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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Should I let 16 year old DD drink vodka?

94 replies

singingdeborah · 18/08/2017 23:39

So I may not be doing this correctly, as last time I mentioned the name of my daughter and everyone got all up in arms about it talking about how I was 'breaching her privacy'. There are thousands of iother kids with her name, I seriously doubt she actively searches her name on this site considering she's 16 and probably has much better things to do with her time, but hey.

Anyway, DD is 16 years old, she's a very sensible girl with a good knowledge of what's wrong and right. DD and her best friend want to have a sleepover in my house where they will be drinking vodka. The vodka is supplied by DD's friend's mother, who is okay with her drinking spirits as long as she is safe.

We've never had a problem with DD drinking before, but I'd be lying if I said such a strong spirit didn't concern me a little. She has promised me that it will just be the two of them, staying at home and not going anywhere else, and they'll be safe together.

Should I stop her from drinking this altogether? She has had vodka before, but no more than a shot, and apparently they are sharing a bottle, though DD says it's likely they won't even finish it all.

Any advice?

OP posts:
dogsareeasiertoparent · 19/08/2017 00:04

hi, I have two teens 16 and 19 and I've never had a problem with them drinking. I've let them have alcohol at home so they can learn their limits and respect it.
If you are happy with the judgement of the mother of this other girl then I would say that if they are going to be sensible then it's fine. But on the other hand I would struggle to drink more than a couple of shots myself. Perhaps it would be better to suggest a limit and trust her to stick to it? Sounds like she's a sensible girl and the fact that she's talking to you about it is good. Hope it works out :)

thegirlupnorth · 19/08/2017 00:04

I wouldn't let my DC at 16 no. They were allowed lager, alco pops but not spirits.

Askingforafriendlyneighbour · 19/08/2017 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LovingLola · 19/08/2017 00:06

No. The other mother sounds like a loon.

BackforGood · 19/08/2017 00:08

So the plan is, 2 of them sit in your house, and polish off a bottle of vodka between them ?

No, I definitely wouldn't condone that - that is a massive amount of alcohol, and quite a worrying way to be drinking IMO.
I assumed (on opening the thread) you were asking if she could have a measure, or a bottle of a mixed vodka drink as part of a social occasion (to which I was going to say yes).

AndNowItIsSeven · 19/08/2017 00:10

No , is it actually you that is 16 op?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 19/08/2017 00:14

I'm a 40 something grown woman who in MN terms drinks a lot and I would never sit down with the aim of drinking a bottle of vodka with a pal. That is a fuck tonne of drink for two 16 year olds to consume and you should say no.

Luckyaide · 19/08/2017 00:18

A small amount of vodka as compromise, with lots of mixer e.g. Enough for couple of shots each?

ihatethecold · 19/08/2017 00:31

She will be horrifically ill the next day if she shares a whole bottle.
I wouldn't allow it personally.

Perfectly1mperfect · 19/08/2017 00:42

Depends how big the bottle is !

2 or 3 vodkas I would be OK with if they are sensible and had drank alcohol before.

AngeloftheSouth84 · 19/08/2017 01:04

Not a whole bottle, no.

PrincessPlod · 19/08/2017 01:15

Better fit them to drink in the house with parents on hand rather than a park or beach alone. I was allowed wine etc from an early age like the French really my parents thought this would give me a healthy relationship with alcohol TBH I did my teen binge thing but it was short and sweet.

namechangedforthisreply · 19/08/2017 03:01

It's not healthy for two adults to drink a bottle of vodka between them!

So no

SunshineAndSmile · 19/08/2017 04:26

A bottle of vodka between two 16 year olds Confused

Eh no

PitilessYank · 19/08/2017 04:36

I don't think it is healthy for a developing brain to be bathed in alcohol like that.

Early exposure to alcohol may promote issues later on (studies are mixed on this), so I would err on the side of caution.

nooka · 19/08/2017 05:37

I'm pretty relaxed about alcohol and my almost 17 year old dd does drink spirits, but in adult company mostly, and in some moderation. So maybe up to three shots and a beer or two over the course of a long evening with food and water. When she has friends over I keep a fairly close eye on them if I don't know they are sensible as I don't want to be responsible for a very drunk child. I'd not be happy with the sharing a bottle of vodka unless it was small (even a 35cl bottle is 14 shots). Plus vodka drinking is usually with the sole purpose of getting drunk which would worry me.

Out2pasture · 19/08/2017 05:46

depends on the size of the bottle, a 40 oz bottle of vodka...no
but I've been around the block a few times and i'd be suspicious of them planning on getting drunk and then going out....a little "pre party" before the full on party.
I mean why do they need or want to drink if they are just staying in the house watching movies or playing computer games??
my spidie senses are tingling

timeforabrewnow · 19/08/2017 06:00

No - its not alright.

pullingmyhairout1 · 19/08/2017 06:06

How sensible is dd? Does she now to peer pressure? What is her friend like?

My ds is 16. He has said to me numerous times that he is going to have loads of drinks with his mates (jd etc) and has always come home or stayed merry not drunk because he doesn't like the feeling of being out of control. If dd is like that I'd be inclined to worry less.

pullingmyhairout1 · 19/08/2017 06:07

Ffs should be *bow to peer pressure

Nelly5678 · 19/08/2017 06:18

Sleepover at your house. You'll be around and they won't get shit faces on one bottle. Leave her be, u know she's safe and can look after her if needed

Lillygreen · 19/08/2017 06:23

Perhaps your DD doesn't realise that drinking half a bottle of vodka will make her very drunk and ill

Blondefancy · 19/08/2017 06:23

Meh, I used to drink vodka throughout my teens and mum knew about it - as long as they aren't drinking it straight out the bottle they shouldn't feel too ill. Chances are they have already drunk it before as it's a pretty common choice among young people! Buy them a medium sized bottle (£12?) and a mixer like coke/lemonade/cranberry juice😊

SpareASquare · 19/08/2017 06:26

I wouldn't but you are clearly more lax than me. I think that if you are a parent that allows drinking, what does it matter what they drink?

BizzyFizzy · 19/08/2017 06:27

No, I wouldn't allow this.