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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Is your teen 'a gangsta from the hood'?!?!

253 replies

Robertsmithdoesmyhair · 30/05/2019 16:36

My 14 year old son speaks in rap and I have no clue what he is talking about most of the time. Lots of 'blud' 'bruva' and sucking his teeth. Funnily enough, he is neither from the hood nor a gangsta and we are a fairly normal family! We don't live in The Bronx and we don't wear soverign rings!
When oh when will he return to normal? Anyone else's teen doing this? Confused

OP posts:
exWifebeginsat40 · 31/05/2019 06:55

allow it, OP.

TheAngryLlama · 31/05/2019 06:57

Whatever the rights and wrongs of nigel’s position, there is something very seriously wrong with people who can come on a thread and be so vile about an 11 year old girl.
Please people, look back at what you’ve posted, and think. Is this advancing the cause of greater understanding? Or is it just gratuitous spite?
I know what I think.

Mominatrix · 31/05/2019 07:36

Nigel, I, too find the attitude of your daughter to be creepy and offensive. You and she, coming from the privileged position of being white, cannot understand that what you view as your daughter's empathy and curiosity can only be viewed as patronising and frankly weird from the view of the people she is trying to imitate. I can say this as I am from an ethnic minority and grew up with racial slurs being thrown at me and also the casual accepted racism not seen as problematic by the white majority. If I met someone who was obsessed by my native culture and taking on the accent of new immigrants from East Asia, I'd think them needing of psychiatric help or insulting.

My teen and his mates think it is cool to dress and speak like roadmap. I have expressed to my son how insulting this is to those people who dress and speak like this due to it being the culture they grew up in. I also ask him to try and think about how someone who grew up with the economic, political, and racist disadvantage that led to this culture would feel about his middle class, public school educated, economic cushy life would react to him if he went up to them speaking in their patois and trying to imitate their mannerism. I threatened to take him an area where they live and leave him to get home one his own.

Liking the music, using some of the slang, wearing some of the clothing they made popular - fine. Becoming a caricature of a roadmap - not on.

Mominatrix · 31/05/2019 07:37

roadmen not roadmap

BusterGonad · 31/05/2019 08:09

I think Nigel has got the message that many of you are offended, I honestly think that it's verging on bullying now. She's an 11 year old CHILD!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 31/05/2019 08:19

They are just kids copying social media start and pop acts for goodness sake. Cut them some slack!

mollycoddle77 · 31/05/2019 08:32

I am so wound up by this thread, people calling an 11 year old girly creepy and whatever else, it's just so hypocritical. I understand the view that adopting the perceived mannerism of one or more races and cultures you do not belong to is insensitive and inappropriate. However, the way people on this thread bring this view across is so aggressive and antagonising, that you are not helping the debate at all, you are making it far worse. Show some respect please, practice what you preach.

Mominatrix · 31/05/2019 09:06

TBH, I don;t think the anger is aimed towards the child, rather it is towards the parent who should be educating the child about the issues surrounding her desire to take on this particular persona.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/05/2019 09:13

The usual clueless white mummy responses to race here, I see. What a surprise.

TheAngryLlama · 31/05/2019 09:13

The child is being called creepy FFS. Please people, get a hold of yourselves.
I actually think the thread should be deleted, it’s just nasty.

TheAngryLlama · 31/05/2019 09:20

I’m genuinely curious to know what pp thinks use of a phrase like “clueless white mummy” will achieve. Do they actually want to help others see things from their perspective? How will this help?

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/05/2019 09:21

angry why is the onus also on other people to try to wake others up?

I'm white. I grew up in a white area. But I'm not clueless enough to think that speaking in patois and learning about afro hair is just a massive giggle.

Wake yourself up instead of relying on others to do it for you.

