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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

WWYD 17yo going out alone.

61 replies

SpotOn · 07/02/2016 10:27

Just turned 17yo DS has a ticket to a concert in a city tomorrow night. He was going with a friend, but when his friend tried to buy a ticket they were sold out. I've looked on-line, and they really are all sold out.

DS plans to go alone. Its a half hour train ride away, to a city he's not familiar with. He's not quite sure where the venue is, but between him and his friend they would have found it.

I was worried enough about him going anyway, but pleased he was doing a "first", as in his first concert.

I would suggest selling the ticket, but I think it's too late. I can't stop him going, but am thinking about buying the ticket and train tickets off him. Or phone the venue and see if there are any magically spare tickets? Or should I offer to drive him there and pick him up? Or am I totally over worrying?

OP posts:
Savagebeauty · 07/02/2016 10:29

Let him go. He should check where the venue is beforehand though..easy enough

TurnOffTheTv · 07/02/2016 10:33

Goodness me, he 17 and going to a gig 30mins away. You are way over thinking this!

AgentProvocateur · 07/02/2016 10:43

I'm sure his friend would be able to pick up a ticket from a tour outside the venue if he was still keen to go.

Original poster
SpotOn · 07/02/2016 10:45

OK, DH says I'm being ridiculous, and he's surprised he's married to someone as over the top as me. Hmm

DS has a assured me he won't get stabbed, and definitely doesn't want me to give him money for the ticket so he can stay safely at home

I can't stop him going. He's much bigger than me. Grin

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 07/02/2016 10:46

I'd drive him ,but that's because my DS wouldn't use public transport ( nothing to do with being alone) so at that age I was basically a taxi service .

Iwanttokillthem · 07/02/2016 10:46

Unless he is generally clueless in navigating new areas I would let him go , get lost, find the place and come home jubilant at having done this on his own.

If he is clueless though I would take him .

Original poster
SpotOn · 07/02/2016 10:46

But is his friend can't pick up a ticket, he'll just have to get a train and bus home alone.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 07/02/2016 10:51

Wouldn't use public transport floral ?

gamerchick · 07/02/2016 10:52

If it's really hurting your head OP you could always making the offer of picking him up afterwards if he changes his mind. Win win.

dodobookends · 07/02/2016 10:53

My dd (16) has been travelling alone into a big city for some time now. What we did to start with is this: I would go with her on the train, but let her 'navigate' so to speak, and as long as she was happy she could find her way around, I would drop her off at the venue and let her make her own way home.

Would this be an option for you - to accompany him there, get him to learn the way, and allow him to come home on his own?

AtiaoftheJulii · 07/02/2016 10:55

I'd make sure he knows exactly how to get to the venue, and then I'd pick him up/meet him by public transport afterwards. Have done that lots of times for dd (now 17)! And I don't offer a taxi service as a matter of course.

Helenluvsrob · 07/02/2016 10:56

Let him go. He's 17. Agree with gamerchick be on standby though.

I always offer this when my kids go out ( locally! Not at uni lol). If you feel unsafe or just need me I will come and collect you. They've never abused it, but they know they have a get out and I know they do if they need.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/02/2016 10:57

I'd act as taxi driver I think.,

TheCraicDealer · 07/02/2016 11:06

I'd let him get the train there but collect him after. That way he'd have the 'experience' of negotiating trains, directions etc but I wouldn't be sitting beside the front door worrying until he was back.

Ludways · 07/02/2016 11:21

I'd let him go but if you're uncomfortable drive him there, find the venue and where to catch public transport for him coming home, then leave him to it It's not unreasonable to help him, so long as it isn't overbearing.

Ludways · 07/02/2016 11:23

Actually I prefer Craics idea of picking him up at the end better. Loads of people will be getting picked up, so no one will notice him going with mummy, lol

RebootYourEngine · 07/02/2016 11:24

At 17 i was pregnant and living in a city hundreds of miles from my family, in a city that i had never been before. I survived it.

However i dont know how i would feel when my ds is that age and wants to go off by himself.

Can he not research the route to the venue?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 07/02/2016 11:25

You are way overthinking this. If it's a big venue then there will be crowds of people moving between the public transport hubs and the venue and back again. All he has to do is follow the crowd. Easy.

Mind you, I moved to London on my own from a small Scottish village when I was 17 so I'm completely puzzled by a 17 yo with no SN who can't manage a bus to a gig.

StompyFreckles · 07/02/2016 11:26

I'd drive him there... I think. (My dc are all under 12 at the moment Grin)

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 07/02/2016 11:27

He's 17! If he's never negotiated travelling to a new city and finding a destination before then it's time he started! Jesus.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 07/02/2016 11:27

Don't drive him! This is a learning opportunity

AtiaoftheJulii · 07/02/2016 11:38

I just don't like the idea of a teenager travelling alone latish at night, male or female. If there were two of them I'd leave them to it no problem.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/02/2016 11:53

Despite Obsidian objections, I'd drive him. Or at least pick him up.

Archfarchnad · 07/02/2016 12:05

To put this in perspective, DD1 is 17 and flying alone to Amsterdam next weekend for a university open day, staying two nights. She'll cope (with copious warnings about coffee shops and red-light district, but I'm very aware that she's nearly an adult and my job as a parent is to make her fully independent by that point. You don't wrap them up in cotton wool for 18 years and then let them loose on things with no idea of looking after themselves. So yeah, let him go, with an eye on the phone if you need to intervene in emergencies only.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 07/02/2016 12:09

My DD was travelling into London (45 min from us) by train when she was 13!! Let him go!

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