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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Phones allowed overnight on sleepovers

97 replies

hillbilly · 01/04/2019 17:33

We don't allow DD to have her phone in her room overnight and also ask her friends who come to stay if they would kindly leave their phones to charge in the kitchen. Is this unreasonable? She says I'm the only parent to do this and she doesn't want friends to stay over because of it.

OP posts:
GreenEggsHamandChips · 01/04/2019 17:36

Dd would have trouble with someone taking her contact with me away from her. Yeah i think you are a little

Scabetty · 01/04/2019 17:39

What is your reason for this? Think it’s unnecessary so yabu.

Andrea1234567 · 01/04/2019 17:39

Not your phone, not your rules.

Unless it's disturbing DD or other guests, DONT!

BlueMerchant · 01/04/2019 17:44

I'd rather my DD was allowed her phone with her if she was sleeping at someone's house incase she wanted to call me but felt she couldn't come downstairs to ask her friends parents for it.
Understand it's difficult situation though and it's not great when kids are upstairs late at night messing around on their phones.

Haffdonga · 01/04/2019 17:46

Guests have different rules. What if their parents want to be able to contact them or vice versa? You have to allow some slack for friends.

Are you also going to insist that dd's visitors take the bins out or empty the dishwasher or whatever other normal household rules you maintain?

Ilovemysleepthief · 01/04/2019 17:46

Very unreasonable!

colehawlins · 01/04/2019 17:46

I think you have to make an exception for sleepovers.

I wouldn't greatly appreciate my D.C. being relieved of their phone by an adult when they were away from home.

Andrea1234567 · 01/04/2019 17:48

What would you do if they refused to give you it OP? You have no legal help against theft if the parents/child if they do want that...

NoTNoShade · 01/04/2019 17:48

It’s not the same as taking your child’s phone at night. And it’s a sleepover so it’s supposed to be relaxed and fun.

ApolloandDaphne · 01/04/2019 17:49

How old is your DD and her friends?

1wearpurple · 01/04/2019 17:49

Can you not just turn the wifi off? Realise this would mean you couldn't use it yourself, but could you manage? It's the wifi that's the problem, presumably? Them watching horror movies online and scaring themselves silly etc etc? Or do they all have endless data contracts?!

BulletWithABun · 01/04/2019 17:49

How old is your DD?

KaterinaPetrova · 01/04/2019 17:52

I'm okay with them until it get to stupid o'clock and they're still up messing on their phones. Then I go in and tell them their phones go on "do not disturb" and are put on the shelf. If they get the phones back out they then get put outside the bedroom.
I would be absolutely fine with my daughter's phone being put in a kitchen overnight.

CarolDanvers · 01/04/2019 17:52

Yes it's unreasonable!

Stop isolating and embarrassing your dd with your silly intense rules.

RaffertyFair · 01/04/2019 17:53

Can you not just turn the wifi off? Realise this would mean you couldn't use it yourself, but could you manage?
You only have to change the password to keep access for yourself but not others. However they will still have internet access if they have data allowance on on their phones

HJWT · 01/04/2019 17:53

YANBU, you don't know what other kids search on their phone my niece is 10 and was shown that horrible creature MOMO on google on a friends phone!! Do what YOU think is best for YOUR child...

Unless they are older than 13 then YABU 😁

Andrea1234567 · 01/04/2019 17:55

@HJWT So you think it's right to steal a under 13s friend of DDs phone?

Andrea1234567 · 01/04/2019 17:57

Even if it's just for the night *

HampshireMum1 · 01/04/2019 17:58

I think I'd be upset if another parent took my kid's phone away when they were staying at their house. I would definitely want her to be able to contact me if she needed to, at any time of the night.

Pumpkintopf · 01/04/2019 17:59

How old is your daughter op?

Generally I'd say you'd make an exception to the rules for sleepovers with the proviso that as a pp said, if they stay up overly late the phones go on 'do not disturb '.

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2019 18:00

I have never done this.

I can see why your DD doesn't want a sleepover because of it.

HJWT · 01/04/2019 18:01

@Andrea1234567 I don't think its right to STEAL anything but some of us are ADULTS! I would have a conversation with the mum's prior and just tell them we don't allow phones in bedrooms and if they are comfortable with it we would leave the phone on loud in the kitchen if not they are welcome to keep the phone or child at home with them 😁

When I was 12 I had a loud mouth friend who would take vodka from her mums cupboard and search porn on her grandmothers computer just to show everyone how 'gross' it was, so I dread to think what some kids do these days!!!

Unless they are middle age teens then they don't need a phone to enjoy a sleepover...

GreenEggsHamandChips · 01/04/2019 18:03

@HJWT

Ffs teach your kid what an internet hoax is and how people can whip up a frenzy about nothing at all. Teach your kid to have confidence to say what they do or dont want to look at whether that is internet based of in real life.

Cushellekoala · 01/04/2019 18:03

I guess I am unreasonable too. I took all the girls phones when my DD had a sleepover last summer.(i took them at 11 and they got them back at 8am) I asked all the parents first and one actually requested that I took phones away and all the others were fine with it.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 01/04/2019 18:06

If you asked the parents beforehand that would be better than just removing them at the time. I like @KaterinaPetrova approach best of all. Gives the kids a sensible degree of responsibility

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