Teenager wants to go abroad with friends for an overnight

Summerslimtime · 09/07/2023 16:24

Depends on the 17 year old, and why just one night? Its always good to have adventures. Might give them some inspiration.

nixon1976 · 09/07/2023 16:27

Yes of course. My 17 year old has just been to Turkey with 12 of his friends for a week post A levels.

Moveoverdarlin · 09/07/2023 16:28

Nope. At 18 they can go, not a day before. Legally they are child until they turn 18.

QueSyrahSyrah · 09/07/2023 16:28

Depends on the teen and how sensible they are I suppose, our niece goes away to Spain with her friends for a week very soon and has only just turned 18. I'm sure one or two of the group won't have had their 18th birthdays yet.

Sheknowsnow · 09/07/2023 16:29

Erm, yes. I expect mine will be going on holiday with his pals at that age as I was! In fact he's told me they all plan to after 5th year. Your ds will be able to do whatever he wants come his next birthday. Move out, marry, have kids, seriously he's an adult now. You have to trust you've done your job and raised a capable human being.

Original poster

Animallover2325 · 09/07/2023 16:34

That’s just it, I worry because he is forgetful and while he is mature in many ways in others he’s more vulnerable and my worry isn’t about him heading out on his own or away, it’s the overseas bit that makes me nervous. He will be 18 soon and they have been talking about going away next year but this was literally sprung on me late last night as I was heading to bed and it’s for an event next month. He’s never flown - won’t! Always been two scared and dig his heels in every time we mentioned it, until now obviously

OP posts:

Hbh17 · 09/07/2023 16:37

He's 17...

RedHelenB · 09/07/2023 16:38

Animallover2325 · 09/07/2023 16:22

Would you allow your 17 year old to travel with two friends (one older) to Europe for a day/overnight? I don’t feel I should but want to hear others thoughts

Yes. Why wouldn't you?

Hbh17 · 09/07/2023 16:38

.... sorry posted too soon.
He's 17, he needs to start living his life so it's fantastic that he wants to do this. Please encourage him to go!

cheezncrackers · 09/07/2023 16:44

He's never flown before and now he wants to do it with two friends on what sounds like a whim? I think that would be a 'No' from me. I'm all for teens learning independence, developing a sense of responsibility and pushing themselves to be more brave, but if he's never even taken a flight with his family, due to his own fear, I can't help feeling that he is very ill-prepared for what he's proposing. Where's he planning to go? Will it cost much? I have a feeling that when it gets nearer he may bail at the last minute ...

Summerslimtime · 09/07/2023 16:46

If he normally won't fly but now wants to, I would definitely encourage that. Forgetful is fine.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 09/07/2023 16:46

At 17 my DS flew with a couple of friends to a gig in Northern Ireland; first group holiday in Spain with no accompanying 'responsible adult' just turned 18.

TBH I would probably worry about the flight if my DS had previously refused to get on an aeroplane - it might be the push he needs, but could work the other way .....

Lefteyetwitch · 09/07/2023 16:52

I went to Aiyia Napa for a week with my friends at 17.

While I'd love to say no now as aparent I wouldn't. At 17 they're grown.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 09/07/2023 16:54

Are you in a position where you or his dad could accompany him in the shortest/cheapest UK flight you can find before this to check he's OK?

QueensBees · 09/07/2023 16:55

I wouldn’t have an issue with a 17yo that is nearly 18yo.
That’s a teen who has just passed their A level right?

QueensBees · 09/07/2023 16:57

Also, if he is now feeling confortable to go on a plane with friends, I’d say it’s great! The power if friends and wanting to be in the IN crowd…

You probably won’t be with him the first time he flies, whether it’s this year or later.

Original poster

Animallover2325 · 09/07/2023 16:59

cheezncrackers · 09/07/2023 16:44

He's never flown before and now he wants to do it with two friends on what sounds like a whim? I think that would be a 'No' from me. I'm all for teens learning independence, developing a sense of responsibility and pushing themselves to be more brave, but if he's never even taken a flight with his family, due to his own fear, I can't help feeling that he is very ill-prepared for what he's proposing. Where's he planning to go? Will it cost much? I have a feeling that when it gets nearer he may bail at the last minute ...

This is exactly what I’ve been saying to him and his dad. He won’t go with us saying he’s too scared but the minute somebody else suggests something he’s off. I’m too nervous to let him go abroad right now. I absolutely allow him his independence, they’ve gone on holiday within Britain before which turned out fine but if on in the worse case anything were to go wrong over there I couldn’t get there easily. (I’m disabled) this has never ever stopped me from letting him go and do the things he wants to but he himself is extremely anxious and just won’t do stuff even when we encourage him to.

OP posts:

Greenshake · 09/07/2023 17:01

I went to Tenerife with a friend for 2 weeks when I was 17. You need to let go.

Paul2023 · 09/07/2023 17:02

There are 17 year olds who go abroad in the armed forces. There’s also 17 year olds who go abroad to boarding school.

SaveMeFromForearms · 09/07/2023 17:03

What could go so terribly wrong in one day and night?

TulipTuesday · 09/07/2023 17:05

My 17yo DS has just come back from a week in Mallorca with his mates. He’s the youngest of his friends (Aug baby) and they wanted a holiday together before they all go off to uni.

He went to Berlin for a weekend in March with his 21 yo brother which was his first ever time abroad and flying.

I was worried sick both times but he’s nearly 18 and I believed it would be great for his independence and you should be having fun at this age!

I just try not to think about the story of the prostitute accosting him in a Berlin bar and trying to get him to suck her fingers.

KittyMcKitty · 09/07/2023 17:08

My eldest went to
zante with friends at 17 and
my youngest to cyprus a month after her 17 birthday. So yes I would.it’s a part of growing up.

Westcoastwoman · 09/07/2023 17:08

No.

3WildOnes · 09/07/2023 17:12

I would be encouraging this as much as possible.

romdowa · 09/07/2023 17:14

I went to stay with a friend In Germany for a week when I was 17. Got a bus and a train for 3 hours to the airport and then flew to Germany alone.