TheAngryLlama · 31/05/2019 09:35

If you want others to see things from your perspective, generally it’s helpful not to start by insulting them. Clueless I may well be, but life has taught me that much.
As I’ve attempted to suggest previously, my point is not so much about the merits of the discussion as the manner in which it’s being conducted, and especially the language being used in relation to a child. I have my own views on that - down to HQ now as to whether they agree.
Personally tho, I’m out.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/05/2019 09:36

angry where did I say I want people to see things from my perspective?

I've learnt enough to know that if you're still a racist twat by the time you're in your 30s, there's little hope. So I just express my exasperation instead. Sorry I'm not kissing your arse and begging you to see it my way, not my style.

Original poster
Robertsmithdoesmyhair · 31/05/2019 09:50

Back up there ladies! Op here! I never intended this thread to turn so malicious. It was meant to be light hearted half term banter that has been blown up into something it was never meant to be! I am not racist or ignorant, just a tired half term mum looking for some light fun chat! It probably should be deleted now, as it has gone way beyond my intentions!

OP posts:
IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/05/2019 09:54

OP the thing is, when it comes to race, black people don't always have the choice to engage in light hearted banter. You, on the other hand, can just walk away and forget about it.

Massive difference.

BusterGonad · 31/05/2019 09:54

IAmAlwaysLikeThis "The usual clueless white mummy"* *
So it's okay to be racist against the whites I see. Double standards.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/05/2019 09:55

buster yes, it's absolutely the same situation.

I'm sure you're not thick enough to think that really.

BusterGonad · 31/05/2019 09:56

Ha ha, and now you're throwing the thick card about because not everyone agrees with you!

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 31/05/2019 10:19

Lots of kids copy what they perceive to be cool. And it's totally normal for children (who are still discovering who they are) to be bored of their own looks/culture/environment and want to be something different - it's part of exploring identity and discovering their place in the world.
It's very unfair to put the weight of history and injustice onto them - kids aren't thinking about that aren't responsible for it. They are just copying clothes and music and language that they think is cool/interesting.
The poster who thinks it's okay to call an 11 year old creepy occupies no moral high ground to be judging anybody from!

Bookworm4 · 31/05/2019 10:26

Nobody is bullying a child, they have tried repeatedly to educate the hapless @nigel that she should discourage her DD from her behaviour, a white blonde girl chatting in Jamaican patois in her naice village is beyond cringeworthy and the fact her mother can't see this is what has riled people up.

tredly · 31/05/2019 10:55

The fact that a lot of you cannot see how offensive it is is the exact reason why you should not be imitating ethnic minorities.

No one can tell someone how to feel. I, amongst others, am offended by Nigel's comments. Linking Afro hair to slang and being 'cool' by using limited aspects of a culture.

Nigel's daughter is taking the so-called "positives" of a culture without understanding the disadvantages that come with being an ethnic minority. This wouldn't be so bad IF Nigel called her out on it instead of finding it endearing.

For those of you saying 11 is too young, by the age of 11 I had experienced lots of racial slurs, being treated as an outsider and general racist connotations. I was old enough to understand that I was a minority.

aIways · 31/05/2019 11:09

Sorry to interrupt but 'roadmap' Grin

quencher · 31/05/2019 11:16

I asked my son once if he 'got me' (do you get me?) he's 10 and thought I was deranged. Ha ha. I called him Bro the other day too. We watch (husband and me) a lot of American crime box sets, where the black AND white characters talk in this way. I love it when (son) looks at me like I'm mental! Ha ha. The difference between yours and most of the others on this thread is that it is not about race. Others think it's a race thing. That's where it boils my piss.

Banter my arse! People tend to use banter to playfully say what they really feel without being attacked. In every banter there is some truth.

It's very unfair to put the weight of history and injustice onto them
This sort of cluelessness is tiring and boring, what do you think a black child is doing? Society does not give them a choice to just grow and be children. If your child wants the good bits of being black as some of you have referred to here. Your child has to learn the burden of what other children go through. Ignoring that is helping your children to grow in racist twats who will be making choices for how black People are portrayed in in film and ads.

feistymumma · 31/05/2019 11:29

I had to nip that in the bud, I juat cannot stand it.