Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
Nimello · 04/07/2020 19:17

Crossed with your latest post, OP. I also wonder about a second phone or a secret device. My children all tried that one...

gotothecooler · 04/07/2020 19:18

I would call the police and I wouldn't say another word to her about it tbh. That just gives her a chance to hide things. This is something you need to have investigated properly.

Intelinside57 · 04/07/2020 19:18

You have to stay calm, you really, really must not lose your shit or be stressy with her. If you haven't already bloody well stop prevaricating and wake her up for the talk. When you say you're going to contact the police, you need to mean it and follow through, I should imagine you'll need to do that regardless of what the reason is, it's not going to be anything you should keep between yourselves.

Itsjustabitofbanter · 04/07/2020 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sawyersfishbiscuits · 04/07/2020 19:19

Wow OP. I think everyone else has said it all. It obviously sounds dodgy but I hope for both your sakes it's something innocent.

BobFleming · 04/07/2020 19:20

I'd be very concerned.

BobbieDraper · 04/07/2020 19:20

It could be many many things or it could be nothing. We're all suggesting things, which probably isnt helpful but I guess everyone gets quite concerned when its children in these situations.

The best thing is for you to be as prepared as possible. Go through her bank statement, with her or alone and see how often this has happened. Go through all her social media private messages and her emails. Again, with her or alone.

Have as much info as you can get, and also do the talk as calmly as possible whilst being very clear that you will call the police for help.

It could be nothing but, if it is, she still spent the money. It still needs a hard hand to deal with it.

WhySoSexist · 04/07/2020 19:20

If it were drugs then she'd be paid in cash. My guess is that she's camgirling - I used to make around £100ph. They ask for ID but if she got a fake one or edited a scan of her passport then she could be getting away with it. Having said that, it could be someone accidentally put it into her account and she just spent it knowing she shouldn't have. Try googling the account it came from.

areyoubeingserviced · 04/07/2020 19:20

Even if it is something relatively innocent such as being Social media influencer , you need to find out where the money comes from. She is a child and shouldn’t be receiving such large amounts of cash.

Webcam videos is what came to mind

Dominicgoings · 04/07/2020 19:21

‘For all those saying go straight to the police, you have not got a clue, how things run afterwards.

Keep calm op, get all those transactions sent straight back to the account they came from and get the account closed and the number changed. I have a feeling her friends are probably involved too.

You need the facts, and keep calm, your opening a can of worms.’

That is spectacularly shit advice. This is not Miss Fucking Marple Hmm

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 04/07/2020 19:21

Please come back to tell us that you have woken her up from her “ nap “.
As others have said she was probably spending this time deleting things on her phone and other devices. You really have no option but to phone the police with or without her consent.

Stellakent · 04/07/2020 19:23

OP I know nothing about this sort of thing (I'm truly shocked reading on here about the things teenage girls are doing for money) but even I think you're utterly deluded. This is no kind of mistake.

Lockdownseperation · 04/07/2020 19:24

As an ex secondary school teacher this sent cold shivers down my spine. Your child is very probably being exploited, probably sex or drugs. I would be contacting the police and Ss.

Iflyaway · 04/07/2020 19:24

It’s probably just a wrong account number.

Well, could be. But wouldn't your 14-year old come to you to say "Hey mum, this is really weird, I've suddenly had 6 deposits in my bank account totalling £500,--, "

The bank is only a phone call away to check that one.

AlexaShutUp · 04/07/2020 19:24

That is spectacularly shit advice.

Agreed. Not helpful at all.

averysuitablegirl · 04/07/2020 19:24

Maybe give OP a bit of time and space to process this and decide how to approach it with her dd?

She must be out of her mind with worry, but the good thing is that now she knows, she can start getting to the bottom of it.

Stay calm OP. You're doing very well. I agree that reiterating to your dd that she is not going to get into trouble and that lots of children get themselves into situations that they don't fully understand because they're children. It's nothing for her to be ashamed of, and you can help her sort it out.

Bioprepper · 04/07/2020 19:26

I’ve got a daughter the same age and if this was me she would be going for no ‘nap’ we’d be sorting it out! No way can the OP be as worried as she makes out then let’s her go for a nap

isthismylifenow · 04/07/2020 19:27

@WineLife

It may well be that she’s being sent gifts for ‘going live’ online. I can’t remember which social media app it is, I’ll ask my dd in a minute, but basically they put the camera onto live streaming and then just film themselves, sometimes with a friend, sometimes alone. It can be the most mundane thing (I’ve seen some some girls ‘go live’ whilst washing up and tidying the kitchen🙄) just pottering around their room, singing along to songs, mucking about with their friends, whatever. Most only allow their friends to ‘join the live’ but some have to open so that anyone can join and watch. The people watching can comment and send gifts. The gifts can range in price from a couple of quid to hundreds of pounds.

I only know this as my 14 year old dd has been watching someone’s live in the past and I’ve asked what it was. One that struck me was one girl (someone my daughter knows from school) who was just chatting to the camera while listening to music and doing her hair in her room and some random was repeatedly sending her £50 gifts! You can see a little icon of who’s sending it and it was clearly some gross old man but the girl was just saying oh thanks thanks every time he sent a gift and he just kept sending them. Apparently the money goes straight into your bank or Paypal.

This is quite frightening. I have a teen dd and didn't know about this.
Trailing1 · 04/07/2020 19:28

Could it be from a grand parent or relative? Although the several deposits in one day seems strange. I hope it turns out okay and nothing sinister

Lollypop4 · 04/07/2020 19:29

Insane that youve not called the police.
Do not underestimate your child!

I hope it is proven to be a mistake but It likely isnt!

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 04/07/2020 19:29

@Lockdownseperation I totally agree with you. I have had 30 years of secondary school teaching too.

Spanishmama0114 · 04/07/2020 19:30

There is no way her bank would just agree to trf the money back out of the account into the account it came from. This would never happen

AlexaShutUp · 04/07/2020 19:31

I'm hoping that the OP is either talking to her daughter or on the phone to the police right now.

Cherrybakewellard · 04/07/2020 19:33

There are so many alarm bells ringing here. Please talk to her immediately and involve the police if needed.

LesLavandes · 04/07/2020 19:33

Get the account suspended immediately until further investigation. Call the police

Swipe left for the next trending thread