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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Should I let 16 year old DD drink vodka?

94 replies

singingdeborah · 18/08/2017 23:39

So I may not be doing this correctly, as last time I mentioned the name of my daughter and everyone got all up in arms about it talking about how I was 'breaching her privacy'. There are thousands of iother kids with her name, I seriously doubt she actively searches her name on this site considering she's 16 and probably has much better things to do with her time, but hey.

Anyway, DD is 16 years old, she's a very sensible girl with a good knowledge of what's wrong and right. DD and her best friend want to have a sleepover in my house where they will be drinking vodka. The vodka is supplied by DD's friend's mother, who is okay with her drinking spirits as long as she is safe.

We've never had a problem with DD drinking before, but I'd be lying if I said such a strong spirit didn't concern me a little. She has promised me that it will just be the two of them, staying at home and not going anywhere else, and they'll be safe together.

Should I stop her from drinking this altogether? She has had vodka before, but no more than a shot, and apparently they are sharing a bottle, though DD says it's likely they won't even finish it all.

Any advice?

OP posts:
KeepCalm · 19/08/2017 06:29

No. Just no.

nooka · 19/08/2017 06:48

Blondefancy a medium sized bottle (70cl) would be the equivalent of about 14 shots each, that's the adult weekly limit so much much too much for a teenager to have on one night!

I'd be inclined to say no to the unsupervised bottle of vodka and instead either offer the equivalent of perhaps two or three bottles of beer for them to have on their own or for them to choose to make up one or two drinks with hard liquor under supervision.

and yes it does matter what they drink. I'm far less concerned about visiting teenagers who have a preference for a particular beer, wine or cocktail because they enjoy the taste than the ones who will drink anything alcoholic because they feel the need to be drunk.

NormaSmuff · 19/08/2017 06:53

no what is wrong with Wicked or other alcopops?
even wine/cider.
though ask a 16 year old and you may find that Vodka is the go to drink anyway

Wonders71 · 19/08/2017 06:59

The youth of today! What's wrong with diamond white....i wouldn't let them drink neat vodka maybe with a mixer.

Mumteadumpty · 19/08/2017 07:04

I am undecided on this, and what is influencing me is the thought that if she doesn't do this in the safety of her home, she may well be trying it out at an unsupervised party.
Is she just 16, or almost 17? If the latter she certainly needs to know safe drinking practices soon, and how to look after herself.
I wouldn't feel comfortable about allowing it though OP, so I see your dilemma.

Violetcharlotte · 19/08/2017 07:07

Hi OP, I've got a 16 year old who's also just began to want to drink alcohol with his friends. I will buy him cider or lager to take to parties, but I avoid spirits. Personally, I think if I don't buy it for him then someone else will, at least this way I know what he's drinking and can tell him to make sure he doesn't drink on an empty stomach, etc.

Vodka is very strong and with a mixer it's very easy to drink far too much, too quickly, and end up in a right old state I know this from experience of my own misspent youth!

Maybe WKD or Smirnoff Ice would be a better alternative?

chocolatesa · 19/08/2017 07:15

I drank vodka at a party when I was 16. It made me so ill I've never drunk to excess again.

Original poster
singingdeborah · 19/08/2017 07:16

I'm 43, thank you very much.

OP posts:
Acornantics · 19/08/2017 07:17

A.young person drinking half a bottle of vodka in one go is a surefire way to get alcohol poisoning and end up with a trip to A&E for stomach pumping.

Spirits should be the last thing a teen is drinking, it's just a disaster waiting to happen. If they must (and most of us did it as kids), beer or cider is a much better, digestible and safer option.

adviceadviceasvice · 19/08/2017 07:17

Errrrr No!!

Painfulpain · 19/08/2017 07:19

I left home at 16

Mrsknackered · 19/08/2017 07:23

Meh. I would allow a small bottle but not a big one between 2. If they've never really drank vodka before they will feel so awful the next day.

However, it's better they're doing it at home. I have horrific memories of drinking huge amounts of vodka in a park, throwing up and falling down a set of stairs after I snogged about 7 people aged 14. My mum had to be called to the park and everyone scarpered as they were scared!

