How do romances normally end in then teenage years?

[Teenageromance]

I don't mean the short lived romances but the ones that last for a while. Concerned that dd has heartbreak ahead but thinks she is in a forever relationship. Not quite sure how to protect her except to keep her engaged with her other friendships and activities

Met and started dating my DH when I was 15 and celebrating 19 years of marriage this year. You can't assume it won't be forever and you'll possibly put a wedge between them if you insist that it won't be.

A wedge between you and your DD I mean. Not between them.

1st BF of 6 months I barely cared, the second I cried for 3 days with no eating or sleep. It was awful- my mum got my mates round and they all basically love bombed me ... I survived first love is cruel

I still don't know why he left lol , the first one thought I'd cheated when I hadn't ( ironically w 2nd bf who I started dating 2 weeks later ... I gues BF1 saw the signs lol )

There is absolutely nothing more infuriating to a teenager than being told that their relationship is not "real forever love". I remember it really clearly, and I don't think my parents ever said it and were quite supportive (within limits) of my BF - but I knew my DM was concerned and it just fuels the fire. Do keep your worries to yourself if possible.

Yes, talk about keeping space for other friends, encourage independent thinking - I'd not want future big uni plans for example based on following each other somewhere- but just try to be an open ear rather than a lecturer or worrier. Don't borrow trouble, as someone said upthread.

Fwiw I am now married to then teen BF!

And I've been with DP for 5 years .. also since we were 18 x

My cousin and his wife were in the same class at school, got together at 17, been together ever since - they're 50 now.

I'm another one who married her first boyfriend! I met DH when I was 16 and we got engaged just before I left school, after I had finished my A-levels. We married 2 years later, once DH had graduated and started earning a living. Next anniversary we will have been married for 40 years.

My Dsis also met her DH when she was 16 and married him at 18; they've been together for 37 years. My friend is another who met her DH at 16 and they married when she was 22 and are still together in their late 50s. Another friend who married her first boyfriend met her DH at a youth club when they were 15 and 17; they married about 10 years later and are still together, in their early 60s. Another friend met her DH when she was 14 and he 16; they had a baby when she was only 15 and then married as soon as she was old enough, at 16. Her parents, I am told, were horrified and said it would never last and they were too young to know their own minds. They've been married 52 years and are one of the most "loved up" couples I know!

There are a lot of us about!

Been with my husband since 16, now 27.

Lovely to hear of all this ❤️
My dd 11 has her first boyfriend at the moment and I'm already worried about the fallout when it happens amazing to read someone on here has known their partner since they were 11.it's very hard to not get emotionally involved I can't imagine what it's like when it gets really serious. I remember the heartache of myself having three serious relationships before I met my husband

I'm married to, and have 4 kids with, my first serious relationship from when I was 17 so that never ended it and hopefully won't.

My now 17 year old DD was with her ex from when she was 13 and he was 14, he broke up with her in November, barely a month after he turned 18, because he felt like they were going different places in life. He then proceeded to get very drunk every weekend and have a series of one night stands which he plastered all over his Facebook. DD called him out on it when it became clear to everyone that he only broke up with her because he was more interested in his new freedom as an 18 year old and he was vile to her calling her all sorts of nasty names and spreading rumours about her. And surprise surprise just as we suspected he got bored of that pretty quick and came running back to her 🙄 Luckily she isn't stupid enough to go back there and told him where to go.

You never know how it's going to end so just be there for her and support her

I got together with my first serious boyfriend when I was 15 and he was 16. We were together for three years (a long time at that age!), but with two break ups for two or three months each time.

The first time we split up I finished it - can't remember why now

The second time we split up because he was going to uni - but we got back together at the end of his first term.

The third and final time was when I was going to uni and I wanted to be young free and single. By the time I came home at the end of my first term I had a new boyfriend.

I may sound flippant, but it was a very important relationship for me. We may not have been a 'success story' like some of the others on this thread, but he was a lovely boy, and although we hurt each other at times I look back on him with fondness.

Met ex at 16 stayed together through six form and first year of uni. It wasn't really working at that point though I was heart broken. My Dm didnt really like him and that didn't help. He is hugely successful now which she found annoying (think famous in his field). I think it probably wouldn't of worked in the long run.
Taught me a lot and I didn't die from heatbreak.

