Gutted For My Son Not Getting His preffered Choice Uni Accommodation

[SunniG]

My son received news today of his uni accommodation and he is absolutely gutted that he got his 6th choice. He had his heart set on getting the one his friend has just left as my son has visited and knows the area and what the accommodation is like. He is He particularly liked this one because he would have had his own ensuite. The annoying thing is that his 6th choice was one that put down because it would allow him to finish his application until he chose 6.

Does anyone have any advice on what we can do please.

Thanks in advance.

DD requested single sex accommodation but was given mixed (2 guys, 2 women sharing). Not en suite! She survived.

Honestly, your son will be fine.

Yep was just going to say something similar... We had communal shower and toilet blocks in our halls. And our halls looked like a 1960s prison. But we still had an amazing time.
This was about 300 years ago though (1990s).🤣

You will need to either get the GP to write a letter/fill in a form detailing the specific difficulties your dd has for DSA OR they accepted the private ed psych report from year 8 plus a letter from his school they wrote outlining his difficulties and accommodations that he needed in school. I have heard of just ed psych reports alone being refused I think it ws the fact the school had specifically outlined his needs that helped.

So start thinking about what you might need to get together now and maybe speak to her school.

My experience is that a few weeks into first term people drop out or move accommodation and spaces come up. By that point he may have made friends where he is and not want to move but if not he could register his interest in his preferred accommodation with the accommodation office (or whoever allocates the rooms) and it may be possible for him to switch

I would also say it's sometimes good to live away from school friends etc to allow making new friends - he may decide old school friends cramp his style!

@Hoppinggreen she may need to look at self contained studios. Most accommodation seems to ban fridges and kettles in rooms otherwise.

If you can get enough evidence together then DSA MIGHT (it's not guaranteed) pay the difference for a studio. Some accommodation allow a mini fridge in rooms for diabetic and allergic students.

@ethelredonagoodday Ziggurats per chance?

OP in the kindest possible way, your son will get over this. Just advise him to suck it up and make the most of it. In my experience, the cheapest accommodations are the most social. He'll have a blast!

I didn’t get into halls at all despite coming from 5hrs away - instead they put me in a little shared 3 bed house about half a mile walk away from uni with 2 other random girls. One of those girls has now been my best friend for 26 years and we’d never have met if either of us had got our first choice. Don’t let him get hung up on what he didn’t get, it could just be even better this way in the end!

I work in a university and have worked as a halls tutor I can say 100% that while people do get stressed when they don't get their preferred choice, it always ends up not mattering. It is the people who make the year it doesn't matter where you live at that age and for that student experience. It's not the same as when you are older and you do want to live somewhere a bit nicer. In my university, the poshest halls are mainly full of international students and the most 'basic' halls are where the most fun is had and the most memories created. They are affectionately mocked but are great places to live. He will be totally fine.

No idea why it has put a line through some of my post.

But if he ends up somewhere and it really doesnt work out, he can put in a transfer request. Loads of people leave or switch around so spaces come up.

OP - your son will get over this - just advise him to make the most of it and move on. I can see that you did not like some of the responses and suggested that people find better things to do than post on MN - can I kindly suggest you do the same as it really will not help your son if you are so overly concerned about something that in the scheme of things is really quite small.

No advice, just sorry he didn't get his first choice (or other 5) and hopefully he'll be mixed a good group.

I think for the price we're paying £7500 a year, an en-suite should be included.

Get on the waiting list for the preferred accommodation .
But than likely he will live in what's been allocated for a month and by then will have made such good friends with his flatmates that he doesn't want to move after all.

Problem with Studios is that that can make it much harder to make friends.

There is not anything you can do apart from him going on the waiting list for an en-suite. The best thing you can do is to explain that it's just the way it is, most choose en-suite so they always have more applications than places. I'm sorry he's upset but many of us with kids at university have had the same issue

I didn't get University Accomodation, got put into a shared sublet. The people I shared with very studious - studying before their courses even started, didn't want to go out too busy working - I hot-footed it around to the accommodation office and got my name on a waiting list...best decision I made. I'd advise your son to wait and see what his flatmates are like. Sharing a bathroom is fine if someone else comes into clean it - who you share with however is everything!

As someone who also go their last accommodation choice I would keep speaking with the accommodation team to see if people drop out etc. Leave after the first few weeks (it does happen) and then see about moving.

I was placed (they lost my application) so ended up in an old building block. 2 bathrooms between 8 rooms mixed gender (only 1 having a shower). So I had to have a bath instead at night (had to clean the bath before and after each use as it was grim), was placed with 1 other female whose English wasn't great and the rest were mature make students. The kitchen was always disgusting, the toilet constantly blocked and overflowing. I lost about a stone in weight in my first term as wasn't happy cooking in the kitchen and would avoid unless in normal clothes (no pjs). I also didn't use the communal room as the men would let leer at me and I felt uncomfortable.

I ended up having a bit of a breakdown in the middle of the night at the start of my second term. My parents came and packed me up in the middle of the night and I moved back home.

FFS 🤦‍♂️

Neither of my sons got what they wanted, but with all the excitement of becoming students meeting new people and starting out in life in different places they didn't really give a second thought to what they had originally wanted. We did see some plush private halls where you get a large study bedroom and an ensuite and thought they actually made it harder to make friends. if you are one of 6/7/8 thrown together at random having to cook and get on together it seems to bring about a much more lively experience. Both mine have stayed friends with those they met in those first weeks.
Thinking back to my own student experience I actually ended up in a hall where we had to share rooms, none of us got on with our room mates but we formed a little so;cial group that tried to get out as much as possible, again 40+ years on I'm still in touc with most of them.

She is considering York and apparently she can have a fridge if there is a medical reason.
We will see, the fact that she is even considering going to Uni is a miracle I never would have believed to be possible last year.

DH didn't get his first choice. He was put in accommodation with another random fresher. They lived together throughout uni life, bought their first house together after leaving uni and went on to be each other's best men. His friend lives in the US now and recently came back for a 30 year reunion.
Sometimes things happen for a reason.

@FriendlyPineapple I have been on mumsnet long enough to know this is an alien concept to most of you, but not all of your dc will get everything they want in life.

The worst thing about the hall placement where I went was it really was a lottery as all halls were the same price but vastly different in terms of accommodation. The halls I was in had 16 people to a corridor and a bathroom with three showers separated by curtains only (like school gym showers basically) Meanwhile my school friend had a room with a jack and Jill bathroom. I suspect that's changed now.

Some people on here are vile. This is the first time that this young lad has lived away from home, and here you are are implying he needs to 'grow up/man up/suck it up'. No wonder male MH incidents are soaring. Isn't the poor boy allowed to feel a little but anxious?
In all honesty OP, he will be ok. Once he gets settled, he will make some friends and it will all seem a bit better. Going to uni s a big deal. I really struggled at first, so much so that I became a volunteer counsellor in my last year to help the new ones (I was loving Uni by then).