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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Son has spent all his birthday money on fried chicken and doughnuts

193 replies

unpocamasporfavor · 05/12/2022 23:48

My 13yo confessed earlier that he's been taking his bank card out each day and has been buying sweets, drinks, fried chicken etc for him and his friends for the last few weeks. Only today he ran out of money.
He's spent about £150. We had no idea.
I thought DH would be really cross when I told him, but he just sighed and said that it's a lesson he needed to learn.
I had no clue he was even taking his bank card out. He's only had it a couple of months so was clearly giddy on his riches. Idiot!

Please tell me that other kids have done this? Im a mixture of cross, sad for him, and quite bemused right now.

OP posts:
tunnocksreturns2019 · 06/12/2022 21:58

Hellocatshome · 06/12/2022 21:39

Anybody who wants their child to learn about running a bank account but doesn't want to pay a monthly fee for a Go Henry type card. What age do you think is suitable for a bank card?

Show quote history

Yes, my 11 and 13 year olds both have Nationwide debit cards and it’s working really well. They get a small amount of pocket money by direct debit weekly, plus birthday or Christmas money from relatives. Great to learn money lessons with small amounts when young.

Cas112 · 06/12/2022 22:00

1994girl · 06/12/2022 21:34

Who gives their 13 ysar old a bank card?

It's quite the norm now

EarringsandLipstick · 06/12/2022 22:00

Cuppasoupmonster · 06/12/2022 21:53

@EarringsandLipstick but it’s his money Confused and it will be a lesson learned when he wants something bigger but doesn’t have the cash for it.

Yes I see that POV too but it's not one I share.

I expect my DC to be responsible - I'd be really disappointed if they wasted money like that. We need that money (Christmas, birthdays etc) to go towards stuff they need).

When they are older & independent, fine if they learn hard lessons with their - properly - own money.

(A relevant point is my ex was a financial nightmare that spent every penny he got his hands on & created so many difficulties for us so it is a sensitive issue for me)

AlwaysLatte · 06/12/2022 22:01

Who gives their 13 ysar old a bank card?
Most people these days, surely - especially now certain places don't take cash. We just make sure the money on there is their allowance for that purpose. They know their savings accounts are for house deposits so not to be touched not just when they are 18 but when they are ready to buy a house. If you don't want them to spend it, put it in a long term savings account.

Cuppasoupmonster · 06/12/2022 22:03

EarringsandLipstick · 06/12/2022 22:00

Yes I see that POV too but it's not one I share.

I expect my DC to be responsible - I'd be really disappointed if they wasted money like that. We need that money (Christmas, birthdays etc) to go towards stuff they need).

When they are older & independent, fine if they learn hard lessons with their - properly - own money.

(A relevant point is my ex was a financial nightmare that spent every penny he got his hands on & created so many difficulties for us so it is a sensitive issue for me)

Show quote history

Surely it’s better for them to learn when they don’t have financial responsibilities for housing, food etc than later on?

BigFatLiar · 06/12/2022 22:03

Better now than when he goes to college and blows his money in the bar.

How many on here when they were younger and got paid went out clubbing with friends spending. That's what it's for enjoy the money, snacks with friends, nights out, holidays, all things that people enjoy but only leave memories.

He'll learn to make better choices.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/12/2022 22:04

Surely it’s better for them to learn when they don’t have financial responsibilities for housing, food etc than later on?

You could be right!

I just know I'd feel disappointed in the moment. I'm not sure would it translate ie will they learn the lesson?

But you might be right!

Liz1tummypain · 06/12/2022 22:05

You can't take it with you!

Knackeredmommy · 06/12/2022 22:06

Well! Lesson learned, my DD is 14 & would do the same, I'm holding out giving her a card as she is terrible with money and si it helps her budget. My DS is the opposite and budgets really well. Can you just put a set amount in his account each month, then when it's gone, it's gone.

gggrrrargh · 06/12/2022 22:06

Ah, I remember getting a bank card with £400 in it about age 13 and me and my best friend getting through it ridiculously quick. Nothing to show for it!

i’m very sensible with money now :)

HadEnoughOfBears · 06/12/2022 22:09

1994girl · 06/12/2022 21:34

Who gives their 13 ysar old a bank card?

Who doesn't?

Someo · 06/12/2022 22:11

Ahh his reminds me of my nephew. He'd use his birthday money on meal deals all the time. 🙈

BasiliskStare · 06/12/2022 22:13

Friend of mine ' s son spent a whole lot of money on gaming things. It was a junior bank card. When he wanted something they did not pay for it because he had spent all his money somewhat thoughtlessly.

