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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Gutted For My Son Not Getting His preffered Choice Uni Accommodation

114 replies

SunniG · 14/07/2022 12:37

My son received news today of his uni accommodation and he is absolutely gutted that he got his 6th choice. He had his heart set on getting the one his friend has just left as my son has visited and knows the area and what the accommodation is like. He is He particularly liked this one because he would have had his own ensuite. The annoying thing is that his 6th choice was one that put down because it would allow him to finish his application until he chose 6.

Does anyone have any advice on what we can do please.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

Debbiedoodah · 14/07/2022 12:41

He'll get over it

Shgytfgtf111 · 14/07/2022 12:42

Not sure you need any advice as to what to do, I didnt get my first choice of accomodation either. It was fine.

hugoagogo · 14/07/2022 12:44

My advice would be not to make a big deal of it. Trying fight is pointless and will just cause more stress.
A few weeks into term rooms tend come up again as people drop out, he might be able transfer then.
No doubt the 6th choice is cheaper, so that's a massive positive.

Kanaloa · 14/07/2022 12:44

Just put up with it basically - it’s not really a devastating loss. Uni accommodation is rarely the ritz either way! Tell him oh well it’s only for a year then maybe you can look at something different.

SimonaRazowska · 14/07/2022 12:46

Not a big deal

DS did not get his first choice, had to share a bathroom with 7 other boys, also shared kitchen

they had so much fun, made great friends, they are moving into a studs house together next year.

DS loved it and could not give a toss about en-suites etc.

First year is all about the people. And if you get on is a matter of luck/attitude

your DS will get over it very quickly

SimonaRazowska · 14/07/2022 12:47

Students, not “studs” haha that sounded so weird!

chipsandpeas · 14/07/2022 12:48

shit happens and a lesson you dont always get what you want in life

Greatauntdymphna · 14/07/2022 12:49

There's nothing you can do. We were worried DD wouldn't get her first choice because it would have been stressful to pay the costs of the lower choices (she chose the cheapest) but we knew it might happen. Every uni that I know about makes you pick multiple choices because there's no way on earth everyone can get their favourite. He'll be fine.

ItsReallyOnlyMe · 14/07/2022 12:50

It's not the accommodation that makes the uni experience - it's the people you share that accommodation with - that's the real lottery.

aftonwater · 14/07/2022 12:50

I know it feels like a big deal now, but it really isn't. In my dc's experience, if they have an en suite they have to clean it themselves, however if it's shared it may well be weekly cleaned for them (along with the kitchen).

BumbledBee · 14/07/2022 12:51

The accommodation I wanted least for uni turned out to be the best place to be in some ways. Try to stay positive.

CatchingSocks · 14/07/2022 12:52

Sounds like a valuable lesson for your son in adaptability and making the best of things.

pinkyredrose · 14/07/2022 12:53

He can look for a private rental more suitable for him?

caringcarer · 14/07/2022 12:53

My dd was upset not to get accommodation with her friend with en suite. It really was the best thing as she is quite shy and was basically forced to make friends with others in her hall. In second year she shared a house with new friends from choice. Your son will get over it.

Tsandjdarethrbest · 14/07/2022 12:53

Tell him to grow up.

RoundaboutRacer · 14/07/2022 12:56

I didn't get any of my choices.

Everyone wants the en suites.

I had to share a bathroom with 10 other girls.

I had a great time at uni.

Can't imagine for a second my parents were devastated. You need to get on with it and teach him to be the same.

Drawbackyourbow · 14/07/2022 12:56

Tbh the main thing that affects their enjoyment of halls is the people they're with. One of mine had the finest halls money could buy in his first year, but had nothing in common with his housemates at all.

He lived in a bit of a dump of a house share when he was on his placement, and had a great time because he got on with them.

It's disappointing yes, but he will be fine.

Divebar2021 · 14/07/2022 12:57

Is this what students get irate about now? En-suites?? How student life has changed.

NerrSnerr · 14/07/2022 13:01

This is an introduction to adult life. You don't always get your first (or 5th) choice. It'll be the same with jobs, houses etc.

It's fine to be a bit gutted but not worth this amount of worry. He just needs to get on with it because if he starts with the attitude that it's going to be shit it'll end up being a self fulfilling prophecy.

LIZS · 14/07/2022 13:03

He would be better looking into what he has been offered and linking up with those he is sharing with. There is often movement in the first term - some may have booked accommodation and don't get grades, find they have friends elsewhere and swap, some drop out - so he may yet find he can change at some point. Unless he has a need for an ensuite, accommodation often has shared bathrooms and kitchens. It tends to be cheaper too.

Mariposa80 · 14/07/2022 13:04

It definitely tainted my experience of uni. I was put in all girls halls, not a problem in itself but it was the first choice of a lot of Malaysian students who only socialized with each other. It was also part catered but a long way from lecture theatres meaning I missed paid for meals twice a week (my course had 5pm lectures)

I moved after about 10 weeks. The only other home student on my corridor of 16 left uni completely.

evergreenforest · 14/07/2022 13:04

Gosh what a horrible bunch of responses!!

For most teenagers, uni is their first time living away from home, leaving their friends and support of their family.

This change can cause a lot of worry and stress, coupled with living with strangers and making new friends.

I quite understand why he is upset. There is usually a waiting list for accommodation as some students drop out during the first term. But try and keep as positive as you can as he may be surprised and love it!!

Original poster

SunniG · 14/07/2022 13:04

Thank you for all your very quick responses and very sensible advice and tips. Always good to hear from people with experience.

To the poster who told my son to grow up... Bless you my dear you sound like you sit on these forums all day just so you can give nonsense comments like that. May I suggest you take your advice on board because my son is not the one lacking in being able to contribute to a forum in a sensible kind manner thank god.

OP posts:

BeyondMyWits · 14/07/2022 13:05

Mine didn't get her choice either, but she managed just fine. Some "kids" were shipped off to private accommodation in other cities as they were oversubscribed.

WishingWell5 · 14/07/2022 13:07

I got my first choice, which had an en-suite. But I wished I didn't because it was the halls lower down on my list that were so much more friendly, and sociable and looking back I would have chosen very differently. So it might be a blessing in disguise!

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