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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD has had large sums of money put into her account

999 replies

MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 17:50

I noticed she had been spending a lot recently, and when questioned she said it was money she had saved up. I was suspicious so opened her bank statement today and she has received £500 from someone I’ve never heard of, in 6 different payments all made in the same day. She claims this must have been paid to her by mistake and she lied because she knew she shouldn’t be spending it. I don’t believe her, but I can’t think why someone would be paying her this amount?

I am planning to phone the bank but I don’t think they’ll be able to tell me much. I wondered if anyone here might have any ideas? DD is 14.

OP posts:
feelingfragile · 04/07/2020 20:23

Teenagers don't nap? It's incredible that there are people on this site who either know all teenagers or have conducted research which enables them to generalise about all teenage behaviour from that research.

Incredible.

InFiveMins · 04/07/2020 20:24

I hope you've called the police OP?

BabySleepTeacherUK · 04/07/2020 20:26

My teenagers bank account doesn't have a bank card. I'm pretty certain she wouldn't have a clue what her sort code was, even if she knew her account number.

So how receive the money in the first place?

Frokni · 04/07/2020 20:27

Sounds like a money make situation. Hope your talk with her leads to answers.

Frokni · 04/07/2020 20:27

*mule not make

2littlledarlings · 04/07/2020 20:28

This is very wrong and I suspect it’s not a mistake if it was paid in various transactions.
I work in banking and if it is money laundering it could be picked up with the different banks communicating with one another and then it would look bad on her, defo speak with her bank

Prettybluepigeons · 04/07/2020 20:28

Phone the police now

UntamedWisteria · 04/07/2020 20:31

I hope it turns out to be something inconsequential OP. There's a lot of scaremongering on this thread.

localbunny · 04/07/2020 20:32

I would involve the police. Someone is paying your child £500 and whatever the reason, it's not likely to be good.

chatterbugmegastar · 04/07/2020 20:32

I hope this works out well for you both OP Thanks

Original poster
MummyInTheNecropolis · 04/07/2020 20:32

Teenagers don’t nap?! I’d better let my DD know, she naps every weekend without fail! We were both up late last night watching a film, then up early this morning to meet family for a 5 mile walk. We were both exhausted! Anyway that’s besides the point. We’ve had a chat and although she admits to knowing about deets and squares, admits knowing people who do it, and admits talking to them to enquire about how to get involved, she denies ever actually going through with it.

I have told her she has the rest of tonight to think about what she wants to tell me, I will contact the police in the morning. I know lots of you will disagree with this and assume I’m a troll or a terrible mother or whatever, but I want to give her a chance to tell me more, and I’m sure she will once she’s had time to think about it. In the meantime, she is not in any immediate danger, she has no phone and no internet access and is right by my side so I do not feel I need to act right this minute. Either way, i will be speaking to the police and doing whatever I can to get to the bottom of this.

OP posts:
justaweeone · 04/07/2020 20:35

Very worrying and I would be concerned re grooming
It's a safeguarding concern
Hope all is okay

safariboot · 04/07/2020 20:38

I would be asking her to show me (not just tell me) how she's getting that money.

If it's money laundering, and she's been spending what she should have been passing on, then she'll be in serious danger from the criminals involved.

CrocodilesCry · 04/07/2020 20:40

We’ve had a chat and although she admits to knowing about deets and squares, admits knowing people who do it, and admits talking to them to enquire about how to get involved, she denies ever actually going through with it

She's told you three truths and one lie there.
Work out which one it is.

So sorry you're going through this but she's in danger.

gotothecooler · 04/07/2020 20:40

You have literally given her a chance to cover her tracks and warn off whoever else is involved.

LovingLola · 04/07/2020 20:40

You can see from her bank statement how far back these lodgements to her account go. Has she said who the money is coming from?

gotothecooler · 04/07/2020 20:40

You have literally given her a chance to cover her tracks and warn off whoever else is involved.

AlexaShutUp · 04/07/2020 20:40

So how does she explain the money in her account, OP? Is she still saying that it was a mistake and that she decided to steal it?

ItsSpittingEverybodyIn · 04/07/2020 20:41

I think I'd have lost my rag with her by now, you're her mother she should tell the truth!

LittleHelpFromMySplitEnds · 04/07/2020 20:42

I hope you get this sorted OP. It must be stressful.

Angel2702 · 04/07/2020 20:43

We had an issue in our school where the kids were recruited in a money laundering scam. The kids have not got a criminal record.

NoRoomInBed · 04/07/2020 20:45

You seem to be handling it quite well tbh. Well done. Hope it all works out.

neveradullmoment99 · 04/07/2020 20:46

a similar thing happened to the 16 year old daughter of my mum’s friend. it turned out she had been chatting to a man she’d met on twitter who was paying her to be his ‘sugar baby.’ she’d send photos and videos and then the man would send her money.

Exactly this.

neveradullmoment99 · 04/07/2020 20:47

Oh sorry, just saw the update.

Lou898 · 04/07/2020 20:47

she admits to knowing about deets and squares, admits knowing people who do it, and admits talking to them to enquire about how to get involved, she denies ever actually going through with it.

I feel a subsequent confession coming. I think she is maybe gauging your reaction.
Has she admitted to knowing that money had been paid into her account?
Has she offered any explanation as to where it might have come from or is she saying she has no idea?
What explanation has she given for spending money that was obviously not hers (assuming she genuinely doesn’t know where it came from, although I doubt this to be the case)

I wish you luck in sorting it all out, I think she is lucky you have found out before things got out of hand as it most likely would have done.
I don’t think you’re wrong in giving her time to confess, I feel an uncomfortable night coming for both of you. I think you might find out more before bedtime.