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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

15 year old daughter wants to try alcohol

122 replies

redblonde · 02/12/2021 22:21

She has asked if she can try some alcohol at Christmas. In theory I think it’s ok for her to try it, in a safe environment (although on the inside I’m screaming “ noooo you’re still my baby”!) but not sure what to suggest! She doesn’t like what wine smells like and spirits seem a step too far. I’m thinking a weak cider maybe? Any suggestions?

OP posts:
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 02/12/2021 22:55

15 and never tried alcohol

Correction: 15 and has told her mother she has never tried alcohol. Not the same.

PriamFarrl · 02/12/2021 22:56

This is where I feel like a complete lush. My regular drink at home at that age was cinzano and lemonade!

DockOTheBay · 02/12/2021 22:56

@HalloHello

I am baffled that a 15 year old has never tried any alcohol ever? My 12 year old niece has had a bucks fizz and my 4 year old niece has been sneaking drinks of her Dad's ale since she could walk 🤣🤣
I would find a 2 year old drinking alcohol fsr more surprising and concerning than a 15 year old not drinking it.
TheMarzipanDildo · 02/12/2021 22:56

@ISpyCobraKai

I'm suprised she's never tasted it before.
Same Grin

Have you never offered her a sip?

foxgoosefinch · 02/12/2021 22:57

I’d say a small glass of prosecco or wine. I was allowed half a glass of decent wine with Sunday lunch at that age, and as a result never got drunk on all those teenage party drinks like diamond white and 20-20 because I thought them too disgusting!

SFisnotsimple · 02/12/2021 22:58

Perry is good, like a pear cider. It was my DDs first try of alcohol.

There are loads of fruity flavoured ciders out there that are good - low alcohol % and palatable to younger tastebuds eg Rekorderlig

evilharpy · 02/12/2021 22:59

My parents would have given me a glass of ready mixed bucks fizz (very weak stuff) or a Babycham or West Coast Cooler at that age. Just the one.

Mind you my dad used to give me a tiny bit of the foam off the top of his Guinness in a little red plastic teacup from my toy tea set when was only 5 or 6. He only had one can of it once in a blue moon. I can see people being horrified if a parent did this nowadays.

Original poster
redblonde · 02/12/2021 22:59

I know - what are the youth of today like! We live in a rural village where the only place to get booze would be the Co-op or the pub, both staffed a lot of the time by people who know the teens that live locally. She’s probably been scarred by the wine drinking she sees her degenerate parents do!

Like the idea of Bucks Fizz/champagne and also Baileys. Thanks.

OP posts:
MusicTeacherSussex · 02/12/2021 23:02

As a teen I got a glass of champagne with xmas dinner and I loved it :)

Maybe try babycham or a snowball if she likes sweet stuff, or a baileys.

Please normalise drinking responsibly so that she doesnt go mad later on (I know you will but still has to be said)

Trust begets trust!

fucketyfuckwit · 02/12/2021 23:06

Grappa? It will put her off for life. By the pint!🍺

saraclara · 02/12/2021 23:06

My parents brewed their own beer and made their own wine (it was the late 60s!) so I was offered wine with my dinner from fairly young. I didn't like it though, apart from the slightly fizzy elderflower one.

I'm pretty certain that cider was the only sort of alcohol I enjoyed at all for some time. Though if bucks fizz had been a thing, I probably would have liked it.

To be honest, I think it's part of a parent's job to introduce alcohol as something normal, and drunk sensibly. If friends are the first to introduce it, and as something subversive, then it can go badly wrong.

StormyCornishSeas · 02/12/2021 23:08

Does babysham still exist? That was what I had a Christmas when I was 13-15.

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/12/2021 23:12

@TwoAndCooPlease

I think it's ok. Go with alco-pops. Blue WKD/Smirnoff Ice type. Just 4%

But agree with pp - surprised she's not tried it before now

🤮 please don’t introduce her to alcopops..

A small glass of some sparkling wine is most likely what she’d enjoy, or cider. Are you sure she’s never tried alcohol?!

TyrannosaurusRights · 02/12/2021 23:13

Mulled wine? Buck’s Fizz?

Does she like coffee? A nice coffee with half a shot of whatever you like to add wouldn’t be much booze, would be quite dilute and because it’s a hot drink would take a while to drink.

A long cocktail of some sort? Light on the booze but festive/celebratory.

