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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

How do romances normally end in then teenage years?

83 replies

Teenageromance · 09/06/2017 14:06

I don't mean the short lived romances but the ones that last for a while. Concerned that dd has heartbreak ahead but thinks she is in a forever relationship. Not quite sure how to protect her except to keep her engaged with her other friendships and activities

OP posts:

Catminion · 09/06/2017 14:11

Pretty much like adult ones.
Find someone else they like better, and dump original boy/girl friend.
Fizzle out until one or both decide to call it a day.

One or both move away for Uni or whatever.

Sadly I don't think you can protect DC from teenage angst and heartbreak at some point.

Original poster

Teenageromance · 09/06/2017 14:14

I know-makes me sad I can't protect from this and almost not wanting dd to be in a relationship now as will likely end because of their youth.

OP posts:

LemonyFresh · 09/06/2017 14:18

I've been with DH for 10 years, met when I was 18.

AWhistlingWoman · 09/06/2017 14:24

Same as Lemony but 20 years

Original poster

Teenageromance · 09/06/2017 14:25

Lemony - why do you think it lasted in your case?

OP posts:

weebarra · 09/06/2017 14:30

20 years here too. We were both at uni together though. I think we've lasted this long because we have grown up together and genuinely have the same opinions about important things.

leonardthelemming · 09/06/2017 14:33

There are so many possibilities. I've known people who met at 15/16 and are now in their 30s, married (to each other) with kids of their own.

I was in a relationship for my last year of school and first two years of uni. (Her last two years of school and first year at a (different) university.) General advice nowadays is to go to uni single, but nobody told us that back in those days.
I thought we were serious - we had talked about marriage. Then, a week before the end of the summer term, she dumped me - after three years.

The following day(!) I met someone else. I was on the rebound, obviously, and I'm sure most people would advise against forming a relationship like that.
Six months later we got married. That was 47 years ago. We're still together.

So, strange things can happen.

Original poster

Teenageromance · 09/06/2017 14:34

I suppose I wish I had a crystal ball and could see if dd was going to be one of the 20 year couples like you lot! Then I could stop worrying. Did you all do lots of things to maintain your independence

OP posts:

Original poster

Teenageromance · 09/06/2017 14:41

Leonard - that's an amazing twist to your life. Suppose I should stop worrying as it will all probably work out in the end whatever the outcome.

OP posts:

Sleepsforpeeps · 09/06/2017 14:53

Me & DH have been together since 15 & 18 (been together 17 years this year, married 12), we split for a couple of months before we were engaged - I think it was due to the shock of moving in together quite young.

Never had any wobbles since - I think we've lasted due to the luck of meeting someone we click with so naturally, we've never had to work at our relationship as it just comes naturally.

I'll probably worry about heartbreak for my DC when they're teens though!

Idrinkandiknowstuff · 09/06/2017 14:56

I'm fifty, there are two couples from my year at school, still together, and all happily married, as far as Facebook is concerned at least.

Quietwhenreading · 09/06/2017 14:58

My DH and I have been together since we were 15. Our relationship survived school and university and we've been married for nearly 20 years.

You have no idea that your DD's relationship will necessarily end.

Don't borrow trouble.

WhyOhWine · 09/06/2017 15:09

they often fizzle out when they go to university, often without too much pain, as both are doing exciting new things. So even if they split, it does not necessarily mean this will be very painful.

Original poster

Teenageromance · 09/06/2017 15:13

What a reassuring lot - those of you who were in long term relationships from a young age is there anything I need to watch out for. I suppose making sure she keeps engaged with friends and making her own choices about uni are two obvious ones.

OP posts:

loobylou10 · 09/06/2017 15:13

We met at school when I was 15 and he was 18. Now 50 and 53, very happily married with 2 boys. He went to uni for 4 years, we dated throughout, married after 7 years and have just celebrated our 27th Wedding anniversary. Just go with the flow OP, you never know.

loobylou10 · 09/06/2017 15:15

Yes, don't change you FE/HE plans, keep your friends - if its right, its right.

icantfindagoodname · 09/06/2017 15:17

Me and DH met at when I was 11 and he was 12. Still together 22 years later :)

CypriotDonkey · 09/06/2017 15:20

Met DH when I was 17, together 30 years so far

Maiz7654 · 09/06/2017 15:22

My husband and I got together when we were 17. We're now both 29 and married with a 6 week old daughter. Not all young relationships end but we are very different people compared to when we got together. Luckily we changed and grew up in a way that suited each other.

Deemail · 09/06/2017 15:28

Dh and I have been together 27 years, married well over 20, since we were 17 & 19.

Ds and his girlfriend of two years recently split. He was heartbroken for, it's been extremely hard to see him go through this. It took a couple of weeks and while I wouldn't say he's over her (he would though) he's full on living life, doing stuff with friends and making plans. His gf, whom we'd all grown very fond of, behaved horribly to him after they split. Maybe it was her way of shaking him off for good? Anyway tough as that was for him and hard to understand, especially when the day before undying declarations of love were made, it's made him see her differently and he's adamant because of how she behaved after he'll never go near her again.
I can't help feeling it's not done though, they were very much a united couple. I hope they don't get back now but if they did that it would be well in the future.

I think ds has learned lots from the relationship though they had lots of happy times and experiences and supported each other and they've some lovely memories.

rainbowpie · 09/06/2017 15:30

I was with my ExBF for 3 years in my teens and I was devastated when it ended. I thought we were going to last forever! I had a bad year then met DH and he's my forever. I don't regret any of it. Encourage your DD to nurture her friendships and keep a sense of self.

You sound so empathetic which is lovely. My mum didn't acknowledge my heartbreak at all as we were so young and it really hurt our relationship for a while. Love is love at any age.

TheNaze73 · 09/06/2017 15:33

Different universities ended it for me with my first love. We chose to as we both wanted to enjoy uni life

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 09/06/2017 15:33

I was with DXP from age 16 to 21. I chose my university partly based on where he was, although it was a good course and my head of subject at school backed me up. It ended disastrously and we were both heartbroken. Almost 20 years on, we're friends again and have been for some years, and we're both married to other people with whom we are much happier than we would have been if we'd stayed together. Although it was awful at the time, it is ok now, and was OK again relatively quickly.

princessachica · 09/06/2017 15:39

They end by social media him liking or commenting another girls picture or him following a girl or adding her or messaging her basically showing interest in another girl online

beccii161016 · 09/06/2017 15:58

Honestly, the biggest reason (despite people assuming it's cheating or social media related) is that they get together as kids and then when they grow into adults realise that they just aren't suited anymore. They grow into different people with different goals, values and opinions on life. It's just something that happens!

Of course there are occasions where cheating is involved just as is the case with adult relationships. As horrible as it is to think your daughter maybe heading for heartbreak, there isn't much you can do to protect her except let he know you're there if it does happen. Heartbreak is one of those horrible things we all experience at some point. As long as you can help her through it she'll be absolutely fine x

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