Coats, teens and open school windows.

[TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince]

It’s cold where l live.

All windows at school are open due to Corona. Dd has one day where she is sat next to a window 3 lessons in a row. Her hands are too cold to write. She goes outside, gets wet and then sits by an open cold window. She had thermal vests, but will not wear a coat. She admits she’s freezing.

At least a coat would keep the rain off. What do l do. It gets really cold where l am. She moans she’s cold all the time. It’s going to get much worse in mid winter.

😖any advice?

@TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince

Fishie- you’ve really got it in for me!!!😁

I know it is!!! That’s why I’m having this battle with her.

I don't have it in for you I just don't understand the point in the post.

Let's go back to the suggestion you made of emailing her teacher. What were you going to say? That's she won't wear a coat? The teacher will say just send it in with her anyway. Then what do you say? 'Oh, she doesn't actually have a coat'!

Buy your child a coat.

Just ask her to be moved away from the open window. My DD happily sits near the open window, but her teacher has told me she will move DD if she is finding it too cold. There's usually one child in each class that doesn't feel the cold and happily runs around on the snow wearing just a t-shirt. They'd probably love to sit next to the window.

@zaphodbeeble

Lots of our pupils are bringing blankets to class

Dear God I think our local academy would collapse and die from shock if the kids considered that! They're still trying to get them to just go in in their blazers!

Mine are wearing long sleeve thermal tops under their uniform and if they get colder I'll buy them a school colour fleece to go over their jumpers... they'll be looking like the Michelin man by February!

I get your daughter's coat thing though - I hate wearing them. I just feel like my arms are tied down by them - it's really hard to explain but it has to be SERIOUSLY FUCKING COLD before I'll crack and put a coat on and even then it drives me barmy.

Hey OP I really feel for you. All the posters saying buy her a coat doesn't solve the problem if she won't wear it.
I refused to wear a coat from about the age of 12, I'm now later 30's and still don't own one.
I hate everything about them, they are restrictive and uncomfortable. I would and do prefer to be wet and cold. My mum still occasionally nags me to get one

I also have the same with hats and scarves. I've just managed wearing gloves when it's bitterly cold and I have to shovel snow.

I think I would buy her a 'just in case' coat and have no expectation that she will wear it and tell her that. Provide a pair of gloves and make sure she has thermals, hand warmers etc which you have.

Email the teacher, explain about her sensory issues and ask that she only sits by the window one lesson not 3 in a row.

All the angst is them removed, she has choices and you have done everything you can which should reduce the guilt.

DS has ASD and major sensory issues, he is always cold and will wear a hat, scarf, coat and thermals all day if he could! We are all different.

Good luck!

What about if in our case the secondary school have emailed saying if your child is cold they may wear thermals or leggings under uniform but the kids cannot wear a class in school as affects their learning?

IME down type jackets and coats are definitely lighter and less restrictive than thick wool ones or parkas

I’m now worrying about getting a coat for my 2 yo for this winter in case it’s too restrictive and give her a lasting coat complex!

Just buy a cheap primark one! 20 quid for a black padded jacket.

A buff round her neck could also be used as a face covering in corridors so dual use. They can really help with feeling cosy.

Definitely try a thin down hooded jacket, my DD also hates coats but the very lightweight ones ok. Ours is uniqlo think have similar in primark. Not the big puffa ones the ribbed type down jackets.

Also definitely wrist warmers

Sorry if this has been suggested but our school is allowing fleeces/hoodie in the right colour so navy or black plain though.
Is that allowed? I think it’s bloody miserable and will be horrible if it snows.we have these crap thin demountable things with cardboard thin walls.
The teachers will be freezing too.

All the posters saying buy her a coat doesn't solve the problem if she won't wear it.

No, it doesn't solve the problem, not ultimately at the moment she isn't wearing a coat because she doesn't have a coat. OP should provide a coat, it's at the most basic level of clothing provision. If she then does not wear the coat it is 100% her doing if she is cold. Right now she is cold because she has no coat.