Couchbettato · 02/12/2021 23:16

Ooft Shandys. I proper fancy one now.

But yes, I'd also recommend them for a first drink.

Couchbettato · 02/12/2021 23:17

Or a babycham.

Original poster
redblonde · 02/12/2021 23:23

God, now I feel I’m a terrible parent for not offering her some before!

She’s genuinely not been interested until now!

OP posts:
SummerSazz · 02/12/2021 23:24

My 15 yo has had tasters but doesn't like any of them - beer/wine/champagne. The only one which was a slight yes was my weak grapefruit gin and tonic but she's not overly bothered. She's going to a sleepover tomorrow and looked horrified when I mentioned alcohol!

BourbonScreams · 02/12/2021 23:36

Ahh you're not a terrible parent OP, my parents introduced me to alcohol young and I still used to get absolutely wankered with my friends as soon as I was able. My dad was an alcoholic though, so maybe it's more about modelling the kind of relationship with alcohol you want your child to have. I'm sure you're doing fine Smile

LindaBlinda · 02/12/2021 23:39

I've been offering my DC forever.

Oldest is only 9 but so far she's never once taken me up on the offer. I have a glass of red wine maybe twice a month and then in summer that switches to a G&T so to be fair stuff that smells gross to kids.

As a primary school age child my parents always offered me sips of any drink they had/tastes of any food they had so I've always done the same.

From about 13/14 if we were out for Sunday lunch/dinner I'd be allowed a Malibu and Coke or an Archers and lemonade (my grandad would always buy me them, I don't know now what the legalities of that was in the 90s but it was a family meal out situation) and my parents would let me have one Bacardi breezer at home if we were having a party of something.

As a tween/teen I was never the kid who snuck alcohol or had to be rescued because I was off my face drunk. In the experience ms I had those were the kids whose parents literally locked their booze away and refused to let them try it.

I drink very little now compared to most, normally offer to be the driver.

So in my eyes that method worked well for me so I'm doing the same for my DC. Alcohol is something that you need to learn how to handle if you're going to have it. And I think allowing a safe space to do so, and healthy habits and not making it mysterious makes for a healthier relationship.

On the flip side many of my family members were absolutely weight/fat obsessed and what I was able to eat was policed/judged and I spent many years overweight/binge eating and still struggle emotionally with food.

SoftSheen · 02/12/2021 23:40

Small glass of wine with dinner should be fine. Not alcopops

Gwrach · 02/12/2021 23:45

Bucksfizz, babycham, a snowball I'd say they are all ok to try at 15.

I mean DS is 7 and he drinks the weakest shandy you have ever seen if I open a beer bottle he gets to have a thimble of beer in the bottom of a glass topped up with like a gallon of lemonade 😂 it's probably like 0.0000001% but he feels grown up. I've also before given him a small wine glass with again a dash of wine topped up with so much water it's not even worth it but he wanted to feel grown up 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Kid loves a can of shandy bass too, and even that's 0.4% so I don't feel so bad 😳🤣

bluetowers · 02/12/2021 23:50

Lordy. My DS has no interest but DD would try anything. In our area they all go to festivals post GCSEs so you've done very well. I'd just let her try anything you have and see what she thinks. Everyone I know was in pubs drinking by 15

Amandasummers · 03/12/2021 00:05

Ooh what about hooch or strawberry brothers? I don’t think this is a big deal at all personally, my dad would allow me and my friends to have a small drink if there was a party, things got a bit weird when I was older, he offered me pills, just to try, he was experimenting himself….I didn’t want them, I found, that because things weren’t off limits within reason, that I had no interest? I didn’t drink alcohol really between 19-29 I didn’t do drugs….if I wanted to I could have, there was no appeal or specialness surrounding it.

My 10 and 11 year old has occasionally drank red wine with dinner at their dads.

It’s normal to have a few drinks at 15 surely? Better it’s allowed and in your home then sneaking out and getting in a state etc.

notthemum · 03/12/2021 00:06

@MsInterpret

Why not let her have some with dinner, some wine or champagne. In moderation, with others drinking socially and with a meal is surely the best way to introduce.

I'm sure you can have wine with a meal in a pub from 16, can't you?

In England it is illegal to buy, sell or serve alcohol to someone under the age of 18. The pub could lose their licence. I guess what you decide to allow your child to do in your own home is your business. However if as an adult you have purchased alcohol for a child (under 18) you could find yourself in trouble with the police .