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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Does one buy one's teenage son condoms... or not?

116 replies

PooperScoop · 01/02/2008 13:49

Namechanged to protect the (hopefully still) innocent (that'll be DS )

He is nearly 16. He has a largish group of male and female friends from school. I know he has "been out with" at least one of them (a girl!) although doubt much has gone on but for snogging etc.

Now he is starting to get a bit more of a social life outside of school, with the same crowd. They're all nice kids and I like them. However, despite me not being allowed to know much these days, he has told me that he likes one of his female friends and the feeling is allegedly mutual.

I am aware that sex could happen at some stage soon.

DS, although popular and hangs with a "popular crowd" would never have the confidence to buy condoms; I would bet money on it. I know I don't know everything but I'm pretty sure of that.

But shouldn't he be in possession of some, just in case? Particularly as he is a young year 11 and most of his female friends are 16 already!

He would be mortified if I bought some and presented them to him though! And I certainly don't want to be seen to be condoning casual sex or anything of the kind. Nor rushing him into anything! But should it happen, I don't want it to, in the heat of the moment, without him using one. (He knows he needs to etc etc but doesn't take kindly to the sort of chats where I remind him of such things!)

What do people (well parents in my position) do?

OP posts:
rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:19

Wisteria

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:19

hello

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:21
rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:22

Am still coming to terms with that parenting thing!

chenin · 01/02/2008 21:25

twelveyeargap... interesting that you say you positively squirmed when your parents tried to talk about anything iffy with you. It was exactly the same for me... my mother would blush, I would get uncomfortable and die a thousand deaths inside.

However, it has made me be very comfortable about speaking to my DCs about anything like that cos I vowed to myself I would not put myself through those awful embarrassments I suffered. I think your idea what to say is totally spot on... exactly the same as I would say and have said.. with an embarrassing joke thrown in at the end (unfortunately for my DC's!)

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:28

well I was an immaculate conception because sex was 'the devil's work' - a reputation that I well and truly honoured during my teenage years

rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:30

I blame the music myself. All those rhythms!

twelveyeargap · 01/02/2008 21:33

My mother couldn't understand how I wasn't already on the pill when I got pregnant at 16 with DD1. She said, "But I told you to go to the doctor".

"Er, when you said to go to the doctor I had a sore throat, and I was 15." (At the time in Ireland we'd only just had condoms made fully "legal" and you had to lie about your age and say you were 16 if you went to the family planning clinic). Plus, the doctor was male, ANCIENT and had been our doctor since I was a baby. I mean, come on!

She thought a vague reference was enough. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her, it was my responsibility.

Mind you, DD1 happened due to condom breaking and then the morning after pill not working, so I was hardly taking risks.

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:34

yes but what a good excuse for my wayward leanings!

I blame Morrissey

twelveyeargap · 01/02/2008 21:35

Jaysus, I've heard Morrissey blamed for a lot of things, but that's a new one!

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:38

I think I can blame him for nearly everything if I think hard enough

rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:38

Moz has a lot to answer for!

Loshad · 01/02/2008 21:39

I'd definately go for the condom drawer - know planty of people who have used it to good effect. Packets need to be opened so just individual condoms in there, and i intend to go down that route myself in a year or two (please let it be that long ds1 is 14)

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:40

yes but we still lurve him and his wilting gladioli.....

rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:41

Yep a lot of gardens were pillaged in the pursuit of gladioli!

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:42

unfortunately my dd1 has ignored all my efforts to educate her musically and is more likely to blame 50cent for her indiscretions which does actually scare the beejaysus out of me!

Dd2 is showing promise though thank god - at least one of them will be coming to gigs with me

rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:43

Dh has grown out of his 27 and a half pence phase and now he has black hair and thinks he's Marilyn Manson

rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:43

meant ds!

Original poster
PooperScoop · 01/02/2008 21:44

Is he the bloke with the droney voice and a small tree sticking out of his back pocket? (I wasn't I fan... )

(No sit sherlock! )

OP posts:
twelveyeargap · 01/02/2008 21:44

Am I really evil, that I wouldn't be able to resist counting them, if I had a condom drawer?

Original poster
PooperScoop · 01/02/2008 21:46

shit not sit.

Yes, the counting them issue had occurred to me. I am not good like that. I have to force myself not to look at his phone. (I don't.. but sometimes I want to because he tells me so little).

OP posts:
rantinghousewife · 01/02/2008 21:46

Ps, yes, that's him.
Glad you're back. Hope you're feeling not so put upon.

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:48

to be honest 12yr - if I counted them and some were missing I think I would feel proud of myself for safeguarding my realm of parenthood as opposed to grandparenthood

Wisteria · 01/02/2008 21:50

you're secretly proud of his indie-dom tho' aren't you rant?

PS - I'm listening to the back of love

Original poster
PooperScoop · 01/02/2008 21:51

Yes you could be feel all proud and good-motherish, entirely ignorant to the fact that he has taken several to school, made water bombs with them to the throw at girls with his mates, at break time, in the typical "regress to age 10" mode that all males from 15-50 suffer from, and was currently in detention while you assumed he was out having safe-sex with his girlfriend

OP posts:
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