14 year old dd pierced her own nose

[gingganggooleywotsit]

I’m so angry. She did it a month ago but I’ve only just seen it. We have turned Off all the WiFi she is refusing to take it out I am so shocked she has done this. She has pierced her own ears before and now has 4 holes but I never thought she’d do this. I have long suspected she has aspergers as both my siblings have it. I don’t know what to do I am so upset

I'm slightly perplexed at the switching off of the Wi-Fi, what's the reasoning there?

I did this at a similar age. Best she keeps it in and keeps it clean.

@gingganggooleywotsit

She has had the most normal stable upbringing, but since age 12 has been defiant rebellious and difficult. I just don’t know what to do with her

One of more me did self piercings. More than once. Despite my protestations that I would take them to a tattoo parlour to get them done properly. I wasn’t delighted. However it did turn out that at least she had researched how to do it aseptically, had sterilised the needle, etc. So that was something and at least a sign there was still a brain in there.

She’s not living in a squat, injecting heroin, so try to keep as calm as you can. If she is doing it to rebel, giving her a very emotional reaction is just playing into her hands. If she is “just” eccentric or possibly aspie, ranting about her stable upbringing won’t make any sense to her and you’re just expending emotional energy pointlessly.

You mention the Aspergers thing almost in passing. Do you think she should be assessed? Do you think you properly understand what Aspergers is? Or do you think of it as condition that makes people “defiant and difficult”?

I'd be annoyed but agree it's teenage actions

One of mine has a "respectful" job but has many ear piercings In different bits of her ears she started around 13.

I used to always pierce my ears as a teenager. My sister got her belly button without telling my mum. My friend got a tattoo on someone’s kitchen table in year 11. It’s just typical teenage behaviour OP. The more you overreact the more she’ll probably want more 😂
YANBU to be angry, but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter? She’ll have to take it out for school anyway, I assume.

I have Asperger's and I would never dream of making a hole in myself so I think those two things might not be directly correlated.

Nothing useful to add, I'm sorry.

“One of my DD did self piercings”, is what I was trying to say.

Thank you it’s just everyone around me seems to have sensible young acting kids who would never do something like this..it’s just it always seems to be my kid causing trouble I don’t know why..I was a horror at 14, worse than her so it’s my genes I expect 😞

I agree - pick your battles and ignore. Turning off the wifi isn't good for the mental health of a locked down teen. A nose piercing isn't the end of the world. It's not permanent. She can take it out when she's older if she wants to.

You are massively overreacting. She's asserting ownership over her body. A nose piercing is not a big deal. Get her to buy a proper hypoallergenic stud and stop taking it out.

Thank you @bitheby you are probably right it’s not related sometimes I just don’t understand her

How have you just noticed I mean it's on her face!

@Mrsjayy she’s been hiding it from me taking it out when she goes downstairs

@RickiTarr I don’t think that..sorry if it came across that way

Well she needs to either keep it in or out.

I'm surprised it hasn't healed over with her taking it in and out. My first nose piercing healed over in no time, there's not even a mark where it was.

Did did her own recently. She's applying for medicine and is sensible. It's self expression and they could be doing worse things. It's the hiding it because she knows you're going to overreact that is the issue. Teens are hard, you need to pick your battles.

Talk to her and establish whether she knows how to take care of it properly. That’s the real priority.

Personally my kiddies have pearcings all over their bodies my 17 year old has a belly button pearcing

Interested how people self pierced ?
Only coz I'm tempted myself!!

I did similar at 14. I agree it's potentially dangerous (infection etc) but it's surprisingly common!

Needle 5 yr old Listerine and/or a cigarette lighter.

Not advised for now though

At 14 I'd got my nose pierced, snakebites (either side of bottom lip), my tongue and all 4 sides of my belly button! That wasn't including all the piercings I gave myself and my friends with a bar of soap a lighter and an ear stud in our ears 😄 oh to be 14 again!

Op, when I was 14 I went out and got pretty large tattoo on my bikini line. I had already pierced my own ears and nose like your daughter. I also became sexually actively and started drinking and smoking the same year. Did I cause my parents some nightmares? For sure. But the more they fought back against me, the more suffocated and stifled I felt, The worse I did.

I went onto get a whole load more tattoos that I adore. Despite the people telling me how much I would regret them blah blah - I don't. I got a degree and a masters despite dropping out of school at 15 after the parents wanted me to do A levels / Russell group uni instead of art and design or zoology which were my absolute passions.

I've turned out to be really we rounded but even so I look back and think "wtf was I thinking!?" . I was a monster of a teen. Sneaking out at night to go drinking and clubbing, disappearing for days at an end.