13 year old refusing to come home

[mogloveseggs]

Out with “mates” aaa supposed to be home an hour ago. We’ve been through this before and had a good period of it not happening but tonight here we go again. Apparently she “might” get in the car at 8. Just so tired of it. She’s stopping out because I’m moody! Has the dog put down yesterday of course I am! Sorry rambling now.

I don't understand what she was doing at that time on a thursday in the middle of winter? If she's a pizza hut with her friends fine. If she's just hanging out with her friends that's when trouble starts. Are you able to spot check on her? If she says she's at her friend 'Beckys' are you sure she's there all night?

I agree with PP. Being out in the evening at 13 at a friend's house who the OP knows is quite different to hanging around in the park with persons unknown.

Thanks all some ground rules have been set that I hope will work thanks to your posts. We shall see. Have told her also that her eyebrow pencils will disappear if she messes me around again

Late to the party but sympathy OP. My middle dd was living nightmare at that age. I thought myself a sensible parent. The number of people i had telling me what they would do... She was bigger, meaner and could out argue Maggie T.
She is now 20 with a job and a home and can never apologise enough for her teen years

CBAforthis I think your mum is very lucky that you think like that in hindsight, because to my mind treating a 16yo like that is abusive.

If you don’t knock this on the head now it’s going to get worse. I know this due to similar experience with close relative. She is now 16 and parents have had zero control for a long time as they are ‘scared’ of what she will do: she has them over a barrel even though they hate what she does.

Glad she's home safe OP.

Agree with all the posters who say 8pm is fine depending on the circumstances. Its really hard but have the courage of your convictions, agree some rules with her and the consequences and hold the line.

I did this sort of thing at that age, I was extremely rebellious and I got up to to alsorts. I basically did the opposite of what I was told the majority of the time.

In the end I was grounded and simply not allowed out of the house for a very long time. It worked.

I know have a 6 mo old girl and I do worry about when she is a teenager already.

Thank you all. Today she came home when asked so life is good. It’s just hard being back to one day at a time and not knowing how she will be. But never mind. she has three whole days with her family now how will she cope?