Cherrytart6 · 19/08/2017 07:23

Yes to light responsible drinking within the guidelines. No to irresponsible binge drinking.

Supplying a bottle of vodka to two 16 year olds to drink on one night is a very strange thing to do.

iismum · 19/08/2017 07:24

Wtaf?! A sensible 16yo having a couple of vodka and tonics, etc - sure, id be ok with that. Anyone at all - let alone a 16yo - planning to get through an entire bottle of vodka with a pal in an evening - that's problem drinking. I think YABVU to normalise that level of alcohol consumption. That could land a teenager in hospital with alcohol poisoning.

Mrsknackered · 19/08/2017 07:25

But like what painful said, I was working and left home at 16 so my view of what's age appropriate is a bit skewed.

Original poster
singingdeborah · 19/08/2017 07:26

UPDATE (you'll have to excuse me if there is some way to edit original post)
My dilemma is, as you may already know as parents yourselves, is that if I don't let her experiment at home then she may end up somewhere unsafe drinking instead, and that's the last thing I want. DD has just turned 16, so that does concern me a little, however, she has had smaller amounts of spirits and from what I could see, was able to control herself.

I asked her this morning if she was planning to drink the entire bottle, and she said no because it's a large bottle and that would be too dangerous. What she said did make me trust her to do this, but I'm still wondering on whether I should set them a limit. As far as I know DD has never been drunk, so I don't think she'd know her limit on when it would become dangerous.

And finally, to the person who asked if I was 16 myself, thank you very much but I'm 43, and came here genuinely concerned on what to do for my daughter. I will never understand why some people are just so childish and rude!

Thanks for all the help guys.

OP posts:
Stillwishihadabs · 19/08/2017 07:32

I was out drinking at 14, but times have changed, we now know just how harmful alcohol is. Recent studies definitely suggest early drinking is linked to later problems and it's not good for their developing brains. If (and it's a big if) they ended up in A&E it would be a social services and mental health team referral round here (I work in safeguarding). A big no fr me.

BoredOnMatLeave · 19/08/2017 07:33

I wouldn't have a problem with some vodka but wouldn't let them have a whole bottle. She says she won't drink the whole bottle but when your a bit drunk you don't notice how much you are having. I think 1/4 bottle would polish me off and I'm 25 Blush

StinkyMcgrinky · 19/08/2017 07:37

I would give them a whole bottle and leave them to it. It's ok to say "I won't have the whole thing" but if they get tipsy and inhibitions go out the window this sensible train of thought will too. How many of us have had one to many drinks after telling ourselves we wouldn't? Half a bottle of vodka is likely to make her very poorly which could mean she learns she doesn't like it and doesn't touch vodka again for a long time (my relationship with it!) Or could potentially need medical help. Sounds extreme but I have known more than a few 15/16/17 year old end up in hospital with alcohol poisoning after consuming roughly the same amount (have worked in A&E)

If you are there to supervise and can say "I think that's enough now" I think that's ok. That way she can experiment in her own home (as opposed to a park bench) but have someone she trusts there to help. Can you keep the bottle in the kitchen or somewhere where you can see or hear them going to it?

bengalcat · 19/08/2017 07:41

No .

bengalcat · 19/08/2017 07:43

No

FinallyDecidedOnUserName · 19/08/2017 07:43

No!

FrancisCrawford · 19/08/2017 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DownstairsMixUp · 19/08/2017 07:45

Er no. The only person I've known to be allowed spirits at 16 was my dh by his alcoholic parents. He has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol now aged 31. I think it's important to not mollycoddle them at that age but vodka really? I was allowed a glass of champagne on special occasions or a Buck's Fizz at xmas and maybe a alchopop or two with mates that was it. Same rules will go for my kids.

TestTubeTeen · 19/08/2017 07:45

No.

I wouldn't mind them having one vodka ad part of a social gathering, but a 16 year old, arriving with a whole bottle...no.

It is an unhealthy way to approach alcohol, I don't want other people's 16 year olds drunk and throwing up at my house, and 'drinking a bottle of vodka ' is not a suitable leisure activity, per se.