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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD 17 uninvited from friend's holiday after having bought plane ticket

86 replies

Canileavenow · 27/06/2021 18:34

Over the past year and a half DD formed a close friendship with a girl, who at the start of this year invited her, together with a couple of other friends on a holiday abroad. Plane tickets were subsequently bought. Over the course of the last couple of months however said friend began to be increasingly unavailable spending more and more time with another group which upset my DD as they had been so close. However, they were still on friendly terms. A few weeks ago my DD received a text from the friend to say she was really sorry, but because she would still be only 17 (she has an August birthday and the holiday is in July), she wouldn't be able to come to the resort, as the regulations were such that anyone under 18 had to be supervised by someone over 21. DD was naturally upset, didn't really believe the excuse, but took it on the chin and asked her if she could please let her know if she invited someone else so she could try to sell them her plane ticket, which the girl said she would do. Yesterday she found out that someone else had indeed been invited and they had already bought their ticket. Ultimately I am sure my DD will just have to chalk this up to experience, but part of me wants to take some action, like contact the girl's mother (whom I've never met) to let her know how disappointed my DD is and that she is now substantially out of pocket - not in the expectation that this will achieve much, but doing nothing about it feels like said friend has got away with treating my DD badly without consequence. I am sure there must be other people who have had a similar experience. What did/would you do?

OP posts:

Garraty47 · 27/06/2021 20:06

Why on earth should the parents of the girl who arranged it pay?

Shame for your DD but I don't think there's much you can do?

Canigooutyet · 27/06/2021 20:07

I'm confused as your other post suggests that your rd checked at the very beginning, ie, when mentioned.

I offer out invitations. I give out the place details and surely it's then down on that person to find out if the t&cs meet their own needs before handing over cash.

Perhaps that's the lesson don't rely on others to give you reliable info.

Gameofbones · 27/06/2021 20:14

What airline is it? EasyJet quite easy to do a change you usually pay £30 plus the difference.

Or can dd push the ticket to next year go with better friends who aren’t such arseholes.

LemonPartA · 27/06/2021 20:15

The friends are 18? I dont think its anything to do with their parents then, I'd be confused as to why you'd contact their mum like they are a child. I was living alone at 18.

UhtredRagnarson · 27/06/2021 20:19

Can your DD sell the ticket or change it to another date/destination?

Lulola · 27/06/2021 20:27

I think you as the parent of a 17 year old are at fault here. If the others are 18 they are adults planning what is probably their first holiday so they won’t have the knowledge or experience to expect something like this, I don’t see how someone else’s parents can be blamed more than you can. If I was letting my 17 year old travel abroad with friends I would have looked into all the details before allowing the booking.

FunMcCool · 27/06/2021 20:29

Your dd is almost an adult I’m not sure contacting the parents is the right thing

Inthemuckheap · 27/06/2021 20:51

Well as nobody in the party is going to be over 21 you could let the resort know this.....

Really sorry for your DD, that's a shitty thing for (ex)friend to have done.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 27/06/2021 20:52

If we're saying the host is old enough to do all the arrangements herself without her parents involvement, then the host should have thought about who in the party would be 18 by the time of the holiday.

Host girl sounds awful. I'd want her parents to at least know about what has gone on, even if no money comes back.

2021DNA · 27/06/2021 20:52

If the friend has uninvited your DD then she should pay for the flight.

skodadoda · 27/06/2021 20:57

@Chicchicchicchiclana

How horrible for your dd. Of course contact the host's parents. They should have known what their daughter was up to.

I’m surprised OP has never met the friend’s mother. If my DC at 17 had been organising such a trip I’m sure there would have been at least some phone communication between the parents.

kowari · 27/06/2021 21:01

Couldn't they have just invited a friend or sibling over 21 to join them?

Garraty47 · 27/06/2021 21:05

@2021DNA

If the friend has uninvited your DD then she should pay for the flight.

She didn't uninvite her. She pointed out that the rules state she has to be 18.

