Age appropriate clothing 15 year old girl

[Arniesleftleg]

https://www.shein.co.uk/SHEIN-priv-Cut-Out-Ruched-Tube-Bodycon-Dress-p-13205174-cat-1727.html?src_identifier=st%3D2%60sc%3Dred%20tube%20dress%60sr%3D0%60ps%3D1&src_module=search&src_tab_page_id=page_home1687795855044&mallCode=1

My daughter has just bought this, with her own money, from Shein. She loves it, DH and I don't think it's appropriate for a just turned 15 year old. Don't get me wrong, she looks stunning in it but personally I think it's more suited to an 18 year old going clubbing. And to add, I'm all for women wearing what they want but I was just hoping she'd opt for something a bit classier. Although at 15 I'm not sure I understood class. AIBU?

Also, please help on how to discuss age appropriate clothing with her. (She earns her own money and buys some of her own stuff).

Tricky. I'm with you - this is not age appropriate at all. But on trend.

Maybe tell her it's lovely but gives out certain messages and she will get unwanted attention. I'd be blunt if necessary and tell her it's just too sexual for a girl her age to be wearing.

‘Certain messages’?

I do hope you’re not going down the ‘asking for it’ route with that!

I wondered the same as you @WetBandits

That is totally unsuitable for a 15 yr old girl.

My DD is 15 and would wear that. I’m not entirely sure what ‘age appropriate clothes’ are for that age.

15yo girls are not known for being classy. You just have to ride it out. My DD is nearing 16 and is slowly coming around to what I would prefer her to wear.

I should add, mine would wear that to a party. Not shopping around town.

I would not choose to fight with a 15 year old girl over this, even though I wouldn’t be thrilled with her choosing the dress. I’d keep it all light, not criticize and let her be

It looks like the kind of dress all girls wear to parties from around that age. Where is she intending to wear it?

I also strongly disagree with the whole “gives out a certain message, looks slutty, boys will get the wrong idea” stance. It’s victim blaming pure and simple.

Unfortunately if you forbid her from wearing it she’ll do it secretly, changing in to it at a friends house or something.

@Greenshake I know! She wants to wear it to a festival, and we're trying to tell her to go more boho. She won't be leaving the house with it on for sure. She's 100% right that women should be able to wear what they want without fear of reprisal, but she's 15!

Tbh the only time in my life I could have got away with wearing that would have been when I was 15!

Tbh the only time in my life I could have got away with wearing that would have been when I was 15!

Your daughters clothing choices are not the issue, society and a lot of men are. Hopefully over the years you’ve talked to your daughter about how girls and women are sexualised and the huge problems around that as well as well as other issues women and girls have to deal with.

Teens experiment with fashion. She’s bought it, leave her to it.

Shein is pretty awful ethically though. A lot of teens I know wouldn’t purchase from there because of that.

@playingdevilsavocado I can't argue with her, she's always right! 😜 I have said she will need to find something more suitable to wear.

A thousand times this. The internalised misogyny I’ve seen on this forum recently has been staggering.

OP, my DD is a bit younger than yours but I’ve had to have a conversation with her about age appropriate clothes, namely bikinis. She bought some tanga style bikinis, basically the ones that look like nappies/pouch things that you can narrow as much as you like. I think they are for 18+ year olds going off on their first holiday with their mates, not for year nines.
I told her that although she should be able to wear anything and as little she likes with no hassle whatsoever, as her mum I do not feel that she is ready nor mature enough to handle the unwanted and unwarranted attention she would get from men in those kind of bikinis. She already has grown men looking at her when fully dressed and I want to punch each and every one of them all in the face.

@Arniesleftleg if she’s planning to wear to a festival I would come at it from a practical angle. If she’s in a mosh pit it’s very likely the top will come down! A lot of girls wear little tops and skorts to festivals rather than dresses. That’s deffo more of a party dress!

She won't look like that in it though will she - because she's 15. It's no different I guess to wearing a crop top. I would let it go as she has chosen it but talk to her generally to give her confidence and tips for deflecting unwanted attention.

@HandInMine absolutely we have. As I said to another poster, I'm 100% with her that women should be able to wear what they want, but I just think that this tiny piece of material is more suited to someone older and wiser.

Also this - have you checked out the review pictures @Arniesleftleg? It looks a lot more understated when not modelled by a Kim K type person

I think people are misunderstanding the 'certain messages' post.

OF BLOODY COURSE. It's the blokes fault if he makes any judgement on the dress and the person inside it. Doesn't stop them doing it though, does it?

I used to wear some right old shockers when I was that age (but much more old man/lady charity shop suits etc) but when I got ready to go out my mum always, always said "you look lovely sweetheart, have a good time". I follow this with my own teenagers. I think it's far better to let them have their own head with what they want to wear because if you say 'no' they'll wear it anyway. Also, you can only find your own 'style' if you try different things and experiment. Your DD may just wear it once or wear it until it drops off her.

@ThreeCheersForAbbie she looks like that in it! She's got an incredible figure and I know whats why she's wants to wear it, to show off, I get that. She's very clued up on deflecting the unwanted attention and has the skills to defend herself should she need to but I just don't want it to to come to that. It's just so hard to know what to say and do. I'm half expecting what we've said to sink in and that it'll be parcelled up ready for return by tomorrow!

I saw photos from the festival my son went to last year with friends. The girls seemed to wear vest tops/bikini tops/crop tops with skirts/shorts/cargo trousers so I agree it’s not really for a festival, no straps are not great for dancing. You can only advise those, then leave her to it.

I definitely think wearing bandeau style tops/dresses to a festival where it is going to be immensely crowded is a big mistake. You need something with straps. And if she’s planning on going on someone’s shoulders then dresses are a total pain. Most girls don’t wear dresses at festivals. They wear little shorts or skorts.

@FfeminyddCymraeg maybe I just do need to ride it out and let her get bored. She's got great taste in clothes usually, although they usually belong to me! 🤣