My 14 year old came out as bisexual a couple of years back. No biggie - I think she was mildly disappointed that her announcement didn’t provoke anything more than an ‘ok that’s fine’ from us. She has just ended a 9 month relationship with a boy. It became toxic and draining and her mental health suffered greatly.
she has been friends with a kid - let’s call the kid Stephen - since primary. For about a year they’ve been close friends as Stephen was part of the friendship group that involved the ex boyfriend. However, in July, Stephen told my dd that they were trans and wishes to be Stephanie. Has known since they were a child etc. only my dd and one other friend know about this.
so let’s now call her Stephanie. Stephanie is still male presenting - mainly because mum and dad have no clue about any of this. It doesn’t help I’m friends with Stephanie’s mum. Not close friends but we text occasionally, have a coffee once in a while etc.
stephanie came over last night…and asked my DD out on a date. She said yes. I’m so worried as she is literally just out of this other relationship, the ex is still pining for her and threatening self-harm/ suicide (she’s blocked him now as she couldn’t deal with it). She’s in therapy herself after having a breakdown so is very fragile. I’m worried that her getting into a relationship with someone who is a good friend isn’t a great idea as when these things end, the friendship tends to as well. Also knowing that Stephanie has a lot of things to contend with, I know that the road ahead could be fraught with more stress and heartache. And yes I’m concerned about the trans aspect - I like the kid - they’re painfully shy but very sweet and well mannered. I think I’d be less worried if they’d already transitioned and were presenting as the gender they felt most comfortable as. But knowing that a transition may or may not be looming in the not too distant future is a worry. It doesn’t seem to bother dd in the slightest and from a relationship point of view I genuinely just want her to be happy - with a man or a woman - it makes no difference. But I just worry about all the complications ahead. I’ve not told dh yet. He is very open minded and will be way more concerned that dd is jumping into something so soon and when she is so fragile. WTF do I do. Genuinely don’t know how to handle this one. I don’t want to come between what is a genuinely nice friendship. They’re so alike. Toys bookworms, focussed on their studies, quite introverted. It could work out but I just want to protect her as much as I can without wrapping her in cotton wool.