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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14 year old dd pierced her own nose

81 replies

gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:16

I’m so angry. She did it a month ago but I’ve only just seen it. We have turned Off all the WiFi she is refusing to take it out I am so shocked she has done this. She has pierced her own ears before and now has 4 holes but I never thought she’d do this. I have long suspected she has aspergers as both my siblings have it. I don’t know what to do I am so upset

OP posts:
RandomMess · 25/01/2021 19:18

Why are you upset about it?

The health risk?
The look?

Original poster
gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:18

She has had the most normal stable upbringing, but since age 12 has been defiant rebellious and difficult. I just don’t know what to do with her

OP posts:
rainbowdashsneeze · 25/01/2021 19:18

My daughter did this she is 13.... I ended up taking her to a piercing shop to have it done.

doctorhamster · 25/01/2021 19:19

She's had a nose piercing for a month and you've only just noticed?

Iheartmysmart · 25/01/2021 19:19

Oh dear! To be honest I did the same at that age. If she is refusing to take it out then perhaps just make sure she has what she needs to keep it clean and prevent infection. The bigger deal it becomes the more likely she is to keep it in.

Original poster
gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:19

Both! I can’t believe she did it herself for one thing and also yes the look, as it makes her look older than she is and I asked her to wait until she’s 16

OP posts:
ofwarren · 25/01/2021 19:20

What makes you think she has Asperger's?
I have it and so does my eldest son and we are definitely not rebellious or difficult, if anything we love rules.

Original poster
gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:20

I didn’t notice as she’s been taking it out when she comes downstairs

OP posts:
cupofteaaa · 25/01/2021 19:20

Personally think this is totally normal teenage behaviour and it's also a bit of a trend on tik tok. Think most have done worse as teens OP...

multiplemum3 · 25/01/2021 19:21

This is normal for a teenager, it's just a piercing. I think your reaction is going to make her rebel much more.

ScrapThatThen · 25/01/2021 19:21

Normal. Kicking against the boundaries in a safe way. You don't always have to crack down, sometimes you need to bend.

Original poster
gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:22

Why I think she might have aspergers..Lots of things..hates touch, struggles socially, has high anxiety with lots of melt downs..cahms involved doing screening soon. Other things too many too list

OP posts:
MaMisled · 25/01/2021 19:22

I did it at 14,nusing neopolitan ice cream to numb it. My kids pierced each others one day aged 18, 15 and 14. Its normal teenage stuff. Pick your battles, there's worse to come!

BlowDryRat · 25/01/2021 19:22

Sounds like normal teenage behaviour to me.

Original poster
gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:22

Aibu to be angry then I just don’t know how to handle it

OP posts:
TheGriffle · 25/01/2021 19:23

It’s a bit silly of her taking it in and out, especially if it’s not been pierced long. I had mine in for 6 months, dd pulled it out by accident and within 15 mins it had healed up already so I couldn’t get the stud back through.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it. My dad did similar and pierced his own ears 50 years ago so it’s nothing new.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 25/01/2021 19:23

Tell her next time she wants something pierced she should ask you and you will take her somewhere reputable. I would have thought if it's not infected by now it's fine. Just encourage her to keep it clean. Why have you not noticed before? Does she keep taking it out? Tell her it's safer to keep it in. Why have you taken her WiFi off her? Teens are horrendously isolated at the moment. Do you want to make it worse. Not sure why you have a problem. Have you never done things to make you feel happy about your appearance??

Original poster
gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:23

Maybe I needed to hear these replies thank you. It was just an hour ago so when I’ve calmed down I will be able to think clearer

OP posts:
BlowDryRat · 25/01/2021 19:24

X-post. The piercing and being a PITA is normal teenage stuff. The concerns in your latest post are of course valid and I'm glad you're supporting her by getting CAMHS involved.

doctorhamster · 25/01/2021 19:24

She definitely needs to not be taking it in and out, it'll get infected. I honestly think you're overreacting op. Teenagers do stupid shit and this isn't that bad. Try telling her you love it and you're thinking of getting yours done.

Original poster
gingganggooleywotsit · 25/01/2021 19:24

Thank you for these replies..food for thought maybe I’m overreacting

OP posts:
Madwomanuptheroad29 · 25/01/2021 19:24

Pick your battles and ignore. Turning off WiFi will not resolve it. If she wants to have piercings, look a certain way there is nothing you can do except create battlegrounds and have fights you can't possibly win.

DancingWithWillard · 25/01/2021 19:24

I do t understand why you think a nose piercing is more outrageous than 4 piercings in each ear, they really aren’t a big deal. I’m 40 in a very responsible respectable job and people rarely even notice mine let alone think less of me for it.

Mrsjayy · 25/01/2021 19:24

I'd just let her have it make sure she keeps it clean the more you say no to things like this the more she will keep piercing herself say it's nice bit ask her to stopDIY . Why do you think she has ASN she is a teenager they do rebel and want to do things like piercing and what not.

Whatwouldscullydo · 25/01/2021 19:24

I did this and put about 5/6 more holes in my ears...

I wouldn't know whether to be angry or impressed Blush

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