Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

dd1 hasn't come home from school....

114 replies

fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:23

She was supposed to go to her mate's house for tea, then on a school organised walk, I was to pick her up at 8.30.

When I realised that her mate's mum had not rang me last night as promised, I told her to come straight home instead.

I rang the school to ask them to pass this message on to be doubly sure she came home

She hasn't.

I don't know whose house she is at, of even if she is there.... I don't know who is looking after her - or if anybody is.

I don't know who to call.

8.30 is a long way away.

What should I do? It seems a bit drastic to ring the police, but I don't know how else to get her home????

OP posts:
dustystar · 12/06/2007 16:39

Do you know where this other girl lives?

If you do you could go down there and make her come home but tbh that will be horrible for all involved. If she is there she is ok so I'd get her at 8.30 and that gives you plenty of time to think of a really good punishment

LilRedWobblyGut · 12/06/2007 16:42

((squonk))

Greensleeves · 12/06/2007 16:47

I wouldn't leave it until 8.30, I would go and pick her up now, personally.

Blu · 12/06/2007 16:47

She might not have got the message from the school, and simply have followed the original plan.

Anyway, at least now you know she is with the freind, and presumably at her house, and the chances (unless you know otherwise) are that the friend's mother is responsible and reasonable.

Blu · 12/06/2007 16:49

Did you tell her, directly, to come straight home, or just via the school message?

Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:52

I told her that it was a good plan if I spoke to the friend's parents beforehand (which she knows I haven't)

I asked the school to tell her to come straight home as a double fail-safe.

I don't know where this girl lives.

I finally go through to the caretaker of the school who rang this girl's contact details, but there is no answer from the home phone and the mobile goes straight to answer machine.

She has "made up" going to a friend's before so she can do what she wants.

She might not be there. She might be wandering the streets until she can start this walk.

I don't know what to do

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 12/06/2007 16:53

How can you pick her up at 8.30 if you don't know where the friend's house is, though?

dustystar · 12/06/2007 16:54

If you didn't specifically tell her not to go then she most likely has. Maybe they are playing music loud and can't hear the phone, or they might be out in the garden enjoying the sunshine. Do you know where this girl lives?

Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:54

she's gone to a friend's house before the school organised walk. I am picking her up at the end of the walk

OP posts:
Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:54

she's gone to a friend's house before the school organised walk. I am picking her up at the end of the walk

OP posts:
dustystar · 12/06/2007 16:54

Oh sorry I see you don't know where she lives. Did the caretaker leave a message?

Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:55

I'm sure she's just done what she wanted, regardless of whether or not she actually has permission (which she knows she doesn't) and she is probably perfectly fine.... but I don't know that.

8.30 is a long, long way away if she isn't where she is supposed to be

OP posts:
Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:56

no, he didn't leave a message. He suggested I call the police if I'm worried. He said that she was no longer on school grounds, so there was nothing he could do

OP posts:
NoNoNoNo · 12/06/2007 16:57

Do you know where and when the organised walk begins, rather than ends?

dustystar · 12/06/2007 16:57

Perhaps you can try the school again and ask them to leave a message on the mums mobile asking her to contact you asap.

ktmoomoo · 12/06/2007 16:57

id pick her up now

Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:58

We have rules about visiting other people's houses, and they are that I know who they are, that I have spoken to the parents, that I have full contact details and that she rings me when she gets there.

So even if for some reason she thinks she is allowed to be there, she still should have rang me and she hasn't.

I think she is hiding from me, I think she knows she is not allowed to be there. What I don't know if whether she is actually there or if she is wandering the streets.

OP posts:
elsieanjoanne · 12/06/2007 16:59

I think if she has done this before you should be thinking of how your going to get her to understand as a young lady its not suitable for her to be wandering doing what she wants without you knowing where she is especially as she will be a role model for your younger children.
I hope she gets home safe x

Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 16:59

ktmoomoo - I can't pick her up, I don't know where she is. If I knew where she was I would be cross with her, but not worried.

And, no I don't know where the walk starts (or what time)

OP posts:
dustystar · 12/06/2007 17:00

She'll be there. She knows she'll be in trouble so she's avoiding contact for as long as possible.

Greensleeves · 12/06/2007 17:00

I would want to pick her up earlier and not let her do the walk, personally. Not easy if you don't know where the friend lives though. Sorry you're worried Squonk, I would be worried too, but it is overwhelmingly likely she is at the friend's house, isn't it?

Original poster
fryalot · 12/06/2007 17:01

so I just go along at 8.30 and pick her up?

I think that's all I can do, tbh.

I'm so cross

OP posts:
NoNoNoNo · 12/06/2007 17:01

I'd try to find out, perhaps from the Mum you rang earlier, about the start of the walk, and go along there, just to see what the story is

dustystar · 12/06/2007 17:01

ring the parents of the girl she gets the bus with and ask them if they have more dtails about the sponsored walk.

tigerschick · 12/06/2007 17:01

Can you go to where the walk ends? There is a good chance that it is near the beginning - it might be a circular walk. Then you can either wait for her there or leave a message that she is to call you as soon as she gets there, if you can't stay.

I'm sure that she is fine, just hiding.

Swipe left for the next trending thread