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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
safariboot · 04/07/2020 23:59

I don't know if it applies in this specific case, but when it comes to investigating money laundering banks legally cannot do anything that's considered "tipping off". And since some banks have been fined billions of pounds for breaking such laws they're very cautious about it.

chubbyhotchoc · 05/07/2020 00:00

My teenage sister was making hundreds from
A guy that just wanted her to send him abusive text messages. You'd be surprised what girls make money from these days

84claire84 · 05/07/2020 00:00

For what it's worth OP I think your doing absolutely the right thing here.

She's safe and you've given her time to tell you before speaking to the police.

I think there is certainly something untoward going on, as I'm sure you do too. I think by reassurance that she's not in trouble and that your there to support her, you will get to the bottom of it.

I just want to send you a hug. I was a very troubled teenager and when I think back to some of the very dangerous situations I got in, all I wanted was my mum and she didn't give a damn about me or if I ever returned home. Please just show her your there and you can help make this better

Iflyaway · 05/07/2020 00:04

"You'd think that the banks would have software to detect patterns like this"

Of course they do!

WTF can't they do the same thing here and query it with a childs parents or gaurdians?.

Ummm, cos Banks are not responsible for "parents and guardians" maybe...?
Parents and Guardians are adults. You know. Those that take care of their kids.

A bank is a business.

ssd · 05/07/2020 00:19

This is scary

Mrskeats · 05/07/2020 00:19

Kids call them 'pay pigs' round here.
Rich men want to be 'humiliated' by giving away their money. It's fairly common.

Jeremyironsnothing · 05/07/2020 00:49

I think you are handling it well too.

She might think you are bluffing about the police. She might cave at the last minute.

Papergirl1968 · 05/07/2020 00:55

Whether or not it is Deets and squares, thank you for raising awareness of it.
I have two teenage dds, and I used to work for the police. I knew all about grooming but Deets and squares - nope, I’d heard nothing.

blueshoes · 05/07/2020 01:34

If it is sex grooming, it is strange that all 6 payments are made in the same day. I would have thought it would be more likely to be spread out over time. All in the same day sounds like money laundering.

Cordial11 · 05/07/2020 01:39

OP if it is this money laundering scam, how much has she spent? More then her 'cut'? I am seriously worried for her

Buttybach · 05/07/2020 01:58

I hope you get to the bottom of it x it's a frightening world for today's teens

BertieBotts · 05/07/2020 05:54

Oh come on, how is she going to "warn people" if she is right by her mum (so no access to potential secret phone) plus has no phone on her?

Teens often react/co-operate better if they feel you are on their side, which is not generally well achieved by going mental unless they tell the truth right now this second.

WelshMoth · 05/07/2020 08:34

I only knew about County Lines. This thread is an eye opener.

WelshMoth · 05/07/2020 08:34

I only knew about County Lines. This thread is an eye opener.

Redred2429 · 05/07/2020 08:43

Op check internet history in case she has set up another email address it may be in her history

SchadenfreudePersonified · 05/07/2020 08:47

Teenagers certainly do nap!!!!!

You aren't kidding!

Mine practically hibernated!

Takingontheworld · 05/07/2020 08:48

[quote netflixismysidehustle]Something is really wrong. Have you discussed deets and squares with her?

www.safe4me.co.uk/2019/06/04/deets-squares-online-scam-targeting-children-as-young-as-11/[/quote]
Fucking hell.

There is so much i don't know. How do we ever keep up.

Dd slightly too young for this shit yet but i know its coming.

averysuitablegirl · 05/07/2020 08:48

You're handling this so well OP. I'm full of admiration. You were so right to check your dd's bank account. That's something else that I've learnt - I was going to encourage my dd to switch to paperless but I won't now. I want to be able to access her statements.

Hope that today goes well. Take care.

Rollergirl11 · 05/07/2020 08:51

When you say you have checked her SM, have you checked obvious things like her Instagram and Snapchat accounts are set to private? How many followers does she have on Instagram? If she has loads the chances are her account is public which is really very unsafe. What kind of things is she posting? How many comments does she get? Do they all appear to be from friends? If everything looks above board in that respect is it possible that she has another IG account with less appropriate content on it? If she has another account linked on her phone you can tell by going to the little people icon on the bottom far right, then you click on the username with a little ^ arrow next to it. If there is more than one account then you will see it listed here and you can toggle and select it here.

Does she have other apps like Tellonym or YOLO. These are anonymous messaging apps that allow anyone to leave anonymous comments. Lots of nudes and body pics can be requested in this way.

Splodgetastic · 05/07/2020 09:12

@Viviennemary I can't see it being money laundering either for the relatively paltry sum of £500. I'd say photos or videos.

The small amounts are indicative of the layering stage in the process of money laundering. The whole process is placement, layering and then integration.

Headandheart · 05/07/2020 09:15

I was only thinking yesterday about letting 13 year old dd have her own bank account. This has put me off.

missbipolar · 05/07/2020 09:29

@headandheart you could look at something like gohenry? So they feel like they have an account but it's fully controlled

Bramleyapples13 · 05/07/2020 09:32

Having worked on a safeguarding department for years with the Police, Social Services and schools, a teenager receiving large amounts of money from someone you don't know then her being funny about telling you where, who and why it's there is a massive red flag. She doesn't have to be going anywhere to meet people to be at risk. She could be safe at home but someone(s) are exploiting her for pictures etc. I appreciate giving her time to tell you but if there is someone exploiting her then chances are she isn't the only one. As such, there could be other children at risk and not telling the police allows that to take place. Speaking to the police allows them to do some digging into the bank transactions and investigate it further therefore protecting her and any others. It also gives her less time to warn anyone and the person sending her money to get away. The vast majority of children being groomed will do anything to protect the person(s) grooming them because they think it's not as bad as adults make out.

If she has a better explanation for where the money is from that's different. But as it stands her current explanation is 'off' to me.

Bramleyapples13 · 05/07/2020 09:33

I'd also be checking for another phone or SIM card you may not know about.

Positivevibesonlyplease · 05/07/2020 09:35

As I’ve said, it will be reported to police first thing tomorrow morning. You’ve handled this so well, @MummyInTheNecropolis Hope you manage to get it sorted once and for all and thank you for raising awareness of this. Think it’ll make us all that bit more alert. Good luck for tomorrow Flowers