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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

15 year old daughter wants to try alcohol

122 replies

redblonde · 02/12/2021 22:21

She has asked if she can try some alcohol at Christmas. In theory I think it’s ok for her to try it, in a safe environment (although on the inside I’m screaming “ noooo you’re still my baby”!) but not sure what to suggest! She doesn’t like what wine smells like and spirits seem a step too far. I’m thinking a weak cider maybe? Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Kite22 · 03/12/2021 00:10

Another who is somewhat baffled at the thought of a 15 yr old making a big plan to 'try some alcohol' Confused

Unless no-one else in the family drinks alcohol, surely you've had discussions before about what people are drinking and "Can I have a taste" questions before then?
I'm not suggesting "offering" it to her, just natural curiosity on holiday or at a family party or at Sunday lunch or previous Christmases or BBQs or whenever adults tend to have alcohol.
Seem bizarre to have go to a stage where she thinks it is a big "thig" to "have some alcohol to taste" some weeks in advance - it is as if she is building it up into something that is exciting and mysterious.

GreenClock · 03/12/2021 00:13

I used to have a weak martini and lemonade. Still love it! Ice and lemon essential.

A small glass of Crofts Original with my grandmother. Sherry is such a Christmas drink for me!

DeadoftheMoon · 03/12/2021 00:19

By fifteen my family supported me in trying any alcohol I wished - though eyebrows were raised a tequila (bland), and absinthe (nasty). My regular drink was brandy. I never became a 'drinker' and could not/would not down a bottle of wine before a night out as I've seen women do since. Let your daughter try it, in the safety of a family group. I was sending my daughter to the bar at fourteen... she doesn't drink much, either.
Give her Pernod and lemonade. That tastes quite nice.

Lilolily · 03/12/2021 02:15

If she’s anything like we were at 15 what she means is she’d kinda like to have a drink at home rather than in the park! 😂

Seriously though, I think this is a really good way to teach them to drink sensibly. My two had a drink with me on special occasions and then with dinner if they felt like it and they very rarely drink to excess now they’re adults.

LadyLolaRuben · 03/12/2021 02:18

My parents used to let me have a very small glass of wine with a meal from a young age. It did me well. Because its always been around me I take or leave the stuff

foxgoosefinch · 03/12/2021 03:49

In England it is illegal to buy, sell or serve alcohol to someone under the age of 18. The pub could lose their licence.
I guess what you decide to allow your child to do in your own home is your business. However if as an adult you have purchased alcohol for a child (under 18) you could find yourself in trouble with the police

From gov.uk:
“However, if you’re 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, you can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal.”

www.gov.uk/alcohol-young-people-law

notthemum · 03/12/2021 06:08

[quote foxgoosefinch]In England it is illegal to buy, sell or serve alcohol to someone under the age of 18. The pub could lose their licence.
I guess what you decide to allow your child to do in your own home is your business. However if as an adult you have purchased alcohol for a child (under 18) you could find yourself in trouble with the police

From gov.uk:
“However, if you’re 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, you can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal.”

www.gov.uk/alcohol-young-people-law[/quote]
Wow. Thank you, I did not know this. However it is some considerable time since I worked in bars and in all honesty they were not the sort that sold food and definitely not the sort that you would want your 15 year old in. Cheers 🥂.

liveforsummer · 03/12/2021 06:23

Wow. Thank you, I did not know this. However it is some considerable time since I worked in bars and in all honesty they were not the sort that sold food and definitely not the sort that you would want your 15 year old in. Cheers

This has always been the case. I remember 30 odd years ago aged 14 saying it's only 2 years til I can 'officially' have wine in the pub (unofficially I was doing that most weekends anyway, albeit vodka lime and lemonade).

Slightly impressed you've made it to 15 without her being interested though. Cider or Prosecco. Definitely avoid alcopops

Notimetolive · 03/12/2021 06:26

My dad made my friend and me lager shandies at Christmas from the age of 15, gradually reducing the amount of lemonade in them.
(It was with her mums consent).

SFisnotsimple · 03/12/2021 06:30

Totally concur w @LindaBlinda - normalising it at home seems to be working for us too. 18 yo DS has a drink but doesn't go mad like some of his friends for whom alcohol has been severely restricted/banned.

They come to an age where you have to let them experiment whilst protecting them. With alcohol, as with most things, it's about modelling sensible behaviours and discussion.

maddy68 · 03/12/2021 06:39

I love that's asked to try .....you know she's swigging cider at her friends don't you ?

StrongerOrWeaker · 03/12/2021 06:47

Alcopops are the chicken nuggets of alcohol! Give her something good quality!

JaninaDuszejko · 03/12/2021 07:28

I'd avoid alcopops and go for something Christmassy like a Bucks Fizz or a small glass of champagne. A drink an adult might drink. Although I'm now getting nostalgic about drinking Two Dogs as a student.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 03/12/2021 07:50

We've always been open to the DC trying alcohol if they ask us.

We found a couple of empty beer cans hidden in DS's bedroom when he was 15. He said his friends had started drinking and he never wanted to try when out with them as he was worried about how it would affect him so he tried it at home just to see.

We spoke to him and said he didn't need to drink it in secret and that we would offer him something with a meal if we were having alcohol.

On holiday in the summer we would order him a lager with dinner if he wanted it. We are not big drinkers ( just one or two glasses of something with a meal) so as long as he only had what we had we didn't have a problem with it.

He's now 16 and more often than not will decline alcohol as he prefers Diet Coke.

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 03/12/2021 07:52

I was allowed sparkling wine from age 12 Grin

I’d just give her a bit of whatever you’re having

It’s just about being included and treated like an adult really, isn’t it?

dementedpixie · 03/12/2021 07:57

You also get wee premixed cans and pouches of cocktails. You freeze the pouches and get an alcoholic slushy (think our last ones were from aldi maybe). They taste like juice and dd likes them

KittenKong · 03/12/2021 07:57

A glass of champagne. God my grandma was giving us Advocaat and lemonade when we were tiny. She was a bit eccentric through.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 03/12/2021 07:57

At 15 the vast majority of kids in our year level would have had alcohol at a party. Really cheap champagne and cider were certainly regulars, white run, we weren't exactly fussy.

Sparkling Moscato is nice and light, low alcohol content. There's some great ciders with different fruits, nothing like that around when I was a teen.

GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 03/12/2021 08:01

My 13 yr old will try alcohol, just curiosity I think, she'll take a sip of what I'm drinking, pull a face and ask for some pop. I may give her a small glass of Prosecco with lemonade in it on special occasions. I think banning things like alcohol just makes it more attractive. Take that away and to most teenagers it's an awful tasting drink.

MsTSwift · 03/12/2021 08:05

There’s been studies that the “try it at home where it’s safe” method is totally wrong and actually encourages problem drinking as the teen sees parents are endorsing it.

We say no it’s illegal. Not naive enough to think she won’t drink and she knows she can come to us if anything goes wrong but not being “cool mom” on this.

beekeepershat · 03/12/2021 08:05

What about Buck's Fizz?

I think it's important to introduce alcohol at home. It helps them get used to it and know how it makes them feel. It also takes away the "thrill" of it.

MsTSwift · 03/12/2021 08:05

In the states it’s 21 can’t believe people giggling and giving spirits to 13 year olds.

KittenKong · 03/12/2021 08:11

You’ve not been to France then?

coodawoodashooda · 03/12/2021 08:12

I guess. I definitely wouldn't be buying anything that tasted like fruit juice though.

MsTSwift · 03/12/2021 08:13

Yeah done several French exchanges didn’t see young teens drinking alcohol encouraged by parents though 🙄,