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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

15 year old dealing weed . Hand holding pls

39 replies

notmrscookie · 12/01/2016 06:50

Posted before 15 yr old doing weed.Now he moved on to dealing I thought he had but have now found the kitbag is scales, new bags and list of drop of points. Social services are support .School got young person substance abuse advisor in. Son refused to see him.Been stopped and search and and had weed taken. Doesn't care will smash house up , steal and lie . Stbxh ak Mr cool daddy doesn't care and gives him money on his weekends goes out and gets drunk and leaves him home alone. Other parents are in denial and if I go to police everyone will hate me but my home is smashed up and not a home. Nothing safe and son is off his head. What can I do. Medatuon refused by ex. I need to be strong and make that call ad be hated. Help !

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 12/01/2016 07:08

Phone the police. Its the only thing that you can do.

I know that it will be hard to do but sometimes there just are no other options. I have had to do it before with my ds.

DorynownotFloundering · 12/01/2016 07:10

That call could save his life, please make it , hard as it is x

GloriaHotcakes · 12/01/2016 07:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Audreyhelp · 12/01/2016 08:12

Don't call the police they will be no help. Just keep searching and throw away. I am sure the police will be involved eventually but if it's you that rings you will never be forgiven.

specialsubject · 12/01/2016 17:02

who cares about forgiveness? Why does the OP have to live in this kind of filth and fear?

call the law. Nothing to lose.

RebootYourEngine · 12/01/2016 17:57

Audrey - why will the police be no help?

I think the OPs son should be looking at forgiveness from his mum rather than OP needing forgiveness. He is the one who is breaking the law and disrespecting his mum.

Savagebeauty · 12/01/2016 17:59

Definitely call the police.
Who cares if your son doesn't forgive you?

BrandNewAndImproved · 12/01/2016 18:00

Don't call the police fgs.

I'd be pushing ex to have him live there if he doesn't care what he's doing.

twirlypoo · 12/01/2016 18:00

Sometimes being a parent is making shitty awful horrid decisions for the best interests of your child. This is one of those times. You need to call the police so that he has a shock, and so he can be stopped now before it goes any further. This is one of those times you come down like a tonne of bricks because letting it carry on is a slippery slope. I am so sorry you are in this situation, my heart goes out to you.

ImperialBlether · 12/01/2016 18:03

If your child was near a fire, you'd push him away from it, even if that meant hurting him. You have to be the adult, the parent, here and tell the police. If he doesn't get stopped now, things will get much, much worse and he'll be older and the punishment will be far harsher.

You poor thing. Flowers

Crusoe · 12/01/2016 18:14

Call the police. Sounds like you have tried other options and they haven't worked. He may be your son but he is breaking the law, call the police.

BrandNewAndImproved · 12/01/2016 18:24

The police don't come around and have nice stern chats, they will arrest him and give him a criminal record.

wannabestressfree · 12/01/2016 18:27

And.... What If he deals to someone and they have a reaction? My son had a psychotic breakdown and spent two years in hospital after some arsehole giving him weed.
He doing something illegal and smashing up her house. She needs to phone the police!!!!

BrandNewAndImproved · 12/01/2016 18:44

No she actually doesn't. Just because your ds ended upon hospital doesn't mean the entirely unrelated ops ds needs to end up in jail and/or have a criminal record.

I would forget the dabbling in dealing (as shotting a few ten bags isn't really being a drug dealer) and concentrate on his inability to control his temper and emotions. Hes your son and he's being a twat but don't fuck up his future. If he messes it up himself getting caught then that's his problem but you really don't need to do that to him yourself.

Audreyhelp · 12/01/2016 19:00

If she calls the police he will end up with a criminal record they won't throw him in jail on a first offence.
He needs to get of weed to stop dealing it .
He will probably get caught doing it soon anyway but at least it won't be you that caused it and he won't hate you for ever.
If he is really out of control smashing the house up then call the police for that if you cannot handle him but keep drugs out of it.

wannabestressfree · 12/01/2016 19:41

He won't end up in jail.
He deserves a criminal record as he is dealing drugs which is against the law as is smashing up her house.
He is refusing help and exhusband isn't helping ..
Or she could wait until some really Nasty dealers attack her son or her... Not stacks of options has she?

Original poster
notmrscookie · 12/01/2016 22:13

Thanks for your views. Ex is a waste of space. New girlfriend and family more interesting . I am pray for the knock on the door from the police. Ex car been vandalized twice as warning . Lucky I was in hospital as ge tried to blame me. My parents died when I was 17 so its just me and his brother and him . Will call crime stoppers. The police know what he up to. Called them re stealing .statement made no further action taken . Roll on the end of GCSE and he is gone to the local young person shelter. I can cope and it is making me sick .I can carry on like this .it is not a life ..

OP posts:
dinnerladydianne · 13/01/2016 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Clarella · 13/01/2016 22:26

Reported dinner.

specialsubject · 13/01/2016 22:29

good luck to you, OP. He is a criminal, he knows it, and so he can take the consequences. Essential to keep you safe.

smileyforest · 14/01/2016 18:09

Please call the Police. I really wish I had when I found out my youngest son was smoking weed and possibly mixed up with dealing. My son has ended up seriously mentally ill with Psychosis drug induced from smoking weed. It's been horrific to see, huge affect on family and I've been unable to work and on AD s myself....I would hate any other parent or teen to go through this. It's hard to do....but you need to save your son and others..

Clare1971 · 16/01/2016 23:39

Hope you're ok OP. You're in an awful position and it does seem as if your son needs something to happen. He's not going to get out of this without support and although a criminal record's not great, there are some great people working in the Youth Offending Teams and it might actually be helpful to him.

Original poster
notmrscookie · 17/01/2016 23:45

Still can't believe it come to this. Have called school for an update as parents evening will be a waste of time. Other parents blaming me for there kids issue's but drinking with his dad . . Do wonder what police charges would be brought against me if I just walked away from it all , rented house and left him homeless I can't do this anymore ..

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 18/01/2016 06:43

Well If he is dealing they have a point... I would be upset too. Would his dad take him for a while? You need some respite and the current situation is not helping anyone...
If you want change push now whilst he is still at school. I had to refuse to have my son in the house when he needed help (severe mental health problems) and only then did ss help....phone the police and get some advice.

gamerchick · 18/01/2016 06:52

It's true, you have to pull up the drawbridge if you want any kind of help now. If you kick him out the council will find him a spot in supported housing but if he's as out of control as he say he is he won't last long there. Personally I would be landing him on his dad for a bit. It sounds as if you need a break.

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