Teenager attacked a man

[teenagersandtoddlers]

I need help and advice. My teenager was last night brought home by the police. He had been cautioned for attacking a man - punching him in the head.
Apparently they rang his door bell and he came out chasing them and then took his friends bike. He wheeled it back to his house and they tried to get the bike back from him and he was threatening them. I don't know what happened but my teenager then started punching him. It's all on his ring doorbell Cctv. He said he was trying to protect his friend.
I am so ashamed. He is normally the most empathic, quiet and kind boy.
I have spoken to him about how serious this is, he could have killed him or he could have been killed.
I don't know what to do or how to handle this.

What are the police doing?

Also, how old is the teenager? There a big difference between 13 and 19.

He's 13. Nearly 14. The police gave him a warning and he has to write an apology to the victim and stay away from that part of town.

Why were they there? Why did they ring the doorbell? Were they up to no good?

They rang his doorbell? So they were harassing this man to start with, then your son assaulted him? If that's the case, I hope the man presses charges and your son is recognised as the young offender he is.

No wonder there's so much crime.
Thugs get away with it.
He should be arrested and sentenced.

They were ringing the doorbell and running off. Basically up to no good

What is your son saying? How old is he?
He’s found out that actions have consequences.
A few people where I live have this from teenagers. It’s a TikTok challenge. It has caused their families different amounts of stress. Plenty of people say it’s kids being kids. One of the families dc has severe anxiety because it happens at bedtime, so the poor kid is frightened of going to sleep.
Several people have said they’d react like the man in your op. So many people have cameras now.
Hopefully this will be enough for your son to get his act together. What are the next steps with the police?
It must be a shock but it could have ended so much worse. Did he have a solicitor or appropriate adult at the station? Why did they not contact you to attend the station? If you have a social worker assigned to your family, talk to them too.

Had he been drinking or smoking weed ?
And before you answer that you need to really think about it. My son is a lovely lad but got caught up with a couple of bad lads and was smoking weed to impress them.

Was it a warning or a caution OP?

I guess the devil is in the detail here.

A small teen lashing out in a frightened way at a large adult? Or an adult-sized teen bullying a frail old man? Either way is not good, but they are v different.

A letter of apology is a very good start. Make sure he takes time over it and means it.

And then very close supervision for quite some time. You want to know where he is and what he is up to.

You need to make sure this is a one off and not the first step towards ‘juvey’ and then real prison.

Is your Ds upset and remorseful? I’d be grounding him for a very long time, he’s demonstrated he’s not mature enough to be out without adult supervision.

@icelollycraving it's not an official caution, it's a community order or agreement I think it's called. It will be on a record for 2 years. They will let social services know.

@GoodnightGrandma - I asked him if he had been smoking or drinking. He said no but I am not sure. I couldn't smell anything on him but I have wondered recently

@sashh - It says on his record for 2 years.

There was a big 'one punch can kill' campaign a while ago, you absolutely need to get this throught to him as well as dealing with why he thinks harrasment of someone is 'fun'.

@evenflo3 - I agree. He needs to know the impact of what he thinks is a joke on people and how they feel. Apparently this has happened numerous times to this same man.

Your son should not be knocking on the doors of randomers and running away. He could have killed the man by punching him in the head. At 13 you need to stop him going out if this is what he is doing. The man could have been anyone. What if he had dragged your son into his house? Anything g could have happened. Either way he obviously should not be allowed to roam around the streets. I hope he has learnt his lesson.

@CovidCorvid I don't know. He seems quiet and withdrawn but I don't know about remorseful. I need to discuss with him again today

[quote teenagersandtoddlers]@GoodnightGrandma - I asked him if he had been smoking or drinking. He said no but I am not sure. I couldn't smell anything on him but I have wondered recently [/quote]
I could never smell anything either, but I went through his drawers and found a lighter.
He was asking for £5 to buy sweets and chips when out with these mates, because they were getting a bag for £5.

Does he seem remorseful?
Where did you think he was?

The man taking the bike was hardly unprovoked if they’d been harassing him. I don’t really blame him!

Sorry cross post about him seeming remorseful.
I’m very sorry for you you must feel very ashamed, I would. It’s not kind and empathetic to harass people like that.

So he has to write a letter to the victim, but is he actually sorry OP? Because that would make a big difference in how I would feel about him. Either way I would be grounding him for at least a month and taking his phone off of him too.

I don't think he should be going out unsupervised for quite a while, OP.