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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Should I let 16 year old DD drink vodka?

94 replies

singingdeborah · 18/08/2017 23:39

So I may not be doing this correctly, as last time I mentioned the name of my daughter and everyone got all up in arms about it talking about how I was 'breaching her privacy'. There are thousands of iother kids with her name, I seriously doubt she actively searches her name on this site considering she's 16 and probably has much better things to do with her time, but hey.

Anyway, DD is 16 years old, she's a very sensible girl with a good knowledge of what's wrong and right. DD and her best friend want to have a sleepover in my house where they will be drinking vodka. The vodka is supplied by DD's friend's mother, who is okay with her drinking spirits as long as she is safe.

We've never had a problem with DD drinking before, but I'd be lying if I said such a strong spirit didn't concern me a little. She has promised me that it will just be the two of them, staying at home and not going anywhere else, and they'll be safe together.

Should I stop her from drinking this altogether? She has had vodka before, but no more than a shot, and apparently they are sharing a bottle, though DD says it's likely they won't even finish it all.

Any advice?

OP posts:

Marmenteum · 01/09/2017 15:07

I would find this very weird.

Karmapolicearrestthisman · 01/09/2017 15:10

Sharing a bottle of vodka at a 2-person sleepover sounds odd. It's likely that she will drink the lot once she's tipsy and the rational part of her brain switches off.

This is risky for her physical health (teens with no alcohol tolerance have died drinking less than 75cl), impulsivity and the knock-on effect of poor decisions when drunk (social media posting, meeting up with boys, sexting etc.) and for her mental health if it becomes habitual.

I'd say it's up to you to say "no" and stick to alcopops/beer.

GwenStaceyRocks · 01/09/2017 15:19

If it's about them finding their limits then this isn't the best way to do it. When I started going to pubs/clubs, drinking alcohol, my dad said 'get drunk with people you trust so you realise where your limit is'. It was excellent advise. But your DD is planning on drinking with someone who is also trying to find her limit. That means there is no steadying voice to say 'you may have had too much' or 'it might not be a good idea to have another glass' etc.

forcryinoutloud · 01/09/2017 16:25

NO. Why is this question even being asked? They're 16. It's like asking whether you should give your toddler a breadknife to play with.
what does it matter what they drink?. erm alcohol content of spirits Square?

Caprianna · 01/09/2017 16:27

purplecorkheart · 01/09/2017 16:28

Vodka, no.

ponderingprobably · 01/09/2017 17:00

No. Definitely not with a bottle. A single measure is quite small. How many units is healthy per day? Sharing a bottle means getting very drunk. If you had to take one to hospital, how would you explain yourself?

forcryinoutloud · 01/09/2017 22:36

I really hope you've heard the message loud and clear from most posters OP. Definitely NO not a good idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forcryinoutloud · 01/09/2017 22:41

She has promised me that it will just be the two of them, staying at home and not going anywhere else, and they'll be safe together.

Really? If you think no one has had an accident at home from drinking too much alcohol then you must be very naïve. NEWSFLASH you don't have to be out on the town or on a main road to come to serious grief after too much booze, you can quite easily do it at home in bed, in a chair or on your stairs etc etc Get a grip OP. I'll shut up now.

Izzabellasasperella · 03/09/2017 12:33

No I wouldn't allow this. It just sounds odd to me. I am not anti alcohol but I think it's something that should be used at social events and celebrations.

MissEDashwood · 03/09/2017 12:45

I wouldn't be best pleased, but then I'd be grateful for the transparency, hopefully she'll learn her limits.

My brother got drunk on cider when 14, decades later it still turns his stomach.

badasahatter · 03/09/2017 14:47

I bought fruit cider for my daughter's friends the Christmas she was 16 as some of them were drinking already and I allowed for a bottle each for them to say Merry Christmas to each other in my house. I thought that was a bit 'out there'....seems I was being tame. I'd be worried about vodka and worried about it being just the two of them. In a party context, with a bunch of youngsters letting their hair down, a bottle might get shared between 8 or 9 of them and might not be so bad, but I'd still balk a bit at spirits. Alcopops, lager and fruit cider seem more appropriate somehow, though they can be equally problematic. God...what I wouldn't give for the breast or bottle debate days!

corythatwas · 03/09/2017 15:19

SunshineAndSmile Fri 01-Sep-17 15:04:11
What I would be concerned about is the fact that this is not a party or a social event just a sleepover with 2 girls and a bottle of vodka. There's no social aspect, it's just them and alcohol in their bedroom.

Agree that this is a weird setup and I would be worried for that particular reason.

And find it a damn sight less safe than a party where there might be at least one tolerably responsible friend who spots warning signs and gets help. Or do you intend to actually be there looking through the door at regular intervals?

Even so, a very sad way of approaching social drinking.

corythatwas · 03/09/2017 15:22

And I speak as someone whose dd has done at least two hospital trips with inebriate-to-the-point-of-unconsciousness friends. Both occasions arising out of vodka drinking in a private house and "not going anywhere".

NotCitrus · 03/09/2017 15:32

I would make it clear I disapproved, and why. And also say that drinking spirits is something that grown-ups may choose to do, which by definition means not asking for approval, because it's on her own head.

I wouldn't rate the question as worthy of answering.

Logans · 03/09/2017 16:03

that's quite a good response from the mother. How about asking her for perhaps 150ml?? That's enough for 3*25ml shots each, and you can always take it away before then!!!

Plus, I actually suggest giving them half size shots anyway, that way it'll last for longer and they can get a whole evenings entertainment from hardly any alcohol.

JustDanceAddict · 08/09/2017 16:57

Half a bottle of vodka each - weird. What's the point?
I'd say no to that.,

waterrat · 09/09/2017 11:03

Why do people prefer girls to drink at home? I would rather drinking was seen as part of a fun night out not an end in itself. Dont two 16 year olds have more fun places to drink than their parents house?

At 16 i didnt discuss my drinking with parents so they are much better behaved than i was !

specialsubject · 09/09/2017 12:35

Yes, it is saddo central when all people want to do is get pissed. These two need to get lives.

It is basically a drug taking session. Alcohol as the be all and end all of fun is tragic. Teenage, adult, whoever.

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