Appropriate bedtime for an 11/12 year old (year 7)

[Unhappymumma]

My son (as many others do too) is pushing back at us about his bedtime. We ask him to come off devices at 9.30 and asleep at 10 pm a school night which I think a good time.
To give him his due, all of the boys he plays with online stay on much longer and he is always the first to come off. He's telling me they are allowed to stay up until 11.30/midnight on a school night!!!
Now this will not be happening in our house regardless, but I've told him I'm going to ask other parents as according to him we are mean, strict, boring, and are the only ones doing this.
I would like to show him the responses. Thank you 😁

Dd (12) during holidays is up later but normally she goes upstairs between 9-930. She's usually asleep just after 10, I don't tell her when to be asleep by because then she gets stressed about it and doesn't sleep.

Y7 bedtime for us was 2045 school
nights, 2100 weekends and holidays. Bedtimes quarter of an hour later every school year until about Y10 where I give up and just ask them to be quiet after 2200.

A/ how does private prep school mean all parents will have the same rules?

B/ lots of homes don't have a strong masculine presence whatever that means. Kids questioning boundaries is normal

I would like DD in bed by 9 lights out at 9.30 but it is usually 10 by the time she drags it out as she thinks 10 is fine. Weekends and holidays she can do what she likes unless we are going somewhere the next morning or a run of late nights leave her crabby and unreasonable