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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD 17 uninvited from friend's holiday after having bought plane ticket

86 replies

Canileavenow · 27/06/2021 18:34

Over the past year and a half DD formed a close friendship with a girl, who at the start of this year invited her, together with a couple of other friends on a holiday abroad. Plane tickets were subsequently bought. Over the course of the last couple of months however said friend began to be increasingly unavailable spending more and more time with another group which upset my DD as they had been so close. However, they were still on friendly terms. A few weeks ago my DD received a text from the friend to say she was really sorry, but because she would still be only 17 (she has an August birthday and the holiday is in July), she wouldn't be able to come to the resort, as the regulations were such that anyone under 18 had to be supervised by someone over 21. DD was naturally upset, didn't really believe the excuse, but took it on the chin and asked her if she could please let her know if she invited someone else so she could try to sell them her plane ticket, which the girl said she would do. Yesterday she found out that someone else had indeed been invited and they had already bought their ticket. Ultimately I am sure my DD will just have to chalk this up to experience, but part of me wants to take some action, like contact the girl's mother (whom I've never met) to let her know how disappointed my DD is and that she is now substantially out of pocket - not in the expectation that this will achieve much, but doing nothing about it feels like said friend has got away with treating my DD badly without consequence. I am sure there must be other people who have had a similar experience. What did/would you do?

OP posts:
Windinmyhair · 27/06/2021 18:35

I'd be fuming and want some sort of money back....

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/06/2021 18:39

Will the holiday even go ahead, assuming you're in England we don't know what the travel rules will be

I'd contact the other mum to ask if she has for a more info on the cancellation conditions and mention how upsetting it is. No harm if you approach it nicely.

covidcloser · 27/06/2021 18:43

Can you not look at the T&Cs of the resort yourself to clarify the reason?

Who paid for DD accommodation?

TheresWaldo · 27/06/2021 18:46

Id be demanding that the ticket was paid for, but surely they checked the conditions before arranging all this. I know my 17 has wanted to go places for the weekend, covid allowing, and there are quite strict rules in many places about under 18s.

NeverNotChasingDreams · 27/06/2021 19:09

Check the destination, depending on where it is you may be able to get a refund/delay voucher anyway.
Otherwise, chalk it up to experience. She'd probably have had an awful time with this girl abroad.

Canileavenow · 27/06/2021 19:14

@covidcloser yes, the first thing we did was check the T&Cs, but they are not clear and seem to imply that at least one of the party needs to be over 21 (which won't be the case). DD pointed this out to friend to which there was no reaction. Friend's family have been going there for several years and the parents have hired the accommodation on behalf of DD, so maybe that is how they have got round the age thing.

OP posts:
Ifeelmuchlessfat · 27/06/2021 19:16

I also would politely contact the mother to appraise her of your daughter’s financial loss, as the situation isn’t fair, but I would expect to have to suck it up and put it down to experience.

Susannahmoody · 27/06/2021 19:18

You live and learn I'd say

LizziesTwin · 27/06/2021 19:19

Dc3 is young in the school year and she and her friends did not travel until she was 18 for that reason. I think you’ll just have to chalk it up to experience.

Gooseberrypies · 27/06/2021 19:20

@Susannahmoody

You live and learn I'd say
Live and learn what? They haven't done anything wrong here to learn from Confused
LilTeapot · 27/06/2021 19:20

Could she use the plane ticket to go to the country then stay somewhere else, with someone else?

Canigooutyet · 27/06/2021 19:21

She could always use the ticket and bookvso.sayers else. Doesn't have to include this group.

If I was contacted I would be asking what you wanted me to do with it. I had no involvement in who was asked. And after reading the t&c's why did you assume these wouldn't apply to your daughter?

Chloemol · 27/06/2021 19:22

I would contact the mother and state you want your money back from her if you can’t get it back from the airline

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/06/2021 19:23

@Susannahmoody

You live and learn I'd say
Learn that sometimes people you think are your friends aren't?

What should she learn from it, never to trust anyone, never to book a holiday with other people?

What's the take away here?

Weedsgalore · 27/06/2021 19:29

I think you should at least complain to the parents to say as disappointing as it was, could they not have transferred the ticket rather than leaving your dd out of pocket? What dreadful people. I have a dd a bit younger but no way in hell would I allow this to go on.

saraclara · 27/06/2021 19:33

Very few airline tickets are transferable. In fort years of travelling as an adult, I've never had one that was. I imagine that you'd have to have paid top dollar for one with conditions that allowed that.

WaltzingBetty · 27/06/2021 19:36

I don't understand why you or your DD didn't check the resort would accept your DD before paying for the ticket. It sounds like the friend's parent have booked and paid for the accommodation - did you not talk to them at the time?

I'm not sure why you think the friend's parents owe you money for a plane ticket to a resort your DD can't stay at because you didn't check the Ts&Cs

paniniswapx3 · 27/06/2021 19:51

I'd ask the friends parents for the money - I wouldn't really expect them to pay up but to make them aware of the shabby way their DD has treated your DD and to give them a bit of hassle and food for thought, rather than getting away completely freely.

TeddingtonTrashbag · 27/06/2021 19:53

You should have checked re the accommodation before buying a ticket. Surely with all the travel restrictions etc it was unlikely anyway to go ahead. Which country?

NeverNotChasingDreams · 27/06/2021 19:56

Oh good idea upthread- can you book a ticket and fly out with her and stay elsewhere?

saraclara · 27/06/2021 19:57

I imagine that only the person booking the accommodation would have been sent the t's and c's. And doubtless that nugget was hidden away in three pages of small print..

WaltzingBetty · 27/06/2021 19:57

@Weedsgalore

I think you should at least complain to the parents to say as disappointing as it was, could they not have transferred the ticket rather than leaving your dd out of pocket? What dreadful people. I have a dd a bit younger but no way in hell would I allow this to go on.
Why is it up to the friend's parents to ensure another adult who is not their child buys the OP's DD's plane ticket from her?
Canileavenow · 27/06/2021 20:00

@canigooutyet - it wasn't a case of assuming the t&cs didn't apply to my DD. We only looked them up when the issue arose. At the time of booking the flight there was no reason to assume she couldn't legitimately stay there, especially in view of the fact that this resort is well known to the family, and in any case as someone suggested above one would assume they would have checked out any issues prior to offering the invitation.

Thanks everyone for your responses!

OP posts:
Lawnpop · 27/06/2021 20:00

Is the holiday even likely to go ahead with covid restrictions? If travel isn’t possible then a refund from the airline might be possible.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 27/06/2021 20:05

How horrible for your dd. Of course contact the host's parents. They should have known what their daughter was up to.