Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
SingingInTheShithouse · 04/07/2020 21:46

Agree this is a massive sexual exploitation flag. DD knows a girl who was selling nudes of herself & video chats to dirty old men at 16. Again making a ton of money out of it. Check her Instagram & any other similar accounts including private messages

SingingInTheShithouse · 04/07/2020 21:46

Agree this is a massive sexual exploitation flag. DD knows a girl who was selling nudes of herself & video chats to dirty old men at 16. Again making a ton of money out of it. Check her Instagram & any other similar accounts including private messages

phoenixearthworm · 04/07/2020 21:47

DS (15) said it is most likely that she is being groomed.

Spanishmama0114 · 04/07/2020 21:48

@Livelovebehappy

Be very careful with reporting to the bank too. Any sniff of fraud being carried out by using her account as a mule, her account will be closed down and her name placed on CIFAS, which means she will struggle to open a new account or get credit for years. The bank does not care if she claims exploitation or coercion.
The only way the bank won't find out is if the op, foolishly, decides to ignore this. The police will contact them, and as I mentioned before it will, probably, result in the bank giving notice to close the account and it is very unlikely that she will be able to get an account again with any lender, in fact any type of mainstream credit at all will be extremely difficult. All this will be terrible for her dd but to ignore it may be 100% worse for her.
FloreanFortescue · 04/07/2020 21:49

Very eye opening thread. I have to agree that there's something extremely fishy here and you're right to tread carefully. She needs to trust you to confess.

Socialdistancegintonic · 04/07/2020 21:55

I hope that you have contacted the police. You won’t get her into trouble. She is in trouble!

She doesn’t know it and you need to step up and make sure this is dealt with - it could be any number of things but many will likely escalate if this is not sorted professional with outside professionals.

Gazelda · 04/07/2020 22:03

Good advice to turn the WiFi off tonight.

And please call the police tomorrow - whatever she's involved with, she'll be treated fairly and as a victim to protect.

It sounds as though your strategy today has paid off and she's coming round to trusting you. Hopefully she'll feel a whole load of relief once she'd shared the truth.

justasking111 · 04/07/2020 22:05

I have learnt a lot today on this thread, never heard of deets and squares to start with.

Ylvamoon · 04/07/2020 22:05

I agree, police is the only way forward. I understand it's scary and difficult but whoever is behind this needs to be stopped.

Good luck OP, your DD will be thankful one day that she has someone who looks out for her.

strawberry2017 · 04/07/2020 22:07

I hope she comes and tells you the truth, she's obviously mixed up in something and having someone she can talk to is what she needs.
By not over reacting and giving her chance to talk to you hopefully this will strengthen your relationship going forward.
X

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/07/2020 22:14

Moving money through other people's bank accounts is a regular thing, and she us so naive that she is spending it instead.

If that's what's happening the police will be the least of her worries.

People who do this sort of thing don't mess about with polite messages saying "Please may we have our money back."

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 04/07/2020 22:22

I wish you well with your mother-daughter chat, OP and I hope it clarifies matters and that your DD is safe.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/07/2020 22:22

I agree with @SchadenfreudePersonified. This is why police have to be involved.

Good luck OP, I hope she tells you the truth.

NOTANUM · 04/07/2020 22:23

I suspect there is another phone you don't know about..
Sending good wishes your way. A very tricky situation.

DressingGownofDoom · 04/07/2020 22:24

OP if someone is exploiting your child (I really hope that's not the case) they've probably given her a laptop or phone, and told her not to tell you.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 04/07/2020 22:24

Who gives a fuck about a credit rating when a 14 year old could be being exploited hmm

Obviously, safeguarding the girl it’s the prime concern but yes... you should give s fuck about the credit rating of a 14 year old if she gets blacklisted for fraud she won’t be able to get a bank account/credit for years which may ultimately affect her university student loan (yes they will give her the loan but they won’t pay a penny into an account that is NOT hers).

CloudyGladys · 04/07/2020 22:27

Bear in mind that you have probably found out about this because she wants you to have found out, i.e. whatever she is doing is out of her control and she needs you to help her. This is a safeguarding issue and, as PP have said, you need the police.

Are you really sure that she only has the phone you have given her?

Somethingkindaoooo · 04/07/2020 22:28

@UnshakenNeedsStirring

Why is she napping> Teenagers dont nap? Shes not a toddler. You seem to be too blasé about this whole thing
Teenagers certainly do nap!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
gotothecooler · 04/07/2020 22:30

Obviously, safeguarding the girl it’s the prime concern but yes... you should give s fuck about the credit rating of a 14 year old if she gets blacklisted for fraud she won’t be able to get a bank account/credit for years which may ultimately affect her university student loan (yes they will give her the loan but they won’t pay a penny into an account that is NOT hers).

Don't be so fucking ridiculous.

I don't know if you are the person I was responding to in the part you have quoted and have name changed or if you have just decided to take my response and reply but either way credit ratings should absolutely not be a deciding factor in what to do here Hmm

Worstemailever · 04/07/2020 22:37

Well, she certainly sounds like she is working her way up to a confession of sorts. She will claim to have made enquiries about it, then probably will claim, either that they went ahead with it after she had considered it and changed her mind, or will say that someone must have seen her bank card/details. She will try to act innocent and offer you a half truth. I hope that you get the full truth. It's a tricky balance though. If you emphasize the seriousness of the crime and the links to organised crime, you may scare her into keeping quiet. Oth, you need to gently let her know that it is a serious issue. One thought though is whether she has opened up any other bank accounts that you are unaware of. It might be worth double checking. It's a scary world out there and a very different one to that which we grew up in.

SunshineThelma · 04/07/2020 22:43

There have been a few comments about Cifas. I have worked in this field and 1) minors aren't filed to cifas, and 2) as an organisation, Cifas have been getting involved in raising awareness around money muling and running education programmes and have some pretty good resources here - www.moneymules.co.uk.

Report it and add information to getting the people running the show caught. Any information you can give could be the puzzle piece the bank/action fraud/police need to get them. It might be scary in the short term, but it's much, much scarier and could have much worse consequences if you don't.

Feellikedancingyeah · 04/07/2020 22:44

Just contact the police. Asap

jessstan2 · 04/07/2020 22:45

Can you tell from the statement if the money was paid in by cheque, bank transfer or cash? If cash, no one will be able to tell who paid it but if bank transfer, the police will be able to find out. Speak to your daughter, telling her you are considering going to the police about it and does she have anything to tell you. That would be a good first step.

It's very worrying for you as she is only fourteen.

FilledSoda · 04/07/2020 22:45

It's so weird to me that you hesitate to involve the police as you don't want to get her in trouble or that you're telling her you will contact them as a sort of a threat .
She is a child , she is a victim , your job and the job of the police is to safeguard her.
She needs the police .

MrsP2015 · 04/07/2020 22:46

Hope she tells you everything x