a holiday! Let them get on with it.

lilyfire · 22/08/2023 07:56

I have teens and have just been on holiday with them. One of them will get up about 9.30 - 10am to go somewhere with me but the others - there’s no point trying to get up before midday at earliest. I’d do your own thing in the morning and plan to have lunch together and something in the afternoon. Otherwise the danger is you just turn your holiday into a series of fights.

Climbin · 22/08/2023 07:57

Mine are 18 and 15 and this year I went out without them each morning- pool, breakfast, beach, town - picked them up at lunch for aft and eve together. Worked perfectly for all

Doyouthinktheyknow · 22/08/2023 07:57

Make plans on your own and they either get up in time to join or you leave them to it.

Teens idea of a holiday is often very different. My teens would never get up. We go alone now and still marvel at the fact we can be out by 9am. It’s like being gifted another half a day🤣

Bananasplitlady · 22/08/2023 07:58

Agree with pps, leave a note, go out. My teenager was a git on holiday so I read the riot act and she perked up by day 3, but I didn't spend days 1 and 2 hanging around for her, it was MY hard earned holiday and I was buggered if she was going to spoil it.

Bananas1350 · 22/08/2023 07:59

Good lord I agree with the others. Either they get up or they stay there until u come back. Go and enjoy ur holiday. If they complain they are more than welcome to wake up in time to come with u.

HamishTheCamel · 22/08/2023 07:59

Why do you have to sit in the apartment? Go out OP! Have a morning doing your own thing while they sleep, back for lunch and then spend the afternoon and evening together.

Divebar2021 · 22/08/2023 08:00

I wouldn’t be making breakfast either

Original poster
CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 08:01

We’ve only got one key for the apartment. I’ve booked a trip to a water park for Friday and the bus picks us up at 8:30 😭

OP posts:
Overthebow · 22/08/2023 08:02

CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 08:01

We’ve only got one key for the apartment. I’ve booked a trip to a water park for Friday and the bus picks us up at 8:30 😭

Have you asked them if they want to go? If they do then they’ll have to get up for it, but they’re teenagers and may have a different idea of a holiday to you. Just get up and do what you want to do.

Original poster
CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 08:05

Climbin · 22/08/2023 07:57

Mine are 18 and 15 and this year I went out without them each morning- pool, breakfast, beach, town - picked them up at lunch for aft and eve together. Worked perfectly for all

The 15 year old girl will come with me but she often gets moody. I really can’t leave them together as the eldest can be really awful to his sister.

I do think, though, that I’ll have to go out in the mornings without him but there’s not much to do.

I’m definitely not taking him next year. He’ll going to university next month (been on a gap year) and he will be 20 in March. I know he’s going to CentreParks with his friends in January.

I’m just so annoyed that their dad gets absolutely loads of free time to do his own thing and I get none!

OP posts:
Original poster
CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 08:06

Bananasplitlady · 22/08/2023 07:58

Agree with pps, leave a note, go out. My teenager was a git on holiday so I read the riot act and she perked up by day 3, but I didn't spend days 1 and 2 hanging around for her, it was MY hard earned holiday and I was buggered if she was going to spoil it.

Exactly. It’s my hard earned holiday. I’m not putting up with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 08:07

Overthebow · 22/08/2023 08:02

Have you asked them if they want to go? If they do then they’ll have to get up for it, but they’re teenagers and may have a different idea of a holiday to you. Just get up and do what you want to do.

Show quote history

Yes, they want to go. They asked to go. Water parks aren’t my thing but I’ll go anyway sad 😢

OP posts:
PeggyPiglet · 22/08/2023 08:07

Forget about their dad. Being bitter about that will just ruin it for you.

Take control of the situation and go out and have a nice time. They're old enough to please themselves.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 22/08/2023 08:09

CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 08:05

The 15 year old girl will come with me but she often gets moody. I really can’t leave them together as the eldest can be really awful to his sister.

I do think, though, that I’ll have to go out in the mornings without him but there’s not much to do.

I’m definitely not taking him next year. He’ll going to university next month (been on a gap year) and he will be 20 in March. I know he’s going to CentreParks with his friends in January.

I’m just so annoyed that their dad gets absolutely loads of free time to do his own thing and I get none!

Show quote history

You could have left the 19 year old at home. If that’s not what you wanted and you wanted a last family holiday, well that’s what you’ve got. Holidays with a teen aren’t always very enjoyable.

im kind of intrigued as to what it’ll be like this year with my 18 year old. She’s always been great (if a little grumpy) company in the past. But she’s now had a holiday with her boyfriend, so do wonder if the different experience may change our family holiday dynamic somewhat. Anyway, she’s off to uni next month so I’m am determined to enjoy her company even if she drives me mad.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 22/08/2023 08:10

I'm sorry but it's their holiday too. No point in taking them away if you aren't going to let them enjoy it in their own way too. Tell them what you plan doing, then let them choose if they want to join in or not.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/08/2023 08:11

I’m just so annoyed that their dad gets absolutely loads of free time to do his own thing and I get none!

They’ve just gifted you a half day all to yourself and you’ve wasted it grumping around like a teen. Go out!

I would be questioning why a 20YO man is so horrible to his sister that they can’t be left alone together. That’s your issue right there!

FourTeaFallOut · 22/08/2023 08:12

You are on holiday, walk out of your apartment, take a book, enjoy the weather, walk in to town, just do your own thing and pop back in for lunch when they'll be up and then enjoy your day together. I mean, that sounds like a great day to me. 🤷 On Friday, set an alarm and frogmarch the willing onto the bus.

hdbs17 · 22/08/2023 08:13

They're 15 and 19, they don't need babysitting.

If they want to waste their holiday by sleeping in and complaining, that's their prerogative but that doesn't mean you have to sit around waiting for them.

boomtickhouse · 22/08/2023 08:18

Get another key & go out!!

If if you seriously can't leave them together you need to reflect on why an ADULT is bullying a child. DD needs to know she doesn't have to put up with that & can report his behaviour the same way as any other abusive man.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 22/08/2023 08:21

I really can’t leave them together as the eldest can be really awful to his sister.

Brothers and sister bicker but being awful to the point you can’t leave them together is a bit of a worry. If a 19 year old man is so horrid he can’t be alone with his sister then you have far bigger problems than the fact he’s staying in bed.

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