Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
Lifeisconfusing · 04/07/2020 21:13

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43897614

Llamazoom · 04/07/2020 21:15

You are handling the situation perfectly op, giving her time to think and talk to you in my opinion is the right thing to do, time for more action in the morning, give her time and be patient, she will come clean to you. She’s safe, she has no internet access. I don’t think it’s drugs, more likely webcam stuff, her friends might be doing it too. It’s not the time to get hysterical and ‘give her the 3rd degree’ as a pp said, you would lose her trust and she would clam up. Only you know your daughter and the best way to play it.

For those saying teens don’t nap, mine do most days.

averysuitablegirl · 04/07/2020 21:15

I have a teenage dd and had never heard of deets and squares.

Thanks to this thread now I do.

I think you're right OP, that she will open up either later on tonight or when she realises that you really are going to call the police.

Well done, this must be such a horrible shock to you but so good that you've found out about it now.

Original poster
MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 21:17

@Lifeisconfusing thank you for that article, I imagine that is exactly the situation DD is in. It’s an interesting (if terrifying) read.

OP posts:
Namechangex10000 · 04/07/2020 21:17

There are other possible ways she has received this money, for example, SHE may be involved in extracting the money.

When I was at school, a few girls used t bunk off and hang out in an old vulnerable mans house opposite, they would steal from him, abuse him, tell him they’d say be touched them up if he didn’t give them money/fags etc. Unfortunately, I dare say every one of those girls mothers would never believe their child would do such a thing, but they were doing it. I’m not saying it is that obviously, but it’s certainly possible and would most definitely lead to her not wanting to admit it, if she had been taken advantage of, she has the get out clause to say that....

Haggisfish · 04/07/2020 21:18

Some of my students send photos to a site called sugar daddy. £50 for foot pic-I can see how they end up embroiled.

GhostTypeEevee · 04/07/2020 21:19

I've a teenage too and I've never heard about Deets and squares so I've had a chat with ds (14) it's not something he's heard about either

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 04/07/2020 21:20

Oh gosh op, this must be so concerning for you!! Hope she tells you everything soon.

averysuitablegirl · 04/07/2020 21:20

Lifeisconfusing that BBC article is really good. It shows very clearly how it is young people who are being exploited and how it's them who will live with the consequences of this for years.

PerfectlyImperfectx · 04/07/2020 21:23

I haven’t rtft but it sounds like she might’ve been recruited as a ‘money mule’ which involves usually fraudulently obtained funds being paid into a persons account with the promise of the account holder keeping a small proportion. Unfortunately, it often ends up with serious and long term implications for the account holder including debt and credit file markers. Hopefully you can have an honest conversation with your DD. Sorry op Sad

Livelovebehappy · 04/07/2020 21:25

Be very careful with reporting to the bank too. Any sniff of fraud being carried out by using her account as a mule, her account will be closed down and her name placed on CIFAS, which means she will struggle to open a new account or get credit for years. The bank does not care if she claims exploitation or coercion.

Ginfordinner · 04/07/2020 21:27

@AlexaShutUp

Qwicky makes a good point about the napping. It isn't normal teenage behaviour. Are you sure she is sleeping right now? If so, I'd be wondering about what she is doing at night.
Of course it's normal teenage behaviour Hmm
TiredMummyXYZ · 04/07/2020 21:27

Could be grooming or county lines. Also worth remembering that she might be afraid to say what’s going on for fear of repercussions - either for herself or her family. I would seek police advice.

gotothecooler · 04/07/2020 21:32

Be very careful with reporting to the bank too. Any sniff of fraud being carried out by using her account as a mule, her account will be closed down and her name placed on CIFAS, which means she will struggle to open a new account or get credit for years. The bank does not care if she claims exploitation or coercion.

She is 14. Advising OP to keep quiet about any of this is dangerous. Who gives a fuck about a credit rating when a 14 year old could be being exploited Hmm

Let's be slightly more logical.

gotothecooler · 04/07/2020 21:32

Be very careful with reporting to the bank too. Any sniff of fraud being carried out by using her account as a mule, her account will be closed down and her name placed on CIFAS, which means she will struggle to open a new account or get credit for years. The bank does not care if she claims exploitation or coercion.

She is 14. Advising OP to keep quiet about any of this is dangerous. Who gives a fuck about a credit rating when a 14 year old could be being exploited Hmm

Let's be slightly more logical.

SunbathingDragon · 04/07/2020 21:32

It’s not an innocent reason that she has that money.

Viviennemary · 04/07/2020 21:33

I've never heard of deets and squares. I think you are being very naive OP with all this my DD never gets a chance to do anything. And as for allowing her time to get her story straight, make up a tale or whatever. Just no. Where has the money come from. Does she genuinely not know in which case it's a banking error and they need to be told. Of does she not want to say. In which case very very dodgy.

notapizzaeater · 04/07/2020 21:36

Have you checked for another phone ? She might be using that ?

wowfudge · 04/07/2020 21:36

I've read your updates OP and think that you must speak to the police whatever she tells you, for your DD's sake.

Snowpatrolling · 04/07/2020 21:38

I never knew about any of this either, so Thankyou all for the new info. I have a 12 year old with a bank account so can have a chat with her about it.

Op good luck. This parenting crap is bloody scary sometimes!! Really hope she tells you the truth. I’m thinking of somebody has threatened her and that’s why she’s holding back. She’s probably shitting herself.

wowfudge · 04/07/2020 21:39

@Livelovebehappy - what a load of bollocks. This is a safeguarding issue regarding a child. The banks are not stupid.

Pikachubaby · 04/07/2020 21:42

Ah crap. County lines or feet’s and squares or sugar daddy

All not good

PamDenick · 04/07/2020 21:43

Also - contact your daughter's school safeguarding lead.
This will not be a surprising thing for them.
They will have dealt with other instances of this. Even if you haven't been IN school the Child Protection Team will have been working overtime during lockdown.

SunbathingDragon · 04/07/2020 21:44

And turn your WiFi off tonight, just in case of another device capable of getting online.

Llamazoom · 04/07/2020 21:46

@Viviennemary what a way to lose your child’s trust. I did something wrong as a teen, I wanted to come clean to my parents, it took time to get the courage to do it, it wasn’t about getting my story straight, I was scared I would be in a lot of trouble, I did tell them, it was all hysterical drama and shouting. Nah, not a good way to parent. All it did was make me fearful of telling them things.