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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

13 year old refusing to come home

84 replies

mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:02

Out with “mates” aaa supposed to be home an hour ago. We’ve been through this before and had a good period of it not happening but tonight here we go again. Apparently she “might” get in the car at 8. Just so tired of it. She’s stopping out because I’m moody! Has the dog put down yesterday of course I am! Sorry rambling now.

OP posts:
yawning801 · 21/12/2017 19:03

Presume you mean 13 year old? Grin

Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:03

Yes sorry can you imagine!

OP posts:
RestingGrinchFace · 21/12/2017 19:05

I wouldn't blame you for not letting her out alone after this-of she thinks she's responsible enough to go out alone then she should be responsible enough to come home in time

yawning801 · 21/12/2017 19:05

I can and was imagining...

Chances are she's struggling with the death of your dog. I know that sounds obvious, but I'm not really qualified to advise. Bumping for you instead!

Mamam1a · 21/12/2017 19:06

Can’t stop imagining a 3yr old having a strop. She’s out with her other 3yr old mates and they’re all refusing to go home. Grin

Snowtato · 21/12/2017 19:07

I’m sorry to hear about your dog.
Sorry but I have no advice regarding your dd not coming home.my dd is only 2.

I hope she returns safe and things get better.

Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:07

But apparently if I let her out more she wouldn t do this. because I don’t let her out she refuses to come home apparently. Gah! It’s such a mess. I really thought we were past this doesn’t help that she has to let herself in a couple of times a week whilst I’m at work. And if she starts this whilst I’m at work again I’m stuffed (line worker sometimes)

OP posts:
Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:07

Lone worker!

OP posts:
Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:08

—mamam1a— Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:08

Well that didn’t work Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:09

Apparently when she does to her dads she can do what she wants. Dm thinks she maybe should go there if she won’t respect our rules.

OP posts:
Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:10

Snowtato thank you. 2 is a lovely age is she looking forward to Christmas?

OP posts:
sunshineintheclouds · 21/12/2017 19:13

Do you know where she is?
Go and get her!
She is 13 , get her and take her home completely unacceptable for her to act like this to you.
Tell her if she cannot be trusted to come home on time then she cannot go out without an adult.

Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:13

Yawning you’re probably right. I don’t know these mates though. Very worried she’s going to end up pregnant but if I take her for contraception it’s like I’m encouraging it!

OP posts:
Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:14

Sunshine I cannot physically drag her-much taller than me and she knows this.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 21/12/2017 19:14

They are starting early these days. Grin But I don't think getting in at 8 pm 9 pm or even 10 pm is that bad at her age as long as you know where she is and arrangements are made for getting home safely.

Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:15

Sorry I feel
Like this is AIBU and I’m poo pooing everything everyone says. We have been through all this and I’m truly at a loss.

OP posts:
sunshineintheclouds · 21/12/2017 19:15

Can you not control her? If you went there and said get in the car what would she do?

Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:16

Vivienne I know where she starts. But not who she’s with or where she is in the middle. I never did this so am struggling as to why. She has to be out later and longer than everyone else and is always with boys which worries me.

OP posts:
MNHQ
HebenotafraidMumsnet · 21/12/2017 19:17

Hi OP. Just letting you know we have edited your thread title so you're back to having a teenager rather than a pre-schooler now.

Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:17

Sunshine she would refuse. Has done many a time. Don’t think she will come at 8 but I’ll have to try.

OP posts:
Original poster
mogloveseggs · 21/12/2017 19:18

Thanks hq think I’d rather have a 3 year old at the mo Sad

OP posts:
sunshineintheclouds · 21/12/2017 19:21

Wow, you and her dad need to get something sorted and quickly.

If it was mine I would be there now and wouldn't leave her side till she was in the car. She would lose her phone for a week and not be alound out alone until she proved she would behave in a manner so I could trust her.

sunshineintheclouds · 21/12/2017 19:21

Sorry about typos Blush

Thedietstartsnow · 21/12/2017 19:23

I had this with my 6 foot 4 ,16 yr old son....he only did it once...he was due in at11pm...12.15 still no sight of him...well I wasn't having that,as I thought 10 pm was late enough and against my better judgement I said ok to 11..
So in my pjs,slippers ,face cream on and no bra I set off in the car, I spied him as he spied me ,I only had to get out of the car and he shot over begging me to get back in the car...never did it again..he knew I would of gone over to him and his mates looking like that,he didn't want the embarrassment...hasn't done it since