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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

WWYD 17yo going out alone.

61 replies

SpotOn · 07/02/2016 10:27

Just turned 17yo DS has a ticket to a concert in a city tomorrow night. He was going with a friend, but when his friend tried to buy a ticket they were sold out. I've looked on-line, and they really are all sold out.

DS plans to go alone. Its a half hour train ride away, to a city he's not familiar with. He's not quite sure where the venue is, but between him and his friend they would have found it.

I was worried enough about him going anyway, but pleased he was doing a "first", as in his first concert.

I would suggest selling the ticket, but I think it's too late. I can't stop him going, but am thinking about buying the ticket and train tickets off him. Or phone the venue and see if there are any magically spare tickets? Or should I offer to drive him there and pick him up? Or am I totally over worrying?

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2016 12:12

Blimey he's 17, he could leave home and get married ffs! Some people really seem to baby thier teenagers. Let him go, he'll be fine.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 07/02/2016 12:14

You're actually doing him a disservice treating him like a much younger child. He is, presumably, 18 this year or next.

Really he should be able to use public transport, navigate strange places and generally look after himself way before now. Definitely start tomorrow night.

I agree though about being on standby for genuine emergencies. My DC know if there is a serious problem there will always be an adult to talk to and taxi money. Another thing I did (after having my own phone nicked) is print off a little list of our numbers and taxi numbers for their purse/wallets in case their phone goes awol.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 07/02/2016 12:15

You're treating him like he's 14.

RoscoPColtrane · 07/02/2016 12:21

Can he get home by public transport after? We live a 15 minute train ride from a major city but the last train back is about 10.30, which is too early for concerts to finish and getting to the station.

Savagebeauty · 07/02/2016 12:30

Why would he get stabbed???

TheCraicDealer · 07/02/2016 12:35

It's not babying him. He's 17 and from what OP says isn't particularly used to going places alone. He will be negotiating an unfamiliar part of a city at night. If the gig is over at 10:30/11:00pm then chances are the last train will have gone anyway, and it'll be late with very few sober people about on the street. It's not babying to instil caution when thinking about going anywhere alone at night, with either young men or women. And him being alone, young and probably looking a bit lost makes him particularly vulnerable.

Ok, I may have watched that documentary on Manchester's serial killer last night on 4oD.

AtiaoftheJulii · 07/02/2016 12:40

My DD was travelling into London (45 min from us) by train when she was 13!!

So was mine, similar distance. But I wouldn't have wanted her coming home by herself at 11pm at that age!

If he's not very experienced, it's probably best to learn gradually than being thrown in the deep end.

BadDoGooder · 07/02/2016 12:43

I started going to Camden by myself at 13! (a half hour train ride and two underground trains!)
Admittedly I was streetwise, but it was the days before we had a mobile, never mind google maps!
I'm sure he'll be fine, just let him know you are there if he needs help!

Original poster

SpotOn · 07/02/2016 13:34

I too was travelling to London (was 1.5hr back then) as a young teenager and it's not the train that's worrying me, it's the time of night and this particular city - I've had bad experiences there...I'd have far less issue with him going to London and back.

I don't think there'll be that many people going from the station to the venue...it's a little known band (well if never heard of them!) playing near the uni.

He's experienced on trains and I know he'll find the venue ok...he'll look at a map on his phone. He has a huge amount if common sense but he is on the autistic spectrum so, yes I am guilty of worrying too much about him.

I asked DH what he would have done in the same situation at that age, and he said he would have gone but not told his parents he was going alone. I would have done the same. So I guess we should just be glad DS told us the truth.

He has strict instructions to reply to any texts I send, but as he pointed out he won't reply during the concert.

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 07/02/2016 14:02

Intrigued now, is it Blackpool? Please try not to let your past experiences cloud your thinking, if he's got common sense and his phone on him he'll be fine. I shudder to remember what i used to get up to as a teenager, it was the days before mobiles too, my folks had no idea. He's been honest and upfront with you, trust him to look after himself and have a great time.

Original poster

SpotOn · 07/02/2016 14:53

No not Blackpool!

I've name changed so no one can figure out which City and lay in wait to kidnap him.

I realise that sounds slightly unhinged.

OP posts:

StompyFreckles · 07/02/2016 15:35

Damn - that's my plan scuppered!

You actually think like me op - I too am slightly unhinged!

Original poster

SpotOn · 08/02/2016 16:51

The last train is 11:10pm - gig is a mile from the station. If it starts at 7pm do you think he'll miss the last train?

OP posts:

TurnOffTheTv · 08/02/2016 17:20

He will probably have to leave early. Main acts don't normally come on till 9/9.30pm. He'd have to leave at 10.45 really.

Original poster

SpotOn · 08/02/2016 18:05

DS reckons it finishes at 10.

But he knows when the last train is, so we'll see....I won't b surprised if we get a "can you pick me up?" text.

He's not wearing his glasses. I'm not sure if this is good (he looks less vulnerable IMO) or bad (he can't see much).

OP posts:

GummyBunting · 08/02/2016 18:08

Is he going to see bowling for soup in Norwich?

Seriouslyffs · 08/02/2016 18:12

I saw Bowling for Soup at the roundhouse last year. #coolmum
DS is out tonight and I'm collecting him. He's 15, it's not late finish but it's a foul night...

Original poster

SpotOn · 08/02/2016 18:12

Not Norwich!

I've never been to Norwich but it sounds rather safe and civilised.

OP posts:

GasLightShining · 08/02/2016 21:35

I don't think it is at all unreasonable to be worried.

My DD is 20 and has her own car. Last concert DH & I took her and collected her as the others were meeting her at the concert venue. The car park we normally use is quiet and I was worried. We went for a meal while the concert was on.

As long as he knows he can call you if he needs to

Original poster

SpotOn · 08/02/2016 22:48

I double checked and the concert finishes at 11.

Last train is soon after 11pm.

If he misses it, it'll take me over an hour to get to him. He'll be out in the middle of a city he doesn't know at 12.30 by himself. What the hell was I thinking? I feel sick.

OP posts:

TurnOffTheTv · 08/02/2016 22:51

Surely he will have the sense to leave early though?

TurnOffTheTv · 08/02/2016 22:52

Have you rang him at all? He should be on his way to the station so should pick up

Original poster

SpotOn · 08/02/2016 22:56

It went straight to voice mail.

OP posts:

TurnOffTheTv · 08/02/2016 22:57

Ok maybe no signal rather than turned off. Text? What's app? Snapchat?

TurnOffTheTv · 08/02/2016 22:57

Has he got Find My Friends? That's how I stalk my teen

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