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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Day 1 of holiday with teens arrghh

101 replies

CharliesChocolateSurprise · 22/08/2023 07:50

One my own (going through a divorce) with two teens, 19 and 15. On a Greek Island for 10 nights.
Day 1 and youngest has just got up (09:45) which is fine as I had to get them up yesterday at 03:30 for the flight. Eldest got up moaning about his bed at 09:00. I made his breakfast and his has moaned constantly. He has left his cup of tea and breakfast and gone back to bed. I’m sat here waiting to go out for the day. I told him to go to bed early and get up early as some days he is in bed until 1pm!! I can’t live like that, being an early bird, and it’d wasting my holiday time and money. I’m in a stressful job at home with no help with the younger child (her dad doesn’t have her more than 2-3 hours a week nor pays any child support).

I am already wanting to go home! I hate being with teenagers now. 9 nights to go!!!!

There dad hasn’t taken them anywhere and the youngest just let slip that he’s has gone to Italy with friends while we are away!!!!

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 23/08/2023 13:21

As pretty much everyone agrees, as a single parent of teenagers on holiday, your time is your own to enjoy.

You might not be used to it but an ideal holiday can be had by a group of adults (which your teens are close to being now) on holiday together. The early birds go out early and do their thing.

Walking, exercise, coffee shops, people watching, lost in a book. Enjoy

If you are missing company, keep a look out and ask around for guided walking tours.

Arrange with your group ie teens that you will meet up for the evening meal and otherwise leave them to it.

Evening meals alone can be a tricky time. Over the meal, tell your teens how grateful you are for their company and otherwise leave them be

You will all have a much better time and be able to talk about how holidays together might work in future.

You job is to think carefully who you want to take on holiday in future.

SamW98 · 23/08/2023 13:27

I found going away with my teenage son a nice best of both worlds holiday.
I could have a nice hotel breakfast chatting to other adults, spend chilled mornings on a sun lounger headphones in then from midday he was up and out so we could have a trip out, afternoon on beach, play ball games in pool etc. Then a nice dinner together followed by whatever we chose to do that evening. A couple of taxi trips into the capital or a larger town, a bar with pool, table tennis even mini golf or maybe an hour or so where he played with his phone and I people watched with a wine or two and eventually back to the hotel bar to chat to the other people we’d got to know.

Noodles1234 · 23/08/2023 14:33

tell them you’re taking the one and only key and going out at 9am. If they want to go out they’ll have to wait till you get back to get back in the room. It’s your holiday too.

Stompythedinosaur · 23/08/2023 15:56

I think you should be negotiating not dictating to them. It's not particularly unusual to want a lie in on holiday. Ask them whether they want to come out with you and do what you want.

Honestly, your adult child can either be civil to your underage child, or leave and find their own accommodation. I'd have zero tolerance for an adult treating a child so poorly they need full-time supervision.

rookiemere · 23/08/2023 16:34

Noodles1234 · 23/08/2023 14:33

tell them you’re taking the one and only key and going out at 9am. If they want to go out they’ll have to wait till you get back to get back in the room. It’s your holiday too.

With any luck there won't be a fire !

FinallyHere · 23/08/2023 17:31

@rookiemere

Taking the key won't stop them getting out, will it? Just inconvenience them getting back in.

Noodles1234 · 23/08/2023 18:32

rookiemere · 23/08/2023 16:34

With any luck there won't be a fire !

Show quote history

I meant they can leave the room after you have gone (door unlocked from inside), but if they want to go back in they will have to wait until you return.

waterrat · 23/08/2023 22:00

Teenagers are biologically designed to sleep a lot in particular in a night owl pattern

Why can't they enjoy some long lie ins? It sounds like torture for all prodding them awake when they need and want to be sleeping.

Change your mindset and try to remember the stress of havibg little kids who wake at 6 or 7 and are super intense from that moment on

TheaBrandt · 24/08/2023 04:57

I see it as a bonus frankly. I get up and do my exercise/ visit somewhere early before the crowds. Jogged to beautiful hill top town and had a coffee yesterday. Bliss! Dh up and out cycling. Then we all meet up. Far preferable to when they were little and needed constant looking after and supervision. Don’t understand why you insist everyone has to stick to your schedule?

The brother bring unkind is an issue though that’s not on at all.

GADDay · 24/08/2023 05:04

Teenagers are by and large selfish, entitled little turds on holidays. So you may as well expect the mornings to be a no-go zone, rather than fight it.