Would she be up for taking a spare jumper so if hers gets wet en route or at lunch, she can swap it for a dry one from her bag? DD2 has her raincoat in a sturdy zipped wallet thing in her school bag and swaps it for her blazer when it rains. An umbrella might help keep the rain off a bit? Or a giant rain poncho?

Wristies are definitely the way forward for cold hands. They're not restrictive and fussy in the same way gloves can be but by keeping the wrists warm, fingers don't get so cold. My DDs both have black fleece wristies because of playing in brass bands at outdoor carol events and both find them effective (I have one DD who feels the cold and one who denies its existence).

You mentioned earlier that emailing the school might be an option. I'd absolutely do this - either the head of year or her form tutor to let them know she's really struggling with feeling cold in class and being next to the window even though she is wearing thermals under her uniform. My cold-denying DD would be thrilled to swap seats with a chilly peer as she's always complaining classrooms are too hot.

My 12yo won't wear one either. Last we compromised on thermals, scarf and gloves. This year I've bought a fiat she chose herself but she's still refusing to wear it. In her case it's because they have to carry everything all day as there are no lockers. Grr.

*coat. Not flat

Have you tried a coat from the tall range?

All my coat were from the tall ranges as a teen. The costs were better proportioned and felt less restrictive across my shoulders

On a practical level, is there a friend that she dresses like? Could you ring their mum and find out what coat they have and order the same / similar one.

Alternatively a plain black pea coat goes with that skater type look. Maybe try a soft cotton scarf if she is sensory.

She has a rainproof coat. So she has a coat sufficient for now.

She’s 5ft 10 as it is. I’d love to find a tall coat she likes!

She’s just marched in and shouted ‘I’m never wearing a coat and you can’t make me!!’😂

All the lovely suggestions of fleece and wrist warmers. Not only does she have sensory issues she’s ultra sensitive to stuff. Fleece, wool, acrylic all give her really bad eczema.

I’ve already got o e thread going on silk thermals as the ones she has have caused a massive eczema flare!😖

Did you really ask if fleece was waterproof?

Are you sure you have brought up 4 teens?

I would buy a cheap coat for now so the coat is there and the choice is hers, and too much money won't be wasted if she refuses to wear it. Longer term I am baffled as to what you can do. If being cold and wet is less unpleasant to her than wearing a coat is, I don't see how you will ever get her to wear a coat. I'd ask teachers if she can be moved away from windows and explain the situation very honestly. Other than that, I have no idea. Are there no forums for people with sensory issues that could provide more insight?

If she’s 5’ 10’ ASOS, Dorothy Perkins, New Look and TopShop all do Tall ranges if you get to the point where she might consider a coat.

I know it’s not waterproof really!! I was just hoping. But all the others wore bloody coats. Then Little Miss Contrary arrived.

She likes walking in the rain with no coat..... l swear she does it on purpose!

It's cold here too. My Dd's school had been letting them wear plain black hoodies over their uniform but is now banning this. They won't let them wear coats once they get to school either (even plain black ones). Dd has been in hoodies so I feel really sorry for them not being allowed anything more than a school jumper with all the windows open come January. We've got thermals for under her uniform but they need to be allowed to wear warmer clothes.

I just came across this and thought of this thread, but now I see she reacts to fleece.

However, might lead you somewhere.

This is a batter heated scarf with warmed pockets too. There are usb ones too which I am guessing would plug into a portable battery thing.

Bits and Pieces - Micro Fleece Battery-operated Heated Scarf - 66" Long www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B017Y4BI1E/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_i_rHeLFb0V90P0Q?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Looks interesting!

She hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday though.😞I’ll bring it up when her majesty deigns to speak.

Seeing you raised others successfully are you sure you aren't going easy and spoiling the baby? You might not see it.