Do your teens change for bed?

[RoseMartha]

My girls usually cant be bothered age 14 and 15. I brought them up to put nightwear on but in the last year or so they will happily just go to bed in what they had on in the day. They do change out of school uniform when they get in however. But weekends and school holidays they dont change and just go to bed on what they wore that day even if been somewhere fairly dirty.

The exception to this is if they bath or shower before bed, then they do stick nightwear on or just a random t shirt. The younger one has better personal hygiene than the older one who usually cant be bothered to wash either.

I do sometimes ask them to change for bed but i havent made a big thing about it because I have far bigger problems with them as in they have additional needs.

It does gross me out a bit though.

Is this normal for teens generally now?
(I always wore and wear nightwear).

@SkylightSkylight yes. And the second shirt doesn't need to be cold, even if you're keeping heating off this year

Only if they pass out while watching the ipad in bed. My ds is often found fully clothed asleep. He has SEN too and I think it's more about self regulation than being stinky. He doesn't realise how tired he is then passes out. But this has reminded me that he needs to get sorted after dinner then he will be ready regardless.

I do think it's a bad habit to set off in life with.

@Itsallok there's nothing gross about the clothes DD wears in bed. They're clean. The bed's clean. She's clean. They're just not pyjamas. I can't see what the problem is.

RoseMartha not been back then?

@LeMoo well I suppose you could iron them to warm them up, but I'd hate to scare them!

I remember being a teenager. I would go to bed in my clothes because I was planning on sneaking out at night to meet up with my friends.

Pretty challenging though because my mum stayed up late and I usually fell asleep waiting for her to go to bed.

I did succeed at sneaking out sometimes. I never asked her, but I wonder if she ever knew. 🧐

My teenage kid changes into jammies as soon as she gets home. Doesn't get in til after 5pm. Sixth form so no uniform but she wants to get compfy. On weekends she doesn't bother getting dressed if staying home (piano lesson Saturday so she does get dressed for that)! Most of her time is studying now.

Sorry just to say I havent abandoned the thread . I will read it all later.

I didnt know this would be such a controversial thread. I was just interested in what was normal and maybe teens dont change nowadays and that I was out the loop.

Yes I am a genuine poster and I post regularly. In view of the replies I now feel pressured to justify my situation.

To the poster who would rather not say, either not post in the first place or say yes they change or no they dont.

One of my teens has asd, they both have other undiagnosed mh issues which could be anything from ODD or PDA to something else. We have been told camhs do not like making a diagnosis for under 18's. Both are under adcamhs and camhs.

The whole not changing issue annoys me in the sense I do not think it is hygienic to go to bed in clothes you wore on the train which they have done. Plus it is not good for your whole frame if mind.

I have a good hygiene routine which they despise. Dd15 will hurl insults at me.

However as I say I pick my battles. My dd15 is physically violent and manipulative and she can not regulate herself at all. Nor does she want to try to regulate herself. Dd14 is better but can be aggressive on occasion.

There is no point in me aggravating the situation regarding showering and nightwear, get physically hurt in the process then have to call the police. It is better if I do not make it a big thing. I can do without having to constantly deescalate my teens every night because they will not wash or change their clothes.

I was just interested to see if changing for bed for teens was normal. As clearly my situation is not.

To the poster who would rather not say, either not post in the first place or say yes they change or no they dont.

That was me and I did clarify I wasn't accusing you of not being genuine. It was just a bit of a reminder to people about what level of detail they shared about teens bedroom wear - like you say you were not asking what they wore, just if they changed. People are quick to overstate and it's not always necessary, that's all. I meant no harm but the situation escalated as I got dragged into defending my post, I apologise for that.

RoseMartha you must be able to see that asking what teen girls wear to bed is prime pervert territory. Of course no one is saying that you are, but really no ones knows who anyone is online. It pays to be cautious and think about whether you would be happy to post such replies on a thread started by a man who isn't who he says he is. Some people won't care. Others very much will.

@knittingaddict
I understand what you are saying but I asking if they changed out their day clothes really to wear night attire and I apologise if it wasnt clear in my first post.

Op, it was perfectly fine the question you asked. Hope you get some help soon.

@pilates Thank you.

Mine always wear pjs for bed

Mine shower before bed and therefore put clean pj’s on too.

Sounds like it’s your family life that needs the work not if she changes for bed . Why not focus your energy there instead of asking silly questions on here . Sounds like a toxic set up if she’s violent and you call the police - social services can probably advise you on the hygiene and it’s best of you get support from them I think .

Apart from the situations where a teen falls asleep as they have been lying on the bed prior to bedtime, or those where they are aware but are too lazy to get up and do it, I think poor mental health is the likely issue. Which seems to be the case with OP. And clearly there will be other issues too.

Mine both have night wear. Eldest, now in 20s, usually changes. Younger is 17 and has diagnosed depression- takes anti depressants. She also has trouble sleeping for which she takes melatonin, but spends time prior to falling asleep lying in bed, scrolling on her phone or listening to music. She is genuinely too anxious to put the phone down and needs it as a distraction. Once she feels sleepy it wouldn't make sense to get up and change. Obviously it would be better to change earlier, which she sometimes does, but it depends on how long she's been in her bedroom - could be a couple of hours so being in bed starts well before bedtime.

Being depressed means she finds it hard to get motivated to do normal everyday tasks which she doesn't value highly - and on some days, can't motivate herself even to do the latter. So hair washing- will put it off if feeling down or spend hours on it if feeling motivated eg seeing friends the same / next day.

I'm more concerned that she changes underwear etc in the morning. And much more concerned than that about her mental health. Not looking after herself/ doing everyday tasks is part of that, so I try to support her to succeed at them (e.g. brush or dry her hair for her) but insisting would be detrimental and could lead to self harm.

I guess what others do in their homes isn't necessarily relevant in the OPs case where there are mental health issues.