DD's boyfriend "staying for a couple of days" - it's been three weeks and I can't afford him. What do I do?

[VauxhallVectra]

DD (18 next week) boyfriend had a bust up with his parents and stormed out. DD asked if he could stay a couple of days and I said yes.

A couple of days turned into a week, which turned into two weeks, which is now nearly three weeks. There's no sign of him leaving or reconciling with his parents.

Back end of last week me and DP sat them both down and said if he's staying for a bit longer then he (or his parents) needs to start giving some money as we can't afford to just pay for an extra person in the house.

He said he'd ring his parents and get them to give some money. They refused. Then his mother called me and we had tense conversation about the situation which ended with her washing her hands of the whole thing (her words were "It's not my problem").

The boyfriend doesn't have a job (he's at college) so no income so he can't really pay his way. Apparently he can't get a job because his course is so intense (he does seem to have a lot of time at college) and he's trying to get into Oxford so needs to give it his full attention.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to kick the boy out because he's got nowhere to go (his mother's been clear he's not welcome back) but I can't afford to keep him.

DP's suggestion is to just not feed him or wash his clothes then the boy will have to find a solution. I don't know, that feels cruel and I worry that DD will suffer (e.g. splitting her dinner with him).

I feel we need to walk a fine line as well because DD is very ready to take her boyfriend's side. My worry is that we'll kick him out or he'll decide to leave and DD will go with him to live in a squat somewhere.

I'd be so grateful for any advice about this.

Encourage your daughter to block him in real and online life!
I think she's actually quite him making a bit of a spectacle of himself with his new "girlfriend"

I’m amazed they think it’s ok to put people under that pressure and not take any responsibility
Apparently the parents used to have all sorts of waifs and strays coming and going from their house when he was a child. They'd have random cousins and distant relatives from all over the place just rock up and stay for however long they felt like. Someone who worked for his dad apparently moved his whole family into their house for several months while they were between rentals. So, I think, for them having random additional people staying/to feed wasn't really a problem in terms of money, mental wellbeing, or space. They are a very weird family.

Perhaps they live in a 10 bedrooomed mansion and rarely had to see the waifs and strays? Maybe they fed them beans on toast if they were lucky? Different to people living on top of each other!

I’m sure your daughter is enjoying the drama of it all, who wouldn’t! But just make sure she isn’t too involved in caring about who the new (fake) person is.

He does sound awful, but teenagers often are, particularly when they aren’t being brought up well & don’t have good role models. I feel rather sorry for him.

However, I think the way it’s all unfolded is probably for the best, for him as well as the relief you must feel!

Sneaky offering her a Slap Up Feed, hard to resist