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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD listens to questionable music?! Help!!

38 replies

WinoholicDonna · 21/08/2017 16:19

Hey mums!

My DD, 14, and I usually do this thing every Thursday where we have a Mother-Daughter time and we always go to our local cafe and talk about things we like. (It's a great bonding activity - definitely helps strengthen our relationship!)

Last Thursday, I found out my DD likes to listen to music artists such as 'Cupcakke' and 'BODTF'.. At first, I didn't have a clue who they were but when I got home and did my research - I realised these were inappropriate! I have no clue how she even started listening to them, considering she's a violinist who plays classical music?

Some of the lyrics from these artists are pretty shocking!

For example, one Cupcakke lyric is this: 'Gonna get the d*ck wet and firm you betta sweat me out of my perm.'
And a BODTF lyric: 'I wanna fuck you hard I wanna feel you deep'

I'm extremely worried, I don't know what to do, mums! Help!!

OP posts:
MotherofA · 21/08/2017 16:23

Sorry but I did giggle at this , probably because I am expecting the same thing soon enough !
I also listened to 90s rap / hip hop growing up and that included lil Kim and foxy brown ... when I listen to it now I cringe hahaha . I think it just happens through friends and if she is a violinist she's obviously got eclectic taste and has probably just found this stuff through school .
You clearly have an amazing relationship with her and she has her head screwed on.
Also I didn't understand most of the lyrics I heard until I was about 30 so try not to worry too much . Sorry I can't help more .

15MinutesWithYou · 21/08/2017 16:23

When I was 14/15 one of my favourite things was Tenacious D- Jack Blacks comedy/rock outfit- who have a song called Fuck Her Gently. That's on the tamer end of some of their lyrics! My parents didn't know and it hasn't turned me into a depraved sex pest.

I would maybe have a conversation with her about misogyny and the importance of using language appropriate to the situation but I wouldn't ban her from listening to it. It's good you have such an open dialogue.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 16:25

''Twas ever thus.

Sex pistols. God save the queen.

She's supposed to listen to stuff you don't approve of.

You have a chat about not listening to it at dinner with granny full volume, and maybe a chat about objectifying women but other than that, it's a phase. It'll pass. She might always remember those lyrics as the sings of her childhood.

ClashCityRocker · 21/08/2017 16:27

I lost my virginity to Fuck Her Gently. It was not a good time of my lifeBlush

I was all Dr dre, snoop doggy dogg and cypress hill at that age. It's a teenagers job to listen to questionable music.

justpoppingby · 21/08/2017 16:28

I'm sure it'll pass...I purchased 'Never mind the bollocks' when I was 11, my mum was livid my dad was quite proud 😂

CanIBuffalo · 21/08/2017 16:30

I find Neil Sedaka's song Sweet 16 more worrying tbh and creepy as fuck.

imip · 21/08/2017 16:31

My twens are currently listening to little Mix - talk about questionable music!

At that age I felt pretty cool listening to Violent Femmes! I echo the above - make sure she gets the misogynistic element of some music, but these are the teenage years!

Cocolepew · 21/08/2017 16:32

I was listening to Prince singing about fucking when I was 14.
My 15 year old DD is always blaring music which has sexual swear words in it.
No harm comes from it, but I do keep an ear open for sexually violent lyrics.

Original poster
WinoholicDonna · 21/08/2017 16:35

Thank you all for the responses! I'll make sure to have a conversation with her about this because I don't think it's too appropriate.. but I mean, teenagers right? LOL, I'll just let her live aslong as she doesn't blast this music at a family reunion, I guess It'll be fine! x

OP posts:
candicemerlot · 21/08/2017 16:40

Look User:WinoholicDonna, kids will be kids! When I was young we had things like The Smiths who would sing openly about gay sex, and we Soft Cell, Bronski Beat etc. Music to do with sex has been going on for years, since it began.
I think you should let your DD listen to her music, she'll be fine. Have a glass of wine and stop being pretentious, music is subjective! Times have changed since your day lol xx

Original poster
WinoholicDonna · 21/08/2017 16:43

@candicemerlot, I have nothing against her listening to it - I just hope it doesn't really inspire her to try anything on her own.. she's only 14 and sex is illegal! I'd like to think I'm not being that pretentious, and times really have changed. x I mean, I'd even admit Cupcakke is a bop! LOL!

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 21/08/2017 16:55

I had the Buzzcocks orgasm addict hidden under the bed when I was fifteen (and still a virgin). Mum wasn't too pleased when she found it.

elephantoverthehill · 21/08/2017 16:55

My current teenager music problem is Ds2 (15). He is playing Xbox and has been singing a repertoire of Queen and Elvis songs. It's 2017 ffs! He is also getting quite a few of the lyrics wrong, but I don't want to interrupt as I am quietly sniggering in the kitchen. I think most teenagers know that the artist is going for shock factor but I think it is great that you have a relationship where you feel ok to have these discussions.

BubbleAnimal · 21/08/2017 16:56

When I was 14/15 I played skunk anansie full volume. I wouldn't Google the lyrics tbh.

And I'm a fully respectable secondary school teacher now.

Who still listens to them as much as possible 😁

candicemerlot · 21/08/2017 17:01

User:BubbleAnimal, I love Skunk Anansie!
User:WinoholicDonna see! It's so normal for your little girl to be like this, and if anything it could teach her some grown up things and saves you a lesson lol x

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 17:11

candice the User: stuff? I've never seen that before.

candicemerlot · 21/08/2017 17:14

User:Slowcookerheaven I used to be on a mums freeforum and that was how you used it to reply lol. Guess it's just habit now! ConfusedX

ClashCityRocker · 21/08/2017 17:15

Well, despite my gangsta rap roots I have never been seen 'rolling down the street, smokin' endo, sipping on gin n juice' nor have I ever felt the need to 'bust a cap in a po-po's ass'.

I may have thrown my hands in the air like I just didn't care but I think I was drunk at the time.

Slowcookerheaven · 21/08/2017 17:16

It's not really done here candice it's a bit weird for here

TheChineseChicken · 21/08/2017 17:19

Meh, I used to (still do) listen to nine inch nails when I was 12/13. Not sure my mum was thrilled about that but I turned out ok! Grin
Although perhaps misogynistic rap is worse

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 21/08/2017 17:27

I was an Eminem fan growing up. I was listening it to the other day going Shock at how violent and awful some of the lyrics are.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 21/08/2017 17:27

I'm normal btw.

elephantoverthehill · 21/08/2017 20:15

It's getting worse. Dd (12) is now putting together a playlist for a journey tomorrow. It seems to be mostly Disney songs, 'Whistle while you work' is currently being downloaded. Did I not fully embrace The Clash, the Stranglers, SLF and the Jam at their age? Be grateful for your Dd's cosmopolitan taste in music.

AlexanderHamilton · 21/08/2017 20:18

My 13 & 15 year olds are currently listening to Book of Mormon which is about f**ing frogs instead of babies & Avenue Q which is puppets having sex but hey- it's culture!

woodlands01 · 21/08/2017 22:29

I have this with my DS14. I quite like his music and then it will refer to 'my fing bes', 'n**s', etc etc....

DH can't really deal with it and turns it off but I'm pretty relaxed. I too am a secondary school teacher and realised yesterday he was playing said music in car with friend (from different school) who I taught last year ........................

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