Age appropriate clothing 15 year old girl

[Arniesleftleg]

https://www.shein.co.uk/SHEIN-priv-Cut-Out-Ruched-Tube-Bodycon-Dress-p-13205174-cat-1727.html?src_identifier=st%3D2%60sc%3Dred%20tube%20dress%60sr%3D0%60ps%3D1&src_module=search&src_tab_page_id=page_home1687795855044&mallCode=1

My daughter has just bought this, with her own money, from Shein. She loves it, DH and I don't think it's appropriate for a just turned 15 year old. Don't get me wrong, she looks stunning in it but personally I think it's more suited to an 18 year old going clubbing. And to add, I'm all for women wearing what they want but I was just hoping she'd opt for something a bit classier. Although at 15 I'm not sure I understood class. AIBU?

Also, please help on how to discuss age appropriate clothing with her. (She earns her own money and buys some of her own stuff).

I think it's fine for a 15 year old to wear, but impractical for a festival.

I would shrug my shoulders to be honest. I would be having a conversation about the ethics of a £6.50 dress though - and from Shein
’Inside the Shein Machine: UNTOLD'? Watch it here on Channel 4:
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/inside-the-shein-machine-untold?cntsrc=social_share_ios_inside_the_shein_machine_untold

Where would a 15 year old go to wear that?

I imagine over 18s would wear it to a club?

Just seen it’s for a festival.
I think it would be fine. They wear short, shorts and string bikini tops so she will be more covered up than a lot of people! I’d make sure that she wore big gym type knickers though incase if any accidental flashing.

Clothing does send a message. Not just girl clothes. A teen boy with his pants around his knees also sends a message. Teens like attention and they are a mix of fitting in and standing out. Many teens are starting to be sexually attracted to others and clothes are one way to signal or draw attention, bit of a mating ritual.

We just say it isn’t appropriate.

@Freefall212
I agree with you regarding boys trousers up to their knees not being a good look.
I say the same thing to my daughter as well as son.
It's funny how teen DD finds its eugh/gross when her brother's pants or showing or when dad is shirtless having forgot something to the bathroom.

Clothing does send a message. Not just girl clothes. A teen boy with his pants around his knees also sends a message. Teens like attention and they are a mix of fitting in and standing out. Many teens are starting to be sexually attracted to others and clothes are one way to signal or draw attention, bit of a mating ritual.
Agree with this.
It's not a coincidence that teens start dressing in a way that's known to appeal to whichever sex they're interested in.

My 14 yr old ds says she wouldn't wear it - a robe dress us fine but all the cut out bits take it over the edge.

Really difficult.

My youngest dd is 16 and also favours very revealing clothing - low cut tops, very short skirts etc. I’m not happy about it but so far haven’t said anything. She has an allowance for clothing because I got fed up with her asking me for money for clothes. She has a set amount which teaches her to budget, but the downside is she can buy what she likes!

I often discuss the issue with my (mature sensible) middle dd who’s 20. She’s of the opinion that women should be able to wear what they like without judgment. But unfortunately human beings DO judge people on what they’re wearing.

Part of me thinks that having the confidence to wear something like that is a good thing. There are so many teen girls with eating disorders and/or poor body image who hide away and wear big baggy hoodies. You have to be so careful what you say, I wouldn’t want my dd to get a complex about her body.

I think it’s fine op.

But it does send messages? Even though it's wrong it does. And then the other question is why is this dress chosen in the first place? I agree re she'll probably just wear it anyway, but it is worth talking to her about clothes and messages they send, because that is the world we live in.

Make sure she understands that stuff like this will turn the heads of more than just her peer group. Like some 30, 40, 50, 60 year old men (!). You just don't realise this stuff when you're 15.
And while girls and women should be able to wear what they want without hassle, the reality can be different.

It's only right that she understands that and how to deal with any unwanted attention and situations in life (regardless of what she's wearing).

This

Hurray!! 😂

It's not mutually exclusive to think your clothes send a message but then it's still not the woman's (or girl's) fault if she is assaulted or raped. It's like saying, of course it's wrong for your house to be burgled but also take precautions. A bikini would be more revealing than this dress and I would be fine with my teen wearing one on the beach or at the pool. This dress I wouldn't be ok with her wearing because the context is different. It's not her body that is a problem, it's the way and the context in which she's been brainwashed to display it for men's titillation and benefit.
The message that you can wear whatever you want otherwise it's misogyny doesn't reflect reality and I don't want to endanger my daughter unnecessarily just to prove a theoretical feminist idea. Anyway why can't it be the other way round? wearing objectifying clothes for the male gaze that look like they belong to a porn set is the real misogyny. Men and boys are in sensible, comfortable shoes and clothes that they can move and run in meanwhile our teen girls and young women are bombarded with messages in the media that it's feminist to dress like this and that you can wear whatever you like - total nonsense. I wish it were true but reality is that what you wear isn't without consequences, rightly or wrongly.

I think, of course clothes do send a message. If they don't why does anyone bother to wear a suit for a job interview? People express themselves through their clothes.
The problem is some men might see a girl wearing a dress like this and think "She wants to have sex". Now OF COURSE it's the men's fault for thinking like this. They shouldn't make these assumptions.
I would see a girl in that dress and think "She wants to look sexy" not that she's looking for sex. There's a big difference between the two but some men are too dim to realise.

What does it look like in reality

The pictures dont look real. They look very filtered/airbrushed

Has the item arrived?

It's awful. I wouldn't want my 15 year old to wear it

I was clubbing at 15 but i dont think teens get away with nowadays. Where's she going to wear that, the cinema?

Do you know any 15 year olds? DD1 14 and 5'10" - she would look exactly like the model in it. I would tackle it with the practicality/what will other people be wearing angle. Glad she has chosen something more practical.

She’s on a learning journey to understanding how her body has a very powerful effect on boys and men.

I think if she were my daughter I’d have said no to probably 90% of decisions that were made before we got to this dress being purchased 🤣. But I don’t have any daughters and didn’t have the figure for this dress when I was young.

i think all you can do at this point is hope she teams the dress with a baggy hoody and some wellies and keep your fingers crossed.

No way would my 15 year old wear that, I don't care if its misogynistic. Completely inappropriate.

I know you've said she's now opted for something else, but I'm sure we all said that at some point then changed into our original choice around the corner... Is there time to order yourself one with the aim of making it deeply uncool? Start with wearing it to cook dinner/mow the lawn, ideally when her friends are round. You won't easily convince her not to wear it with logic, so I'd go for making it deeply uncool.

Too much fabric in it for my DD15!

My 15yo is a fan of the ‘Lycra dress with bits cut out’ look at the moment. I go down the route of “you’ll be cold” or “will it be comfortable?” Tbh although a lot of teens wear dresses like that, they tend to wear them with trainers and a massive hoody so it kind of dilutes the effect. I tell myself it’s just a fashion and think of my mum tearing her hair out at my mini skirts with stripy tights and doc martens!

A child can’t ‘sexualise’ themselves. What a sick thing to say.

Could she wear a sheer tshirt over the top? It wouldnt cover much but just feels more festivally and younger.