Son takes £180 out of the cash machine the day he gets paid every month for this year

[Lee2628]

Thoughts? His 17 lives in our house for free as well as food paid for so what could this be?

@RaspberryCoulis

Maybe he's paying it into a high-interest savings account.

My 17 year old could spend £180 a month on steak bakes from Greggs. Easy.

Rather than speculating wildly about drugs, maybe the OP could just ask him?

If he's managed to find a high interest savings account he should be celebrated

One of my DC is saving up for something and wanted to do that and could barely find a 1% interest rate.

Without stating the bleedin obvious the only way to find out is to ask him

Well he knows my opinion on drugs and if it’s anything to do with drugs he’s getting kicked out the house

Way to go in ensuring he doesn't come to you if he needs help with something he's got out of his depth with.

@BecomeStronger that's what I thought.
I don't get why kicking them out would be the first option

@Sparklingbrook

I don't think it's on to open up a 17 year old's post. Is he asking you for money on top of his wages? I think have a chat would be the first thing I would do.

Families are different, in my house we often leave opened letters on the hall table before taking them to bedrooms or filing away, I wouldn't need to open any of my DCs letters to see their bank transactions

I can't see where the OP says she actually opened his post,

Don't be so ridiculous, OP. Kicking a 17 year old out for smoking a bit of green? Give your head a shake and get on with it! Or maybe you need to join him in his habit.

I can't see where the OP says she actually opened his post,

No, but not said they didn't.

In my house all DC's post gets put in their rooms for them to do with as they wish, I would not be looking. I wouldn't be looking at their opened post either.

You’re going to have a great relationship with him
Looking through his private stuff, assuming it’s drugs, should he actually need help he won’t be able to come to you as you’ll kick him out no questions.

He's sure going to be glad to leave you behind one day soon.

Possibly too suspicious but I would be looking at drugs.

Is there anything in his behaviour to suggest drugs op rather than just contemplating kicking your kid out on the street on the basis of MN hypothesising?
16k is a big wage at 17, is he going out lots and feeling the need to flash the cash and keep up with everyone else to show how grown up he is?
Could he be saving it and know of its in his bank he'll spend it?
Have you tried asking in a non accusatory manner?

Ask him, have a rational conversation with him.

Do you have a suspicion that he’s taking drugs?

Unless there’s a massive drip feed here you’re being totally unreasonable. How do you know he never seems to have any money?
Maybe he withdraws the £180 and once he’s spent whats in his wallet he doesn’t dip into the rest hence why he’s always skint.

Is is possible he’s lending friends money? Also I never know you could withdraw cash in £5 increments misses point of post

I would want to know too OP, he's 17.

Teenagers IME do not spend any cash at all so I would say it's most unlikely to be for travel, lunch, cigarettes etc.

It’s impossible for anyone here to know for sure, I was earning as a teenager and would take out a lump sum every month, didn’t spend any on drugs. I would save some as cash and use the rest however I wanted.
He’s 17 and I’m not sure why it’s any of your business.

Missing point but weed costs that much?! Jesus when I was at uni it was £20 a bag

@wizzbangfizz

Missing point but weed costs that much?! Jesus when I was at uni it was £20 a bag

I know! And 10 fags were a quid!

Maintenance for a secret child that he’s not told you about because you’re nosey and interfering.

It sounds like a perfectly normal amount to spend to me- my 18yo is too tight to buy lunches but if he did, a sandwich with a drink and some sort of dessert would easily cost that over a month.

Well he knows my opinion on drugs and if it’s anything to do with drugs he’s getting kicked out the house

Oh for god's sake!

You don't even know that there is anything to do with drugs! But sure jump to conclusions and start snooping at his stuff and start the whole talk of kicking him out.
Do you know where that will lead to .......... Heartache. Just pure and utter heartache.

How silly to jump to the conclusion that he is buying drugs. He would show definite signs of drug taking if that was the case.

You should not have looked at your son's bank statement and drawing £180 a month is not a great deal of cash; you say he draws other odd amounts at times. Having a bit of cash is handy for all sorts of things, not just drugs.

I never knew what my son spent his money on at that age and it wouldn't have occurred to me to worry about it. He had £120 per calendar month from me and whatever he earned from Saturday and holiday job. What he did with it was his business.

Revised my opinion,he’s saving up for a deposit on a flat so he won’t get his bank statements snooped on.