This is why I will NEVER holiday with teens again (given I have less than ten bucks in the bank - holidays are out of the question anyway).

Leave them with their father next time and do something for yourself.

TheaBrandt · 24/08/2023 05:10

We’re having a great time with ours. Just between the hours of noon and midnight. I think calling teens “entitled shits” for having lie ins on holiday is ridiculous. Dd1 age 17 makes a point of thanking us after meals out we are having some lovely afternoons and evenings with them.

Wallywobbles · 24/08/2023 06:29

If it's just the key stopping you get another one cut.

PurplePositivity · 24/08/2023 06:43

I have teens, you need to be 'selfish' like them. You don't need to do everything together, get another key & do your own thing.

I communicate with mine through notes, gone for a walk/run/breakfast I'll be back at 11. If I text them they say the haven't seen it Hmm

It's everyone's holiday and if they want to sleep, let them & don't go with them again. But don't let it ruin your holiday.

TheaBrandt · 24/08/2023 06:48

That’s what the family WhatsApp group is for. We post on it what we are doing then it’s up to them to opt in or not and they know where we are. 100% buy in so far but only for anything after lunch!

TerrorOwls · 24/08/2023 06:54

I've just been on holiday on my own with teens.
I got up and did my own thing in the morning. I booked all our activities at 1pm except a day out where we had to be out by 7am.
They were moaning about it but I had quite a serious chat about how we're all different and we all want different things out of the holiday and sometimes we're going to have to compromise etc.
They stepped up.
So my compromise was that most days I'd do my own thing in the morning, then we all do some activities in the afternoon but we'd all get up earlier for anything that needed longer.
We had lovely calm days and lots of nice long evenings with walks, ice cream and just chatting into the night.

ThePoshUns · 24/08/2023 07:00

Your son sounds awful, I'd have left him at home.

TheaBrandt · 24/08/2023 07:38

Yes most teens though lazy on holiday (hardly crime of the century) are generally decent and nice albeit annoying. Not sure this is the case for the 19 year old here though - persistent unkindness to a much younger sibling is a different and more serious issue.

Temporaryname158 · 24/08/2023 07:51

You are using 1 key as an excuse. I feel sure you all have a phone. Go out, get them to text you when they are up and ready and go and meet them.

are you abroad? If so go and sit by the pool. If in the UK could you take the key and them lock the cottage/caravan from the inside?

Don’t give excuses make it happen.

also agreed if a grown man is being that awful to a child he needs that pointing out and sending home

morellamalessdrama · 24/08/2023 17:13

Our two DSs are 12 and 14 and when they didn't want to do something on holiday we left them for an hour or two. We had phones and a group chat to check on them.

Surely you can leave the 19 year old at the apartment?

Let them sleep in and you crack on doing stuff that you want to do.

Ameteurmum · 25/08/2023 07:35

As someone who feels in the trenches currently with three kids under 8 I can only dream of a time where everyone wants to stay in bed and I could just sit quietly and read a book or drink a drink without having to be their clown

CalMeKate · 25/08/2023 17:09

My parents separated and we always went away for 2 weeks with my Dad every summer holiday. I would have been berated if I hadn’t be up to have breakfast with him every morning and dinner with him every evening. In between times he was pretty chilled about how we spent our time either together or separately.

Hope the holiday improves!

Manthide · 26/08/2023 09:45

My parents who are in their 80s have just taken my youngest two - ds aged 20 and dd3 aged 15 away for a week to France. Luckily my two get on really well together and will follow their grandparents lead. If not I'd certainly advise them to leave the 20 year old home alone - he's just going into his 3rd year at university so I'm sure he'd be fine.

fizzypop100 · 26/08/2023 19:56

Get another key. I'm sure they have more than one ?

Lilactimes · 27/08/2023 08:24

I can feel your anger and stress.
it’s not going to help matters with the situation you’re in. Try and feel thankful you’re actually on a break/ holiday.
Get another key cut or ask for a second room card - this shouldn’t be a problem. Or hide the key somewhere outside the room so you can all get back in.
Use the mornings for you and let them sleep.
read yoga trips coffee people watching swim local shop .. whatever.
regroup over lunch or afternoon.
It’s hard to know exactly what to say but 19 and 15 yo can be left alone and a second key will let you come and go.
Hopefully some you time in the morning will give you more patience and calmness in the pm and help you have a nice time and make some nice memories.

Remmy123 · 28/08/2023 11:13

Next time book an all inc it's so much easier with teens - for now leave them at home and go and go out x

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