LawnFever · 27/06/2021 21:06

@2021DNA

If the friend has uninvited your DD then she should pay for the flight.

She’s uninvited her because she’s not old enough to stay at the resort at 17 though, that’s not the friends fault, it’s just the rules.

Sorry OP but I think this is something you/your daughter should’ve checked before booking, if she’s only 17 it really should’ve been looked into first before shelling out for a flight.

I don’t see why the friends parents should be liable in any way for the cost.

Could you book a flight too and book alternative accomodation and go on holiday with her instead?

Seasidemumma77 · 27/06/2021 21:29

I'm confused what it has to do with the friend's parents, the friend is 18yrs old therefore an adult. Now had the parents been the ones to organise trip, make all the arrangements directly with your DD, then that would be another matter.

purplecorkheart · 27/06/2021 21:33

Can your daughter invite a friend or you and book somewhere else?

carerererer · 27/06/2021 21:41

I’m confused what’s happened here.

So the friend’s parents have booked the accommodation as the girls would have been too young to book it themselves?

Is the issue because she’s under 18 an over 21 has to be there?

If it’s a European flight changing the flights probably would have cost the same as buying a new flight - and guessing that’s not the chunk of money that’s been spent? Has your DD got the accommodation fee back?

EduCated · 27/06/2021 21:42

Are the friends parents going? Initially I read it as if DD had been invited on a family holiday, but sounds like actually it’s a group of friends going on holiday without parents/family, but this girl is the ‘leader’?

Unfortunately it was potentially naive not to clarify what the situation with under 18s is, and it may be that the family aren’t aware as it’s not been an issue for them before. I guess better to have it now than realise when they try to check in (and if it is an issue because none of them are over 21, then at least your DD is out of it).

It is pretty crap of them not to link up the person now going with your DD to sort flights

GoWalkabout · 27/06/2021 21:54

Friendships change and booking far ahead is a risk. Going on hol with someone who has drifted from her would be shit anyway. Live and learn.

2021DNA · 27/06/2021 22:05

I though OP read the T&Cs and didn’t agree with their 18 year olds interpretation. Therefore her DD was uninvited and she should cover the flight costs

MrsMiddleMother · 27/06/2021 22:14

Don't know why you and you're daughter didn't check out the accommodation online yourselves and check t&Cs before booking a plane ticket. Ridiculous to message the parents, its really nothing to do with them.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 27/06/2021 23:24

This is absolutely nothing to do with the girl's mother. The organiser probably didn't even think about your DD being under age. However you as her mother should be fully aware of her age and flagged that it could be an issue. It's fairly standard that minors can't rent accommodation.
It's also unlikely the ticket can be transferred. See if the airline has a covid policy, you might get credit for the flight value. I doubt your DD will want to fly on the same plane as friends even if staying elsewhere so I wouldn't book alternative accommodation as others have suggested. I think she will just have to suck it up to be honest.

Bryonyshcmyony · 27/06/2021 23:29

The only person at fault is the girl who has disinvited the Ops dd.

I'd definitely contact the mum in a friendly way to ask if anyone else wanted the ticket and take it from there.

Wallpapering · 27/06/2021 23:42

Wouldn’t of the accommodation on the resort required everyone’s names and possibly d.o.b when initially booking it? And not just lead name.

WaltzingBetty · 28/06/2021 06:01

[quote Canileavenow]@canigooutyet - it wasn't a case of assuming the t&cs didn't apply to my DD. We only looked them up when the issue arose. At the time of booking the flight there was no reason to assume she couldn't legitimately stay there, especially in view of the fact that this resort is well known to the family, and in any case as someone suggested above one would assume they would have checked out any issues prior to offering the invitation.

Thanks everyone for your responses![/quote]
Do they even know when your DD's birthday is? Why would they?
They obviously checked their DD was old enough . Why didn't you check yours was?

Regardless it is rubbish for your DD but I think trying to make it the other parents' fault won't help you

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