Son has spent all his birthday money on fried chicken and doughnuts

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My 13yo confessed earlier that he's been taking his bank card out each day and has been buying sweets, drinks, fried chicken etc for him and his friends for the last few weeks. Only today he ran out of money.
He's spent about £150. We had no idea.
I thought DH would be really cross when I told him, but he just sighed and said that it's a lesson he needed to learn.
I had no clue he was even taking his bank card out. He's only had it a couple of months so was clearly giddy on his riches. Idiot!

Please tell me that other kids have done this? Im a mixture of cross, sad for him, and quite bemused right now.

I’m constantly amazed that so many younger members here seem to have forgotten what it’s like to be 13.
Im 76 but I can still relate to being that age. I would have done much the same.

And grim chewy balls of disappointment.

Sounds like a badly thought out sexual kink 😂

Hahahaha what a legend. You'll all laugh about it. Don't worry, at least you don't have to worry about him being a stingy guy.

I don’t understand why a child/teen has free use of a bank card even if it’s their money. Birthday money should be held in a parent-monitored account - yes, even if they’re teens until they’ve shown the maturity to be given full access.

It’s like giving a toddler access to a table-ful of chocolate cake and then saying they’ve learnt their lesson when they’re sick. Surely the idea is to guide them until you’re confident they’ve reached maturity to do something?

When I was a teen, my mum leant me her bank card to draw out cash on a trip into town (cash for myself). But she never did that for my sibling at the same age - because she rightly judged they didn’t have the maturity not to withdraw a big amount of money and fritter it away.

*leant=lent

Good for him. It's a life lesson and one every child probably needs to experience. Better to learn at 13 than 30.

A guy in the first term of uni blew his entire first student loan installment on CDs and tech. Don't know how he got through to the next payment without starving! He didn't do it again.

Me!

My first wages I spent it all at the pub underage. It was a shit job on apprenticeship wage 🤣🤣🤣.

At 18 I went off to university with a credit card my father had gotten me for emergencies. My "emergencies" included Thursday night two-for-one Black Russians for me and my best friend (best craic ever and still best friends 25yrs later). The pub we drank in had a minimum IR£30 spend for credit card purchases, and I ran up credit debts of IR£1,5k in no time. For some reason the whole concept of repaying the credit card evaded me, and I didn't realise I'd get in deep shit if I didn't pay it back! I ended up on a payment plan with the bank but never messed around with money again. Lesson learned!

Better to learn this lesson now with just £150 in the bank. One of my dcs inherited about £10k a couple of years ago, aged 18, and has blown it all on little bits and pieces - cafes, nights out, cheap throwaway clothes, etc. Nothing at all to show for the money, not even a nice holiday or any clothes that will last.

It's not a horrible post at all. Trying to buy friendships is a real thing that many children go through - either as the buyer or the receiver. You can't buy friendships, not real ones; that's also a lesson that needs to be learned. Friendship, like relationships, operates on a fine barometer.

I too would be disappointed in my child if they allowed a friend to keep buying for them with them buying nothing for that friend in return. What sort of parent would be ok with that?

Last year, my then 14 year old berated me for ''allowing'' her to spend over £100 on Deliveroo, ordering Bubble Tea...

@WednesdayFridayAddams - it automatically transfers to his name on his 18th birthday so you'll no longer have control over that. May be time to start trying to support him with financial literacy.

This made me lol Teenage boys are something else! Hopefully he's learned his lesson & won't repeat but you never know with them - if that's the worst he's doing your lucky to have such a kind son 🙂

For safety and to get them used to using a bank account.

DD has a child account with Metrobank - she gets a debit card with it, but it doesn't allow you to get overdrawn.

We pay her pocket money into it every week, and I'll add money occasionally if she's picks things up from the supermarket for me, or if she's going to a weekend sleepover with friends.

She travels into London by train for school and it's nice to know that if she got stuck, I could always transfer enough to make sure she was safe and could get home.

Metrobank have a parent app so you can log in and and see what they are spending and where. Has been very useful to catch DD early in developing bad habits and demonstrate what popping into Starbucks after school costs over a week. If she had cash, I wouldn't have a clue what she was up to.

DD has savings accounts that she cannot touch - it's money she's earned through a professional career and is subject to call in at anytime by the council. She can see the total, and knows just how hard she worked over many years to earn it so that has helped her understand the value of cash to an extent.

She also has a CTF account that we have no intention of telling her about. Once she's 18, we'll either intercept the letter, or (if she seems sensible) we'll make sure she transfers it all into something where she can't actually spend it until she's a lot older.

Is it actually linked to his savings account? I think that's completely your fault that the money is gone tbh. Crazy. Dd is 12 and has a Revolut card. Its not linked to a bank account and I just top up however much she needs. There's no monthly fee. Gets them used to budgeting,using bank cards etc but with no chance she'll blow all her savings on something stupid or succumb to pressure from mates to buy them stuff.

We had no idea he was taking it out with him. That was no the plan!

I’m not sure why you’re upset. It was his money now it’s gone.

Good.
It's a life lesson. Hopefully one he learns from.
Pick a decent ISA for him and put any "gift" money in that.
Cars and insurance aren't cheap, never mind lessons...so when he wants his freedom he's a deposit at least.
Poor lad. He must feel awful. 🍫

Do you have to chew the blobs? I’ve never understood how they’re not a massive choking hazard.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow - She also has a CTF account that we have no intention of telling her about. Once she's 18, we'll either intercept the letter, or (if she seems sensible) we'll make sure she transfers it all into something where she can't actually spend it until she's a lot older.

That's not going to work. From the age of 16 they can contact HMRC to find out where there Child Trust Fund is. The just provide their NI number and fill out an online form. And from the age of 18 it's theirs. You cannot control it.

Her friends will be talking about CTFs so it's unreasonable to expect that she won't be curious and won't look it up. I really suggest you start thinking about improving her financial literacy because it won't be under your control and you can't make sure of anything she does with it or when she chooses to spend it, or what on. It's her money. It would be horrible for it all to be frittered away.

Um everybody!

Ugh. Thanks for the heads up on that. I can't help thinking it would have been more sensible to have 25 as the age on it rather than 18.

Grandparents and other relatives have paid into that since she was born so I suspect it will be the kind of sum that you absolutely don't want an 18 year old getting their paws on.

She's after a potentially precarious career so is pretty likely to appreciate that she may need a nest egg in the future if things don't go to plan, so I will get DH to come up with some kind of plan where we can protect it for her.

She'll get access to her earnings at 18 so will have some money to spend unwisely and while I'll be sad if she completely fritters it away, she did earn it in the first place.

The legendary winter of chicken largesse

😂😂😂