13 dd....Sugardaddy!

[Maurice169]

My 13 (going on 18) year old dd got a new phone for Christmas; I inherited her previous phone.

She was having trouble resetting it and gave it to me; I did have a scroll through the left over messages, mostly typical teen conversations with friends. There were however some random numbers; she’s been chatting to adult men on the website Sugardaddy.

She has a profile on it and these men have shown interest and contacted her though txt. I did some research and can’t believe how easy it is to go on it?!

She’s totally lied about her situation, making up a complete story about her struggles with money etc, she’s lied about her age.
The conversations weren’t explicit, more like banter, these men wanted to see a photo of her, she sent some with filters on. They also asked for proof of age, driving licence, passport. When she didn’t provide it they stopped texting.

I’m pretty sure this is a game to her, I don’t think she would go through with anything. She hasn’t had a boyfriend yet, she hasn’t kissed a boy (I overheard a conversation with a friend) . I also track her phone (she doesn’t know it) and she always goes where she says she’s going.

I’m not going to tell her Dad, I’ve realised sharing info with him is often disastrous.

I just really want to know what anyone else would do in this situation Thanks

You're rewarding her with shopping in London - fucking hell.

She's your dd not your friend. What would you do if your h kept info like that from you?

OP has your DD had any adverse childhood experiences? (ACEs)

This screams of self-esteem issues. I can relate as I was this teenager.

For the record, I have wonderful parents. Just a nasty divorce sent me a little off kilter.

Im sorry op but this is quite terrifying.
She has you exactly where she wants and she knows it.
If she’s like this when she’s 13, what do you think she’s going to be like at 16?
She knows you won’t come down on her because you’re scared too.
I think you need some help, for all your sakes.
Keeping this from your partner is a bad idea though, i’d be extremely unhappy if mine did this, it would dent my trust.
You can’t keep this from them, they deserve too know.
They need to know what too look out for, how can they protect her if they don’t know?

OP, are you in fact the 13 year old.
this is all sounding more unlikely, esp your attitude.

God. I dread to think what that post said going by the user name. Maybe the OP could get them to PM her dd.

I suspect you’re long gone now OP, I would be - bet you’re glad you came on here for advice
FWIW I would probably do what you’re doing, keep a closer eye and keep communicating. I still have some ‘control’ over both my teens but, to a large extent, at this age we parent by consent.
I hope things calm down.

As a pp has already asked:

HAVE YOU PUT PARENTAL CONTROLS ON HER PHONE???

As a pp has already asked:

I didn't even just ask once. I asked four times!

Very scary. I was doing similar at her age.

Wow, just wow. I would hit the bloody roof. I am on my fourth teen so not clueless, I would have taken the phone immediately and she would have had to earn it back. At this age we parent by consent, my arse.

What if she's still doing it OP?

Contact the site tell them she is under age they will remove the profile

at this age we parent by consent.

we do no such thing. She's 13!!!

Ha, at 13? Good luck!

Meaning, by consent at thirteen my arse, they are still kids with no much common sense as this thread proves.

I've just gone through something similar with my 13yo dd, it's grim.

She's lost her phone for a minimum of two weeks, I've said she can have it back when I feel confident she fully understands the implications of what she's done.

I'm also downloading a parental control app on my phone and will be monitoring her phone like a hawk from now on.