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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Any advice on getting 17 yr old up please

48 replies

babyface · 08/09/2016 09:09

12 year old dd has recently started the same school as her 17 year old brother. Her assembly is at 8.45, his is at 8.50. We are 5mins drive (on narrow country roads with no buses) away. She wants to get to school at 8.30. He gets up at approx 8.42!! And is pure evil in the mornings. I would also worry that left to his own devices that he just wont go to school-we just have to get thru to may! Any help avoiding morning meltdowns appreciated!

OP posts:
VioletBam · 08/09/2016 09:10

Why are you driving them such a short distance? Can't he cycle? I understand you perhaps wanting to drive the younger one whilst she's getting used to things perhaps....but a 17 year old being driven that far to school?

I think that's where your problem lies to be honest.

Make him take responsibility

123MothergotafleA · 08/09/2016 09:14

Bucket of cold water.....?

emilywemily · 08/09/2016 09:14

I imagine the roads are 60 roads wouldn't want my kids walking along them

FeckinCrutches · 08/09/2016 09:16

So he is making you late every morning?

RJnomore1 · 08/09/2016 09:16

I'd absolutely leave him. One reminder then that's it, why should your dd suffer?

And if he didn't go to school id be changing the wifi code, removing console controllers, stopping any financial input, not buying treat foods - whatever he enjoys about life basically.

I do have an almost 17yo dd and it frustrates me horribly, at that age dh abd I both had full time jobs and contributed to household expenses, they don't have a decking clue do they?

VioletBam · 08/09/2016 09:24

Emily OP says they're narrow country roads.

FrancisCrawford · 08/09/2016 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yeOldeTrout · 08/09/2016 09:30

Drive her up, drop her off, back home to fetch him & charge him for your time & petrol on 2nd journey.

Is he in year 13? What does he want to do after yr13?

yeOldeTrout · 08/09/2016 09:31

... who was it on MN, woke her teens up with a steaming cup of tea thrust into their hands. They either sat up & dealt with it or got burnt.

GetAHaircutCarl · 08/09/2016 09:34

I open the door, turn on the light and leave cups of tea outside their rooms.

PortiaCastis · 08/09/2016 09:46

Sorry but my answer is make him walk. If he's late that's his fault and he will have to accept the consequences for being late

Original poster
babyface · 08/09/2016 09:57

I like the bucket of cold water idea 123MothergotafleA .. maybe a cup tho so less drying...or maybe not 😂
He worked all summer so pays for most of his own stuff already. . I will have more leverage when his savings run out!! Nice to know others are in the same boat.. it may well have to be 2 runs on the days I'm not working yeOldeTrout.. taxi fair sounds good Wink

OP posts:
VioletBam · 08/09/2016 10:03

You'd go back for him?

Why would you let him be so lazy?

PortiaCastis · 08/09/2016 10:04

Sorry but make the lazy bugger walk. You cant wipe his bum for him all his life!

Original poster
babyface · 08/09/2016 10:08

He seems to be lazy whether or not I 'let' him!! Though head chef where he works told me it's great to meet a young lad who knows how to work Shock I nearly fell over.. unfortunately his work ethic does not come home with him and his little sis is getting very fustrated

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 08/09/2016 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KayJBee · 08/09/2016 10:14

Tell him the night before when you will be leaving, if daughter is ready, leave at that time. If he's in the car, great, if he's not then he has to make his own way, if that means walking or cycling then so be it. It was his choice to not be ready. At 17 he is old enough to get himself to a school that is only a 5 min drive away.

Original poster
babyface · 08/09/2016 10:16

If I don't drive him he hitch hikes

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 08/09/2016 10:19

Really ????

5BlueHydrangea · 08/09/2016 10:24

Oh dear. He thinks that's safe??
Does he have a bicycle? Does he not get in trouble at school if he is late?

Bobochic · 08/09/2016 10:36

You have to start getting firm about bed times and electronics in the bedroom. DC who cannot get up at 8am are not getting enough sleep.

Artandco · 08/09/2016 10:38

Just say you leave at 8.30am. Anyone not ready makes there own way and deals with the consequences of being late

blueskyinmarch · 08/09/2016 10:40

At 17 mine were told you will be ready to leave at X time or i will go without you. They knew i would follow through and were always ready even if it was with seconds to spare. It was 45 minute walk to their school with no buses and expensive taxi’s so they were aware of the consequences.

If i was you i would set a time for leaving and if he is not ready just go. It might take a few times with him missing this and having to walk/hitch but he will eventually get the idea.

Original poster
babyface · 08/09/2016 10:47

It's amazing how he manages to be on time.. it's like a super hero power. He can be the last one of the family up (and we do have some good time keepers!) And still waltz in to wherever he is going cool as a cucumber right on the dot

OP posts:
LetitiaCropleysCookbook · 08/09/2016 10:52

You have to start getting firm about bed times and electronics in the bedroom.

Good advice for younger dc, but it's too late for that when they're 17.