I do think a mistake like this can teach young people a lesson re money & as PPs have said probably cheaper than later on in life.

allthelittlelights · 06/12/2022 22:13

13 year old boys eating fried chicken/kebabs/McDonalds, unfortunately exactly what they do!

marrymeadam · 06/12/2022 22:16

My 12 year old has a bank card. I think it's perfectly normal. She spends her birthday money on what she wants but once it's wasted that's it. I'm not going to keep topping it up. Also I bloody love bubble tea. I would spend way too much on it if I could. My DP has bought my older DD a bubble tea kit for Christmas. I hope I get to have some!

Iliketeaagain · 06/12/2022 22:16

My dd has had an under 18 Revolut card for a while now - her pocket money goes in there, and family send money to my bank account so I can transfer it to her. It makes sense to me - she can see the money in her app, has a separate savings goal for herself and chose a whether she moves some from that savings account if she wants to buy herself something.

I think it teaches her that a card is real money - so many people of my generation seemed to find that difficult when we first got bank cards / credit cards - it was really easy to overspend because it was on a card. This way, she can learn before she gets to adulthood to use the technology available to keep an eye on what she spends, to know what she's spending on etc. and it's her own pocket money / birthday money, so if she spends it all on rubbish, it's her own doing.

PriamFarrl · 06/12/2022 22:20

I think that’s a lesson learned.

When I was a little older I spent so much money on things for my useless boyfriend. Soon learned.

(as an aside, people using Revolut, be aware that it isn’t a bank and therefore you don’t have any of the protection that a bank would offer.)

Spiderboy · 06/12/2022 22:20

I did similar at that age…. Took all my birthday money to the funfair and spent the lot on me and a friend. I still cringe when I think about it😆 hard lesson learned

SpidaMama · 06/12/2022 22:23

I did this back in the 90s 😂

Spent all my money on sweets, cds and a shaun the sheep bag

Oops

Bagzzz · 06/12/2022 22:24

EarringsandLipstick · 06/12/2022 22:00

Yes I see that POV too but it's not one I share.

I expect my DC to be responsible - I'd be really disappointed if they wasted money like that. We need that money (Christmas, birthdays etc) to go towards stuff they need).

When they are older & independent, fine if they learn hard lessons with their - properly - own money.

(A relevant point is my ex was a financial nightmare that spent every penny he got his hands on & created so many difficulties for us so it is a sensitive issue for me)

Show quote history

This case is a bit different. Best not to put it in child’s accessible account if it is needed for essentials rather than pocket money or for fun activities. Maybe allow a certain amount to specifically pick something like which particular pair of shoes or coat. Only then if possible pocket that really can be spent on anything even it is frivolous.

caringcarer · 06/12/2022 22:25

My youngest D's did this when he was 15. Learned a valuable lesson and now as an adult very good with money. Just refused to go on a 4 day bender to Norway for stag do for one of his best friends as he is saving an DC almost has his deposit.

TangledWebofMincemeatDeception · 06/12/2022 22:27

I really want fried chicken and doughnuts now!! Grin Wink

GoAgainstNicki · 06/12/2022 22:27

Bless him! My 14 year old sister got in trouble for doing something similar. My grandma gave her some money and she blew it all on chicken and chips and sweets for her and her friends. My mum was so pissed off😂

MuchTooTired · 06/12/2022 22:30

I did the same when I was young! We had a ‘bank’ at school that was linked to the bank and I thought it was brilliant that the girls at the counter kept giving me money to buy chocolate bars and pop for ages.

Got the bollocking of my life once my parents got the letter saying I had an unauthorised overdraft that they had to pay off - it wasn’t much I don’t think (£15?) but they closed my account so there was no more magic bank counter.

I was then given pocket money and was so worried about running out of money I worked my budget in detail right down to how long each individual piece of gum should last and when I was allowed a fresh one.

I was an odd child.

BasiliskStare · 06/12/2022 22:40

My mother gave my brother £30 cash - this was nearly 50 years ago to have a round of golf on a golf course She intended the change to be returned but DB and friend just had another round. There were stern words. I can't remember entirely but I think £15 was material. As it can very well be nowadays but this was a special treat & the idea was £15 & return the change. I don't think DB did that again. The amounts may be wrong perhaps £15 / £10 & the price was less but the point stands - they had more cash and spent it all.