Age appropriate clothing 15 year old girl

[Arniesleftleg]

https://www.shein.co.uk/SHEIN-priv-Cut-Out-Ruched-Tube-Bodycon-Dress-p-13205174-cat-1727.html?src_identifier=st%3D2%60sc%3Dred%20tube%20dress%60sr%3D0%60ps%3D1&src_module=search&src_tab_page_id=page_home1687795855044&mallCode=1

My daughter has just bought this, with her own money, from Shein. She loves it, DH and I don't think it's appropriate for a just turned 15 year old. Don't get me wrong, she looks stunning in it but personally I think it's more suited to an 18 year old going clubbing. And to add, I'm all for women wearing what they want but I was just hoping she'd opt for something a bit classier. Although at 15 I'm not sure I understood class. AIBU?

Also, please help on how to discuss age appropriate clothing with her. (She earns her own money and buys some of her own stuff).

Is it any different from wearing denim cutoffs and a crop top?
This wouldn’t bother me, youngsters like to experiment with fashion. In a couple of years she’ll probably be into baggy trousers etc.

Gosh, £6.50?! I dread to think about the conditions in the factories where that dress was made
OP having looked at the review photos, it's the kind of thing I see mid-teen girls wearing all the time. Yes it's revealing, but it's not that much more revealing than the current uniform of crop top and cycle shorts. With some cool jewellery she'll fit right in at a music festival, sorry!

Are you ok with young girls being perved over when dressed in next to nothing? Because it’s bad enough when men show “unwanted attention” regardless as to what you’re wearing.
As an older woman, I do worry at the sight of some girls because I know what boys / men are like from experience. At 15, they’re too young to be able to deal with that so until the misogynistic behaviour of males changes. No where in that do I think the girls are “asking for it”.

I actually think that if she's wearing it with a pair of trainers it's absolutely fine. With high heels, false eyelashes and fake tan not so much

@Userengage Thank you for this. This exactly what I want to relay to her. It all gets a bit muddled when we're trying to explain why it's not appropriate.

It’s honestly the best tactic so far. I will suggest alternatives and it’s 50/50 whether she will go with them but she’s been through so many ‘phases’ that this one will also pass.

My least favourite phase was the emo one - washing endless black, oversized hoodies was the bane of my life. She’s slowly entering the ‘cutesy’ phase - ruffle skirts and crocheted tops. Much better!

@theoddoneasalways the worry is that someone will pull it down. At least with her array of crop tops with sleeves, that's less likely at a festival.

With high heels, false eyelashes and fake tan not so much

I hardly ever see anyone in heels now, ever. Definitely not at festivals. 😅

@Rollergirl11 I did tell her that I'd get straps put on it. In my head, it's a bit better with straps, although I'm just appeasing myself! I have told her someone could pull it down, she rolled her eyes the way teens do best 😵‍💫

It would depend on how it looked on my dd

They all wear this type of thing

Not during the day walking around the shops etc

but sometimes in the evening when they get dressed up a bit more

I wouldn't tell her it sends any messages. I would tell her that showing off her body to that extent will absolutely attract potentially unwanted attention from men.

As my DD16 would say 'it's just a dress it's really not that deep'

@HappiDaze this made us howl. This is her exact response to most things 🤣

@FfeminyddCymraeg we're still very much in the hoodie phase, they're endless!

I did tell her that I'd get straps put on it. In my head, it's a bit better with straps, although I'm just appeasing myself! I have told her someone could pull it down, she rolled her eyes the way teens do best 😵‍💫

DD went to Reading festival last year and a few London day festivals when she was 16. Literally nobody wears dresses like that. It’s all bikini tops/cut out tops and little shorts. Someone will pull it down or it will get yanked sideways in the crowds. How does she expect to dance/jump up and down in it?

There is no way I would my 15 year old daughter wearing the things I used to wear at that age! I would just let her crack on and cringe later.

For a festival it is totally impractical though. Maybe try pointing out that she has nowhere to put her phone and bank card. I used to wear bikini tops to festivals and always made sure that strings were double tied, as some arsehole would invariably pull to see if it would come undone. That's another thing to warn her about with something that would.ckme down so easily

It wouldn't be too bad with chunky trainers and a hoodie!

I do think it would be better with straps but I would probably let her wear it.

exactly which is why I think it's fine

Pick your battles- it’s a dress. The only thing inappropriate is her actions if she’s doing anything illegal and other’s opinions on it being sexual, she’s finding out about herself and exploring what kind of look she wants, she’s young, having fun and going to a festival, I can’t blame her for wanting to look a little grown up for a special occasion.

She’ll learn in time she can look and feel good without showing every limb, nook and cranny off 😅

Surely she will be going with friends and one of the more sensible girls will advise against her wearing it.

@Arniesleftleg what did you wear when you were a teenager?

i certainly wore v short skirts and revealing things at that age.

i remember wanting to be seen, wanting to be attractive wanting / hoping the boys I liked would fancy me.

my mum talked to me about ‘giving off the wrong messages’ but not about how it’s normal to want to be attractive and to start to seek romantic and sexual relationships.

now I’m mid 40s I can see how the patriarchy leans in to teen girls wanting to be seen as sexually attractive beings in an exploitative way.

With my mid life experience I think the fashions sold don’t serve them, but when I was 15 I wanted to buy and wear them.

it’s complicated.

i think I’d say it’s fine for a party with friends a similar age, but not at an open public event like a festival?

I don't think it's really a festival sort of dress.
It's hard. I wouldn't want my 15 year old wearing it simply because it's a very sexy dress - and I wouldn't want my 15 year old to look so sexy!
I'm probably not the best judge. I have never, ever worn clothes like that. At 15 I was just in to band shirts, black jeans and DMs. I remember at the time being taken aback by clothes my friends wore (hot pants and bras for example).

She's decided to go with cut off jeans a body suit and her converse. Much more festivalish! (if thats a word). I dare say the dress will make an appearance another day.

By 'certain messages' I mean that a child is making herself appear sexualised. Of course women can wear whatever they want. It's different for children.