DD listens to questionable music?! Help!!

[WinoholicDonna]

Hey mums!

My DD, 14, and I usually do this thing every Thursday where we have a Mother-Daughter time and we always go to our local cafe and talk about things we like. (It's a great bonding activity - definitely helps strengthen our relationship!)

Last Thursday, I found out my DD likes to listen to music artists such as 'Cupcakke' and 'BODTF'.. At first, I didn't have a clue who they were but when I got home and did my research - I realised these were inappropriate! I have no clue how she even started listening to them, considering she's a violinist who plays classical music?

Some of the lyrics from these artists are pretty shocking!

For example, one Cupcakke lyric is this: 'Gonna get the d*ck wet and firm you betta sweat me out of my perm.'
And a BODTF lyric: 'I wanna fuck you hard I wanna feel you deep'

I'm extremely worried, I don't know what to do, mums! Help!!

Ha, I remember blasting out Sam Fox's touch me - singing along loud as possible - moans and all at the tender age of 9. Goodness knows what my parents were thinking!

I think with a lot of music you dont really listen to the lyrics or think of the actual meanings at that age. Until you have children yourself and start clutching at your pearls, I was introducing DD to Spice girls the other day, nice wholesome, girl power etc etc then 2 become 1 came on, its not graphic but its a song about sex and I remember singing along to it in my parents car when I was 9 / 10.

Personally my 7 yr old DD is going through a bit of a rock / 80s phase and ACDC, Queen and Michael Jackson have been playing alot here over the summer

It's just lyrics - sweat me out of my perm what the hell is that all about

I remember blushing listening to Princes sexy motherfucker in front of my mother

I spent all my time listening to Puccini operas at that age. There is some quite rude dialogue in La Boheme, though the librettist has put it in Latin to protect the innocent. I was quite good at Latin though...

you could try this ingenious method to sanitize unsavoury lyrics

Oh dear OP. I think you have a lot to learn from your mother / daughter time.....

I remember being a young teenager and my nan used to have a lot of parties ( cinanzo and Mushroom vol au vonts anyone). My nan always liked to include me and one time asked me to bring my new records around.
The party stopped in its tracks when nan put Friggin' in the Riggin' by the Sex Pistols on.
Poor nan was mortified and I hadn't a clue what it meant!

I think it's important they have the freedom to listen to whatever they want, but that shouldn't stop you saying, "Blimey, he doesn't like women much, does he?" or "He doesn't treat women well, does he?" or "He doesn't seem to treat women as equal to men..." I wouldn't have the music without the comments.

I was a big Soft Cell fan. Mum wasn't too happy when she found a copy of Non Stop Erotic Cabaret in my room. Sex Dwarf is still a favourite song though.

Have you never listened to Little Mix

Hi, I'm not a mum, nor am I even an adult, but I implore you-
please do not let your 14 year old daughter listen to BOTDF (misspelled BODTF in your original message). I tend to lurk here to (kindly, not maliciously) chuckle at parent's misconconceptions about teenagers, but I made an account as soon as I saw you mentioning them.

I was familiar with this "band" when I was around her age (I'm 17 now) and so I know that the lead singer of the group, 'Dahvie Vanity', is a well known pedophile and statutory rapist.

He's been charged with statutory rape of a 16 year old girl, and there are many many more reports of him sexually abusing even younger girls after his shows.

I understand the appeal of BOTDF. The sex-charged lyrics are incredibly appealing for someone her age because it's blunt and tabboo and has that excitement of being forbidden. But I beg of you not to let her get involved with Blood On The Dance Floor.

If she wants a band with similarly sexual-and-sweary lyrics, she should listen to Mindless Self Indulgence. They're of a similar genre and sound, have the same tabboo lyrics, however they would be so much better for her to listen to in many aspects. The members are all kind, good-hearted people- and 2 out of 4 members are female (the drummer, Kitty Dunn, and bassist, Lyn-Z), something which is very rare in full bands and could prove to be a positive influence for your daughter.

Some references to my point about Dahvie Vanity:
Transcript of the since-deleted inciting tumblr post made by a crew member for a band BOTDF toured with, click "show saved copy"
a long tumblr post which contains the whole story with screenshots and evidence to back up the claims, including other incidents

I probably went off-track a little bit (adhd i get distracted super easy) but my point is, please do not let your daughter listen to this rapist's band

She's 14. Listening to questionable music is age appropriate, sorry. You could encourage her to listen critically but there's no way to stop her listening.

In my day it was "Brown Sugar" and everyone bopping along happily to "In the Summertime".