Been with my DH since I was 18. Now 39.

He went to uni and I moved with him and supported him through it as I had a well paid job! My parents were NOT happy as you can imagine but it was the right thing for us. He has gone on to become the breadwinner for many years and we have 2 children.

Before that my boyfriend dumped me just after he went to uni. I was heartbroken but met DH 3 months later so it didn't last long.

Lovely to hear all these stories.

Honestly, the biggest reason (despite people assuming it's cheating or social media related) is that they get together as kids and then when they grow into adults realise that they just aren't suited anymore. They grow into different people with different goals, values and opinions on life. It's just something that happens!

I agree with this. I got together with my first boyfriend at 16. We lasted all through uni (me, not him) 2.5 hours apart, including a year of me living abroad. Finished uni and came home, stayed together another year before realising that actually we'd grown into very different people. We actually moved in together (had been together 7 years at this point) and then split a month later! It was pretty awful.
However.... I met now DH 6 months later, we have 2 DC. He met his now DW about 3 days after we split . They have a baby. It all worked out for the best. I don't regret the years I spent with him even though it didn't work out.

Meh, I was unlovable as a teen and never had any relationships or boys interested in me at all. That was heartbreaking. Ive never been hurt by a relationship but knowing you are unattractive as a teenager is far worse for self esteem, in my opinion.
Better to have loved and lost and all that.

Started dating at the end of school, he moved to a different city to uni and I had a gap year working. Then I moved to a different city again for uni. It just fizzled out when we couldn't see each other most weekends like we could when I was working. He still remains a very fond memory and the breakup itself wasn't so bad.

Just picking up the pieces of DDs first broken heart. Horrendous last five weeks, hope she doesn't fall as hard next time. It has been really tough on her self esteem and drained her physically and emotionally.

I never expected it to last, often they don't, all you can do us be there.

Now that exams are finished dd is seeing the boyfriend every day. Those of you who had these early strong relationships - should I put some boundaries around this.

My dd has just been dumped. I think I'm sadder than her as she's 11 so hopefully will bounce back quickly. Not looking forward to years of this to come!!!

Teenager : I'd like to know this! DS's GF has finished her exams and he's still got a few weeks to go until school breaks up. They want to see each other all the time but - as she well knows - he has homework and needs to be in bed reasonably early. That is, his bed, alone! I certainly don't want to come across like my mum did towards my first boyfriend (basically obnoxious cow) but these are children!

Now that exams are finished dd is seeing the boyfriend every day. Those of you who had these early strong relationships - should I put some boundaries around this.

No. It is something that is between them, and only them. Because...

these are children!

This statement crops up on MN a lot and it astonishes me that so many people seem to believe it. (Or possibly it's just people on MN who believe it, rather than the population as a whole.)
The law defines a child as someone under the age of 18 for the purposes of various legislation (mainly so under-18s can benefit from such legislation). But it doesn't mean they actually are children. Of course they're not - they are adolescents. And adolescence is not the last stage of childhood; it's the beginning of adulthood.
So teenagers should be treated as young adults and allowed to make their own decisions - certainly from the age of 16.

I met my ex when I was 16. We were together nearly 6 years. It fizzled out but I still look back on those years as fond memories and we split amicably. Doesn't always have to end in heartbreak even if it does end

I have very fond memories of my teenage romances, and learned an awful lot about life from them.

Boyfriend No. 1 tried to persuade me to sleep with him when I wasn't anyway near ready, and I learned that it was actually easy to say no.

Boyfriend No.2 was adorable, but became very possessive. I analysed this for weeks, decided I was bored with it, so dumped the poor boy.

Boyfriend No.3 was my first proper, might actually marry him, boyfriend. It lasted for two years, until half way through first year of university. Mutual split, because we'd grown apart, which was very sad, but the right decision.

My parents didn't intervene, other than to support me. Well, Mum did make No.1 and particularly No.2 lots of cups of tea and rounds of toast, when they sat on the doorstep in tears, when I wouldn't get back with them.